Have I Placed God First?

Being a Catholic Christian in the 21st century, even if through conversion, means I am always a bit confused by the rejection Jesus faces by the Israelites. Perhaps this confusion is especially directed at the Pharisees, the ones who, on paper, should have recognized Him with the most ease.

How could they have witnessed so many miracles, heard so many wise sermons, and yet still not believe? Surely, I would not be one of these. Surely, I would not have rejected Jesus.

But, being a Catholic Christian in the 21st century in the United States also means I am privy to so much sacramental grace. I am able to freely attend Mass on Sundays and on Holy Days of Obligation, and even daily Mass if I were to properly order my life. I can receive the Sacrament of Penance weekly if needed, even daily too. I am blessed to share in the Divine Life of the Holy Trinity whenever I receive Him and to have our relationship repaired each time I disturb it.

I have all of those sacramental graces, so much more than the Pharisees; and yet, have I placed God first in my heart? Have I done more than observe the law? Have I truly loved Him above all else, and in turn, also loved as He loves?

O God, open my eyes to the rejection I have given You in the deepest recesses of my heart. Grant me perfect contrition and all the graces to love as You love.

Amanda Torres is a Catholic convert, wife, and working mom from St Paul, MN. She is making great use of her Bachelor’s Degree in History and Anthropology as a Management Analyst for the State of Minnesota. When she is not busy trying to get her husband, her rambunctious 7 year-old, and toddler twins into Heaven she enjoys reading, writing, and drinking coffee with entirely too much creamer. Amanda blogs for catholicmom.com and also occasionally blogs at In Earthen Vessels: HoldThisTreasureInEarthenVessels.wordpress.com