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Go, You Are Sent: Preparing Well For The Week Ahead

A few days ago, we talked here about preparing well for Mass. Just as important, however, is how we prepare for our week at the end of Mass.

We all know that far too many folks leave right after Communion. If this seems rather, um, impolite: it is. Imagine that a dear friend invites you over to his home for a sumptuous dinner. You can tell he has put much time and thought into its preparation and presentation. As you clean the last bite of food from your dish, you grab your car keys and head for the door. No word of thanks, no time spent after the meal enjoying each other’s company. Now imagine that friend is Christ. You can see how leaving right after receiving Communion is an ill thought-out plan.

After we receive Communion – the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ – we should spend time in prayerful thanksgiving. We can join in song and also use the time of silence after all have received the Eucharist to do this.

At the end of Mass, the priest gives the final blessing. It is hard to imagine the person, in today’s world, who does not need the grace of this blessing.

The word “Mass” gets its name from the Latin ite, missa est: go, you are sent. The priest (or deacon, if he is present) dismisses the people. The liturgy does not simply end; we are sent forth into the world to carry out the Good News in our everyday lives. Like the disciples, we all have the mission of living out and sharing the Gospel with all we meet. This is our baptismal right and promise.

After the final hymn, it is also good to spend just a few minutes in silent prayer. You have just received the greatest gift on Earth (the Eucharist), and have participated in the greatest prayer on Earth (the Mass). A moment of thanks to God is the very least we can offer.

Let’s face it: all of us have hardships, trials, skirmishes and difficulties in our lives. We have joys and celebrations as well. Sunday Mass is the high point of our week spiritually, and it is also our time to prepare for all that life has in store for us in the week that follows. The graces received at Mass are immeasurable; they are the “soul food” necessary for us to lead holy lives.

Don’t leave early, and don’t miss out on the final blessing. And remember to thank your gracious Host for the heavenly meal you’ve taken part in.

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Serving Christ By Serving Others: The Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy

It has been said that Christ has no hands and feet but ours in this world. Jesus Himself told us that whatever we do for the least in this world, we do for Him.

But what does that look like in concrete, every day ways? The Church teaches us that we are to serve others with mercy, both practically and spiritually. Formally, these are called the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says this:

2447. The works of mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor in his spiritual and bodily necessities. Instructing, advising, consoling, comforting are spiritual works of mercy, as are forgiving and bearing wrongs patiently. The corporal works of mercy consist especially in feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and imprisoned, and burying the dead. Among all these, giving alms to the poor is one of the chief witnesses to fraternal charity: it is also a work of justice pleasing to God.

While all of us may agree that these are very good things, how do we (in our day-to-day lives) shelter the homeless or bury the dead? No, the Church is not asking each of us to open homeless shelters or funeral homes. However, it is our Christian duty to attend funerals of those we know and to pray for the dead. We are supposed to work for justice for those who are homeless and hurting. Our castoff clothing can go to charities that give clothing directly to the poor.

On the spiritual side, when we hear someone say something incorrect about the Catholic faith, it is our duty to (charitably!) speak up and correct the error. We are to take time and listen to those who are hurting: a teen who has broken off a relationship, a neighbor that has lost a job, a friend who is struggling in his marriage. These are not simply “nice” things to do; they are our obligations as Christians.

If we bear the name of Christ, we must be His hands and feet. We must convey the Faith, speak with love, reach out in hope and act with mercy.

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God And The Creative Spirit

God is the Ultimate Artist. He – unlike us – can create something out of nothing. And create He does! The natural world is filled with His glory: flowers, animals, mushrooms, sea creatures – we are surrounded by His delight in color, movement, textures. His sense of humor is evident too; all one has to do is watch kittens play or pandas roll in the snow to know that God finds humor in His creation as well.

Despite the fact that some folks think elephants can create works of art, humans really are the only creatures who can purposely create. Some of us create very useful things: we knit sweaters or build a house. Others are blessed with more artistic talents: painting and sculpting and great works of literature. But all human art first, is created out of “something” and second, is a reflection of God’s good creation.

In 1999, during his pontificate, St. John Paul II wrote a letter to artists. It is worth reading regardless of whether or not you are an artist. He tells us what the unique role of the artist is in human culture … and it’s an important one.

Society needs artists, just as it needs scientists, technicians, workers, professional people, witnesses of the faith, teachers, fathers and mothers, who ensure the growth of the person and the development of the community by means of that supreme art form which is “the art of education”. Within the vast cultural panorama of each nation, artists have their unique place. Obedient to their inspiration in creating works both worthwhile and beautiful, they not only enrich the cultural heritage of each nation and of all humanity, but they also render an exceptional social service in favour of the common good.

The particular vocation of individual artists decides the arena in which they serve and points as well to the tasks they must assume, the hard work they must endure and the responsibility they must accept. Artists who are conscious of all this know too that they must labour without allowing themselves to be driven by the search for empty glory or the craving for cheap popularity, and still less by the calculation of some possible profit for themselves. There is therefore an ethic, even a “spirituality” of artistic service, which contributes in its way to the life and renewal of a people. It is precisely this to which Cyprian Norwid seems to allude in declaring that “beauty is to enthuse us for work, and work is to raise us up”. [emphasis added]

St. John Paul II also reminds us that the gift within each artist comes from God:

Dear artists, you well know that there are many impulses which, either from within or from without, can inspire your talent. Every genuine inspiration, however, contains some tremor of that “breath” with which the Creator Spirit suffused the work of creation from the very beginning. Overseeing the mysterious laws governing the universe, the divine breath of the Creator Spirit reaches out to human genius and stirs its creative power. He touches it with a kind of inner illumination which brings together the sense of the good and the beautiful, and he awakens energies of mind and heart which enable it to conceive an idea and give it form in a work of art. It is right then to speak, even if only analogically, of “moments of grace”, because the human being is able to experience in some way the Absolute who is utterly beyond.

Even if we are not schooled in great art or literature, we know when we are in its presence. It creates a sense of awe and wonder. It deepens our understanding of ourselves, the world, of God. Art creates “moments of grace.”

Here is one such moment of grace. Enjoy the beauty of “Kinetic Rain,” an art installation at the Changi Airport in Singapore.

 

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Preparing Well For Mass

For a lot of us, preparing for Mass means finding socks and shoes for everybody and trying to get to church before Father walks up the aisle. However, there is something more to preparing for Mass, and a reason to do it well.

If you have the chance, the night before Mass, look over the readings and the Gospel for Sunday. (You can always find them here.) You don’t need to memorize them, but prayerfully read over them. It is also a good practice to read the Collect. This is the opening prayer the priest proclaims right before the readings. The Collect sets the “tone” for the liturgy. Listen to God’s voice; what stands out for you in these words? This preparation will help you enter into the readings more deeply when they are proclaimed at Mass.

Remember that when you enter a Catholic Church, Christ is present. He is present in the people, but He is present in the Eucharist (reserved in the tabernacle) Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Christ, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, is there, and we have the opportunity to be with Him. That alone should make us want to prepare well.

The Church requires us to fast for one hour prior to Mass (water and medications are allowed.) This small sacrifice is made so that we can focus on the Eternal Food that is Christ Himself.

When we enter a church, we bless ourselves with holy water in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. This is a remembrance of our baptism and our baptismal vows. It is a sign that we belong to Christ, sealed to Him at the time of our baptism. It should be done with reverence and faith.

Before we enter the pew, we genuflect. We genuflect in the direction of the tabernacle. This is our humble way of acknowledging Christ’s presence there. It is the gesture one would make before a king, and we are entering into the presence of the King of Kings. By reverently and prayerfully bending our knee and bowing our head, we are telling Christ, “I know I am in your presence, and that I am your  humble servant.”

In some churches, the tabernacle is kept in a small chapel, typically used for daily Mass and Adoration. In this case, one can simply bow reverently in the direction of the altar. This symbolizes our holy veneration of the altar, where the eternal Sacrifice of Christ will be celebrated.

It is good to arrive a bit early for Mass – 10 or 15 minutes is good. This gives us time to pray. The online ministries of Creighton University says this:

Just like all formal prayer, it is really important to ask for the grace we desire during this Eucharist. We have lots of things to ask for. We know people who are sick. We may be having financial difficulties. Our marriages may be strained. We might be heart sick about struggles our adult children are having. We have many needs. Our focus at this moment is to ask for the grace we need during this next hour, at this Eucharist. We might pray, “Lord, let me enter into this celebration of your love for me. I know that if I let you love me and give me your Good News, and its challenge, and if I let you fill me with your life-giving Body and Blood, I will have deeper peace and courage, hope and a sense of mission to return to my everyday life, in your Spirit.”

When we make the effort to prepare well for Mass, it means that we can enter into the Mystery of the liturgy more fully, with a heart and mind focused on Christ. Because we are fallible beings, we won’t always be able to this (or we are wrangling toddlers who don’t understand that Daddy is trying to pray!), but God appreciates and understands our efforts. And, like exercise of the body, the exercise of our will and spirit will make them stronger and our preparations better. We pray:

May we receive the bread of angels,
the King of kings and Lord of lords,
with humble reverence, with the purity and faith,
the repentance and love, and the determined purpose
that will help to bring us to salvation.
May we receive the sacrament of the Lord’s Body and Blood, and its reality and power.

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Love: The Christian Identity Card

In Rome this past weekend, more than 70 thousand teens from Italy and the world traveled to Rome for a Jubilee pilgrimage celebrating the Year of Mercy. On Saturday, priests (sitting on chairs in the open air) heard the confessions of these young people in St. Peter’s Square. Pope Francis joined them, hearing the confessions of 16 young people.

On Sunday, the pope addressed the young people in  his sermon.

The Pope told the thousands of 13 to 16 year olds gathered in St Peter’s Square that “love, was the Christian’s identity card, the only valid “document” identifying us as Christians.  If this card expires and is not constantly renewed,” he said, “we stop being witnesses of the Master.”

Then he asked the teenagers gathered “Do you want to experience the love of Jesus? Let us learn from him, for his words are a school of life, a school where we learn to love.”

The Holy Father noted, however, that although love is beautiful and it’s the path to happiness it is not necessarily and easy path.  It is, he said, demanding and it requires effort.

Sunday’s Gospel, from the book of John, was short, but powerful. It formed the basis of Pope Francis’ remarks:

When Judas had left them, Jesus said,
“Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
If God is glorified in him,
God will also glorify him in himself,
and God will glorify him at once.
My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
I give you a new commandment: love one another.
As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

It is easy to dismiss the Gospel (and Pope Francis’ remarks) as simply “feel good” words: let’s all love each other and be happy! But a closer reading reveals that Jesus is asking a great deal from us. Although the disciples did not yet know it, Jesus would show them the extent of His love: His sacrificial death on the Cross. Jesus willingly burdened Himself with our sins, was beaten, humiliated and died a slow, agonizing death – because He loves us.

Jesus is telling us that, if we truly want to bear the name “Christian,” to carry the “Christian identity card” – we must love each other in a sacrificial manner. So, what would that look like? St. Paul, in his writings to the citizens of Corinth, makes it clear:

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Today, we are all students in the school of love. We must learn love, we must practice love, we must accept love, and we must love all those who cross our paths. It is our identity as disciples of Christ.

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5 Ways Prayer Can Help You Make A Decision

Decisions, decisions. If it seems like you have a lot of decisions to make, it’s because you do. One study says we make 35,000 decisions in a day! Admittedly, many of those decisions are small (Should I have cornflakes or a bagel this morning?), but we are all faced with big decisions in our lives.

Some of us are in positions of leadership at work, and have to make decisions about hiring, firing, budget cuts and other decisions that affect people’s lives greatly. Parents must make difficult decisions regarding children (public school or private?) Any adult in our culture has to make weighty decisions: Do I move to a new state for that great job? Is this the woman I want to marry? Does my elderly parent need to be moved to a nursing facility?

It’s not easy to make decisions like these. As Catholics, we are often told to “pray about it.” Many of us hope that God will take out a billboard on the side of the road that says, “Hey, you! Do this!” but it doesn’t work that way. So how can we use prayer to help us make decisions. Here are some ideas.

  1. Use prayer to help you figure out the situation. Too many times, we ourselves aren’t clear on what it is we are actually trying to decide. Say for instance that your’e trying to decide whether to send your child to public or private school. You’ve been struggling with the cost of private school. But settling down before God, in a quiet place, you begin to sort your thoughts out. Yes, finances are one issue, but you also realize that you had a great education in public schools, and you want the same for your child. Sometimes, prayer can help us figure out not only the decision, but the emotions and facts involved.
  2. Journal your prayers. For many of us, writing out our prayers can help clarify things. Seeing the words on paper, allowing ourselves to think through the decision before us, can often help with the decision. Just make sure that you are really praying as you journal, and not simply making lists or writing down ideas.
  3. Be confident about God’s plan, and ask that He help you discern His will. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that God couldn’t possibly care about whether or not we take a job three states away. He must have far bigger issues to deal with! But Jesus tells us that our Heavenly Father cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, yet cares so much more for us. (Matthew 6) Trust that God deeply loves you, wants the best for you, and is happy to help you make decisions.
  4. Be quiet. This is probably the hardest one for all of us! However, we cannot hear the voice of God if we are bombarded with noise. If that means driving with the radio off, getting up 30 minutes before the kids, or stepping inside a church on your lunch, then do that. Allow yourself this time with God to just listen. Be still. Hear His voice.
  5. God’s will is always good. Now, that doesn’t mean a decision won’t be tough. Telling your 13 year-old that your family is moving likely won’t be a happy moment. Theologian Peter Kreeft says we should look for love, joy and peace. If a particular decision makes us feel angry, unsettled or anxious, we should take that as a sign that we are not moving in a direction God wants.

Above all, give yourself over to God. Tell Him you seek His will and wish to do want He wants. Remember the Our Father when we pray, Thy will be done? That’s a perfect prayer for making decisions.

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The Communion And Friendship of Saints

A saint, as defined by the Catholic Church, is one who has “preceded us into the kingdom, especially those whom the Church recognizes as saints, share in the living tradition of prayer by the example of their lives, the transmission of their writings, and their prayer today.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2683)

For some of us, a saint is a plaster statue, pious-looking but not very human. Or a saint might be that person you studied in middle school so you could pick out a cool Confirmation name. But if this is where our relationships with the saints begins and ends, we miss out on so much.

Scripture tells us (in Hebrews) that we are “surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.” That’s the saints. They witness to us the great love of God. They loved God, know that God loves them, and want others to know that love. That’s what the saints all have in common.

Yet, if you study the saints, you will find as many personalities, gifts, life choices and challenges as there are stars in the sky. And this is the Church’s gift to us: the saints – our “big” brothers and sisters in faith – show us how to love God, love others and do God’s will in many different ways, many different walks of life.

Take for instance St. Gianna Molla. She was a 20th century woman: a doctor, a wife and mother, an athlete. She loved her family and sought to serve God in her work. She also loved life: the life of the family and the life of the  unborn. When she was pregnant with her fourth child, it was discovered that she had a uterine tumor. Any treatment of the tumor would likely result in the death of the baby, so Gianna and her husband chose to continue the pregnancy. A little girl was born healthy, but Gianna lost her life. She told her doctors: “If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child – I insist on it. Save the baby.” St. Gianna Molla is a powerful witness for the pro-life movement, for modern mothers who seek to balance work and home, and for those who are faced with frightening medical decisions.

St. Hildegard of Bingen is also a saint and female, but that might be all she has in common with Gianna. Hildegard lived in the 12th century and was a Benedictine nun (the Benedictines were known then for their rather strict way of life.) She received visions from God, which she said made her see her fellow humans as “living sparks” of the love of God. She loved Scripture and loved helping others understand it. She was a scientist, a musician, and founded convents. Her writings are so profound that Pope Benedict XVI declared her a “Doctor of the Church,” a title given to only 35 saints in the Church’s history. A Doctor of the Church is someone whose life work has contributed greatly to theology and/or doctrine of the Catholic Church.

These are just two examples of saints, but these two women show the depth and breadth of the saints. A wife and mother, a nun. A modern doctor, a medieval seeker of healing in plants. An athlete, a musician.

The saints are not plaster people. They are real. They struggled with the same things we struggle with: family issues, doubts in faith, anger, jealousy, money problems. They knew challenges and disappointments, hostility from those who were supposed to support them and those who questioned their devotion as maybe just a little … crazy. For whatever you struggle with, there is a saint who has “been there and done that.”

Catholics do not pray to the saints. We pray to God alone. But just like you might ask a friend to pray for an issue you’re struggling with, we ask the saints for their intercession before the throne of God. They now live eternally in God’s presence, so who better to buddy up with?

A caution: saints are not magical. The Church warns us against going beyond devotion to a particular saint and veering off into some sort of enchantment: “If I say just the right words to just the right saint, I’ll get what I want.”

Adoration is the worship and homage that is due to God alone. The Saints are human like you and I.  They are not divine. Adoration of the saints has never been nor will ever be part of Catholic teaching or prayer. We venerate the saints.

That being said, we are strongly encouraged to make friends with the saints. (Keeping in mind that they are not dead, but alive in Christ!) We often refer to “patron saints;” these are the saints we may be named after, the saint on whose feast day we were born, that person you chose for your Confirmation name are all patrons. We should have a relationship with them. The Church encourages us to learn about the saints: read biographies, read the saints’ own writings, emulate how they prayed. In this way, we learn how to more and more become holy: these brothers and sisters in the faith become examples of how to overcome our sinfulness, despite all the human challenges we face.

As we pray when we pray the Litany of the Saints, may all the holy men and women pray for us!

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Living Your Catholic Faith Out Loud

You’ve probably heard the question, “If you went on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict  you?” It’s not a bad way to examine yourself. When  you reflect upon your life, do people know you’re Catholic? Are you living your Catholic faith intentionally, with prayerful purpose? Are you living your Catholic faith out loud?

For instance, think of your house. When guests come over, do they see a home that reflects your faith or simply a place where people live? No one is suggesting you have to turn your home into a shrine, but if you are serious about your faith, your home should certainly be the “domestic church” we are called to create. A prayer space, crucifixes, a picture of the Holy Father and many other items are a great reminder to all that this home is dedicated to God.

Speaking of a prayer space, one can easily create this. You don’t need an entire room; a nook or corner will do. Even young children can help with the creation and use of a family prayer space. A comfortable chair, a small table to hold a Bible and other reading material, a votive candle and a small crucifix or picture makes for an easy-to-do space for personal prayer and meditation.

Many of us like to decorate our vehicles. If you do, are those stickers compatible with the faith? We don’t want to give the world the impression that our faith is something we leave at church, so a bumper sticker that is off-color or mean-spirited is in contradiction to our faith. And let’s not forget driving itself! Are we kind when we drive? Do we give in to road rage? The ultimate goal is to get everyone to where they are going safely. A short prayer before we even start the engine can keep us “on track” in our vehicles.

Most of us can display items on or around our work space. If possible, make sure your desk has a Catholic “spirit” about it (Yes, sadly it’s true that some work places restrict this sort of thing.) A small cross, a prayer card, a favorite Scripture verse – all of these are great for us but can also start conversations with co-workers about faith and its centrality in our lives. If you can’t put up such items, you can still live out your faith at work by the way you speak about others, refusing to gossip or speak poorly of someone, being ethical and kind in your work.

Even a trip to the grocery store gives opportunities to share your faith. Let’s say the cashier has some dog tags around her neck (this is a true story!). You ask her about them, and she tells you they are a copy of her son’s dog tags. He is a combat soldier, and works in very dangerous places. You ask his first name, and she tells you. You promise to pray for his safety. A simple gesture like this is another way to live your faith “out loud.”

Remember, we are not meant to be “show offs” or holier than thou. However, Christ is very clear: we are to go out and make disciples of all nations. In order to do that, people need to know that we are persons of faith, open to questions, dialogue and that we are someone who prays with intent. Learning to not be shy about sharing the Good News and being open to situations like the ones above can help lay the groundwork for opportunities to share Jesus with someone. Let’s all learn to live our faith out loud just a little bit more!

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“My Sheep Hear My Voice”

Yesterday was Good Shepherd Sunday, celebrated on the Fourth Sunday of Easter. According to the Gospel of John, chapter 10, Jesus proclaims that he is the gate for the sheep, the good shepherd. My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

Now all of this would have made a great deal of sense to the people Jesus spoke to directly. They knew all about sheep. For those of us who live in a world of minivans, suburban cul-de-sacs, grocery stores and the internet, the closest most of us come to sheep is buying a new sweater at the mall. A little knowledge of sheep will help clarify what Jesus is really telling us.

First, sheep are completely defenseless. They can’t run fast, nor can they fight predators. A shepherd and a sheep dog are necessary to keep predators away.

Sheep are also naturally social. They like being around each other and around people, so long as they are well treated. Sheep cannot thrive in isolation.

Sheep are followers. The sheep that starts walking first is the leader – not necessarily because it’s the strongest or smartest, but because it started to walk first. Sheep – sometimes to their peril – follow.

Sheep like the predictable and they scare rather easily. A good shepherd is gentle, firm and keeps the sheep calm.

Sheep have a reputation for being, well, rather … dumb. Of course, they are not rational beings, with the ability to make decisions based on facts, past experiences, the advice of others, etc. They simply do sheep things.

With all this in mind, Jesus as the Good Shepherd perhaps will be more meaningful. He is saying to us that He will defend us against evil. He is telling us that He knows we do not thrive in isolation; His church, his flock, must depend on each other in order to thrive as we seek His will.

Jesus knows we human beings are followers. We warn our tweens and teens about peer pressure, but we can all fail prey to it. We need to know that we follow Christ.

While humans are not dumb, we do dumb things. We don’t always do what we know is best. We make stupid, hurtful decisions. We sin. Jesus knows this about us. And He wants better for us, so He asks us to follow Him. He will not lead us astray.

The hymn, The King of Love My Shepherd Is, has this lovely verse:

Perverse and foolish, oft I strayed,
but yet in love he sought me;
and on his shoulder gently laid,
and home, rejoicing, brought me.

We are led astray, but Christ is gentle and loving. He seeks out His sheep, and brings us home.

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10 Great Quotes From “The Joy of Love”

We’ve spent the last few days examining sections of Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), Pope Francis’ recently released apostolic exhortation. This “love letter to families” has so much rich material; it deserves far more in-depth study than we can afford here. However, here are 10 great quotes that we hope will spur you to pick up the document and prayerfully read over it.

  1.  The couple that loves and begets life is a true, living icon – not an idol like those of stone or gold prohibited by the Decalogue – capable of revealing God the Creator and Saviour.
  2. The word of God tells us that the family is entrusted to a man, a woman and their children, so that they may become a communion of persons in the image of the union of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Begetting and raising children, for its part, mirrors God’s creative work.
  3. The sacrament of marriage is not a social convention, an empty ritual or merely the outward sign of a commitment. The sacrament is a gift given for the sanctification and salvation of the spouses, since “their mutual belonging is a real representation, through the sacramental sign, of the same relationship between Christ and the Church.”
  4. The Church is a family of families, constantly enriched by the lives of all those domestic churches.
  5. True love values the other person’s achievements. It does not see him or her as a threat. It frees us from the sour taste of envy. It recognizes that everyone has different gifts and a unique path in life. So it strives to discover its own road to happiness, while allowing others to find theirs.
  6. If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us. Otherwise, our family life will no longer be a place of understanding, support and encouragement, but rather one of constant tension and mutual criticism.
  7. In family life, we need to cultivate that strength of love which can help us fight every evil threatening it. Love does not yield to resentment, scorn for others or the desire to hurt or to gain some advantage. The Christian ideal, especially in families, is a love that never gives up.
  8. Marital joy can be experienced even amid sorrow; it involves accepting that marriage is an inevitable mixture of enjoyment and struggles, tensions and repose, pain and relief, satisfactions and longings, annoyances and pleasures, but always on the path of friendship, which inspires married couples to care for one another: “they help and serve each other”.
  9. Large families are a joy for the Church. They are an expression of the fruitfulness of love.
  10. Married couples are grateful that their pastors uphold the high ideal of a love that is strong, solid, enduring and capable of sustaining them through whatever trials they may have to face. The Church wishes, with humility and compassion, to reach out to families and “to help each family to discover the best way to overcome any obstacles it encounters”.
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Families: Never Give In

In 1941, London had been under siege, seemingly standing alone against a well-armed enemy. Germany had bombed the city for months: lives were lost, buildings destroyed, morale low. England’s then-Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, spoke to the nation about these dark days:

[N]ever give in, never give in, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

In his apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), Pope Francis understands that the modern nuclear family – father, mother, children and extended family – is also under siege. The war we face is with a hidden enemy but one who is still very real. Parents know the struggle of protecting innocence, of standing firm in faith and morality against an increasingly hostile culture, and the necessity of creating a home life that offers respite from a harsh world.

In family life, we need to cultivate that strength of love which can help us fight every evil threatening it. Love does not yield to resentment, scorn for others or the desire to hurt or to gain some advantage. The Christian ideal, especially in families, is a love that never gives up. I am sometimes amazed to see men or women who have had to separate from their spouse for their own protection, yet, because of their enduring conjugal love, still try to help them, even by enlisting others, in their moments of illness, suffering or trial. Here too we see a love that never gives up. Para. 119

The Holy Father talks of a positive attitude that requires endurance, and a “dogged heroism” that is committed to goodness. One would be hard-pressed to find someone who disagreed with this. We all want a home that is a place of forgiveness, goodness, and love. One would also be hard-pressed to find any family who does this well, all the time.

We are human; we all struggle with sin. As much as we love our parents, our siblings, our children, our spouse, we do not always love as we should. We criticize. We speak harshly. We fail to listen. We are impatient, unkind, unforgiving: the very opposite of what we are called to be.

What to do? The Church offers us the Sacrament of Reconciliation so that we might seek forgiveness from God and gain the grace we need to do better. Making frequent use of this sacrament as a family is a tremendous gift we can give one another.

The simple act of saying, “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” when they need to be said is indispensable. Both children and adults need to know that they can make mistakes, they can sin, and that they are still loved and lovable.

We can never give in. Evil hates love. It hates forgiveness, patience, kindness. Evil hates the dogged determination to love. While it is difficult for families to live up to this standard, we must never give in. We cannot give in to despair or fear, to hostility or harshness. We must never give in. We must love.

male and female
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Male And Female He Created Them

We return today to the Holy Father’s apostolic letter, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love.) Pope Francis, following the groundwork laid by St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, reminds us that men and women are equal in dignity, but are distinct in the gifts they offer the world. It is a primary tenet of the Judeo-Christian tradition that humanity was created male and female and as with all God’s creation, both are fundamentally good.

This apostolic letter addresses many current issues and problems in the world that, even 50 years ago, would have been thought outlandish or impossible. The scourge of drug abuse and its burden on families, the idea that one can choose to “identify” as a different gender and the scientific advances that have made procreation outside of the conjugal act possible are all discussed.

It needs to be emphasized that “biological sex and the socio-cultural role of sex (gender) can be distinguished but not separated”. On the other hand, “the technological revolution in the field of human procreation has introduced the ability to manipulate the reproductive act, making it independent of the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. In this way, human life and parenthood have become modular and separable realities, subject mainly to the wishes of individuals or couples”. It is one thing to be understanding of human weakness and the complexities of life, and another to accept ideologies that attempt to sunder what are inseparable aspects of reality. Let us not fall into the sin of trying to replace the Creator. We are creatures, and not omnipotent. Creation is prior to us and must be received as a gift. At the same time, we are called to protect our humanity, and this means, in the first place, accepting it and respecting it as it was created. Para. 56

The letter expounds further that women, in the role of motherhood, are indispensable to children and families:

[W]e cannot ignore the need that children have for a mother’s presence, especially in the first months of life. Indeed, “the woman stands before the man as a mother, the subject of the new human life that is conceived and develops in her, and from her is born into the world”. The weakening of this maternal presence with its feminine qualities poses a grave risk to our world. I certainly value feminism, but one that does not demand uniformity or negate motherhood. For the grandeur of women includes all the rights derived from their inalienable human dignity but also from their feminine genius, which is essential to society. Their specifically feminine abilities – motherhood in particular – also grant duties, because womanhood also entails a specific mission in this world, a mission that society needs to protect and preserve for the good of all. Para. 173

The pope laments that fathers, in so many cases, are absent in today’s family. This leaves an enormous hole in the heart of the family and of a child.

God sets the father in the family so that by the gifts of his masculinity he can be “close to his wife and share everything, joy and sorrow, hope and hardship. And to be close to his children as they grow – when they play and when they work, when they are carefree and when they are distressed, when they are talkative and when they are silent, when they are daring and when they are afraid, when they stray and when they get back on the right path. To be a father who is always present. When I say ‘present’, I do not mean ‘controlling’. Fathers who are too controlling overshadow their children, they don’t let them develop”. Some fathers feel they are useless or unnecessary, but the fact is that “children need to find a father waiting for them when they return home with their problems. They may try hard not to admit it, not to show it, but they need it”. It is not good for children to lack a father and to grow up before they are ready. Para. 177

In the day-to-day life of our homes, we rarely think of the “grandeur” of the feminine or the “gifts of masculinity.” Nor does every family follow traditional roles; in some families, the father is at home with the children while the mother works outside the home, the father is the one who cooks and cleans and the mother is the one who maintains the car. The point made in this letter from Pope Francis is not that men and women should do certain things, but rather that men and women are different beings. We know we must care for the created world: we recycle, are careful with our use of water and so on. Yet many of us never give a thought to how we respect the masculine and feminine, the man and woman God created. Pope Francis, in this apostolic letter, gives us the opportunity to reflect on this.

God created mankind in his image;
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

God blessed them and God said to them: Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that crawl on the earth. 

God also said: See, I give you every seed-bearing plant on all the earth and every tree that has seed-bearing fruit on it to be your food and to all the wild animals, all the birds of the air, and all the living creatures that crawl on the earth, I give all the green plants for food.

And so it happened God looked at everything he had made, and found it very good. Gen. 1:27-31