catholic home
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5 Ways To Keep A Catholic Home

When you’re a guest in someone’s home, you can learn a lot about your hosts’ family just by looking around. Lots of family pictures tell you that they value family. A room with a piano and other musical instruments tells you they are musicians.

If someone walked into your home, would they know how much your faith means to you?

Don’t think you need to turn your home into a shrine, with statues and candles at every turn. However, you can use a few creative methods to make your space more of the domestic church our homes are meant to be as Catholics. Here are just some ideas:

  1. Celebrate baptism days. This doesn’t have to be anything fancy; simply enjoy a good meal with a nice dessert. Of course, use this opportunity to pull out your child’s baptismal candle and the white garment given to them on the day of their baptism. Talk about what these mean, and how your child can live out his/her baptismal promises. If your child’s godparents live close enough, invite them to the celebration.
  2. Make sure the liturgical year is celebrated at home. Even if you’re not crafty or an artist, you can still enjoy making memories and reinforcing the faith with your kids by making Lenten paper chains, lighting Advent candles, and setting up a Nativity scene. Even the youngest members of the family can join in  fun, simple ways to bring your Catholic faith home. It also reinforces that our faith is not just for church on Sunday, but the way we live every day.
  3. Buy a holy water font and fill it with holy water. Many people are a bit taken back by this, but indeed, it is perfectly acceptable for us to have holy water fonts in our home. You can put one by the entrance you and your family use the most, blessing yourselves as you come and go. Or consider putting one in every family member’s bedroom. It re-connects us with our baptism and is another wonderful way to reinforce the domestic church. (By the way, if you’re not sure where/how to get holy water, ask your pastor. Most churches either have a dispenser in the church or allow  you to get water from the baptismal font.)
  4. Use Catholic art. Perhaps a small statue or a picture of your child’s patron saint in his/her bedroom would be a good place to begin. You can also create a family altar. It doesn’t require a lot of money, but it’s a terrific reminder that we have “friends in high places” who are eager and willing to pray for us.
  5. Make sure you have at least one crucifix prominently displayed in your home. This isn’t simply a way to display your faith, but a way to remind us constantly of Christ’s greatest gift to us. In addition, we know every time we look at the crucifix that we are called to suffer in communion with Him, sacrificing in a small way every moment of every day in imitations of Christ’s great sacrifice.

Oh, and one more thing: go to Mass! Even if you can only go on Sundays, the Mass is the single most important prayer of the Church and the family. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to get there: kids are wiggly or grouchy, we want to sleep late, we are on the road for a long weekend. However, there is not any excuse (other than great sickness or caring for the someone who is ill) that should keep us from Mass. A healthy family spiritual life always begins and ends with the Mass.

As we look to the end of this Year of Mercy, it is so important that we remember our homes should be places of comfort, mercy and forgiveness.

In our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our schools, in our workplaces – we can be bearers of God’s mercy. Furthermore, in this jubilee year, we are challenged to break out of our routine lives and go the extra mile by actively seeking out those who are in need of the grace and peace of Jesus’ merciful touch. The notion of “jubilee” is an invitation to be “extravagant” ambassadors of mercy: merciful as our heavenly Father is merciful – without boundaries, without constraints, with our hearts full of solidarity for all humanity.

So, then, as we become agents and witnesses to mercy, we will be able, as a family of faith, to recreate our local parishes into “oases of mercy” for the life of the world around us. In a world too often experienced as a barren desert, bereft of true mercy and compassion, we will provide an oasis of healing and tenderness, because we ourselves have been touched and changed by mercy.

With just a few simple and on-going changes to our homes, we can ensure that we are truly living our faith whether we are at home, at church, or out in the world. “You are the light of the world,” Christ teaches us, “… your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.”

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4 Reasons To Have A Crucifix In Your Home

We are used to seeing crucifixes in church and that seems “normal,” but why have a crucifix in our homes?

(By the way, there is a difference between a cross and a crucifix. A cross is a simple reminder of the instrument the Romans used to execute criminals. A crucifix is a cross with a corpus, or body, of Jesus on it.)

  1. We should have a crucifix in our homes because the saints have set this example for us. “Prayer in front of a crucifix is encouraged as a means of focusing contemplation on Christ. Many of the saints practiced this, both in everyday prayer and also when they were suffering. Catherine of Siena was known to look upon a Crucifix for hours each day and when Joan of Arc was martyred, she asked a member of the clergy present to hold a crucifix before her.”
  2. It reminds us not to run from the tough stuff. Jesus relied on his twelve Apostles for so much. The night before He died, He begged them to stay with him throughout the night, and they all fell asleep. On the day when He needed them most, only John stayed with Him, choosing to remain with the Blessed Mother at the foot of the Cross. John didn’t leave, and we should try and emulate that.
  3. Our home is a “domestic church,” and it is a holy place. Think about it: your home is inhabited by people who belong to God through baptism, are confirmed in the Holy Spirit, sanctified through the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage and fed with Christ’s Body and Blood. It is a place where forgiveness is taught and sought, where our faith is passed on from one generation to the next and Christ’s love is exemplified (though imperfectly.) Our home should reflect all of this with a prominent sign of Christ’s sacrificial love: the crucifix.
  4. The crucifix is a constant reminder that Christ has conquered sin and death, and ultimately conquered evil. We are surrounded by evil. Sometimes, it seems as if evil has the upper hand. That is not so, and Christ’s death on the cross is proof. Simply have a crucifix to gaze upon in our homes is a reminder of this, and a way to strengthen us for battle. The traditional hymn, Lift High the Cross tells us: Come, brethren, follow where our Captain trod, our King victorious, Christ the Son of God. Lift high the cross, the love of Christ proclaim till all the world adore his sacred Name.

If you’ve never had a crucifix in your home, consider getting one. Ask your priest to bless it (it only takes a moment!) If you do have a crucifix, consider putting more in your home: in the bedrooms, for example. The crucifix ix a sign of God’s overwhelming love for us; who doesn’t need a constant reminder of that?

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Living Your Catholic Faith Out Loud

You’ve probably heard the question, “If you went on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict  you?” It’s not a bad way to examine yourself. When  you reflect upon your life, do people know you’re Catholic? Are you living your Catholic faith intentionally, with prayerful purpose? Are you living your Catholic faith out loud?

For instance, think of your house. When guests come over, do they see a home that reflects your faith or simply a place where people live? No one is suggesting you have to turn your home into a shrine, but if you are serious about your faith, your home should certainly be the “domestic church” we are called to create. A prayer space, crucifixes, a picture of the Holy Father and many other items are a great reminder to all that this home is dedicated to God.

Speaking of a prayer space, one can easily create this. You don’t need an entire room; a nook or corner will do. Even young children can help with the creation and use of a family prayer space. A comfortable chair, a small table to hold a Bible and other reading material, a votive candle and a small crucifix or picture makes for an easy-to-do space for personal prayer and meditation.

Many of us like to decorate our vehicles. If you do, are those stickers compatible with the faith? We don’t want to give the world the impression that our faith is something we leave at church, so a bumper sticker that is off-color or mean-spirited is in contradiction to our faith. And let’s not forget driving itself! Are we kind when we drive? Do we give in to road rage? The ultimate goal is to get everyone to where they are going safely. A short prayer before we even start the engine can keep us “on track” in our vehicles.

Most of us can display items on or around our work space. If possible, make sure your desk has a Catholic “spirit” about it (Yes, sadly it’s true that some work places restrict this sort of thing.) A small cross, a prayer card, a favorite Scripture verse – all of these are great for us but can also start conversations with co-workers about faith and its centrality in our lives. If you can’t put up such items, you can still live out your faith at work by the way you speak about others, refusing to gossip or speak poorly of someone, being ethical and kind in your work.

Even a trip to the grocery store gives opportunities to share your faith. Let’s say the cashier has some dog tags around her neck (this is a true story!). You ask her about them, and she tells you they are a copy of her son’s dog tags. He is a combat soldier, and works in very dangerous places. You ask his first name, and she tells you. You promise to pray for his safety. A simple gesture like this is another way to live your faith “out loud.”

Remember, we are not meant to be “show offs” or holier than thou. However, Christ is very clear: we are to go out and make disciples of all nations. In order to do that, people need to know that we are persons of faith, open to questions, dialogue and that we are someone who prays with intent. Learning to not be shy about sharing the Good News and being open to situations like the ones above can help lay the groundwork for opportunities to share Jesus with someone. Let’s all learn to live our faith out loud just a little bit more!

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Family: A School Of Love And Tenderness

Pope Francis has just released his Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris Laetitia, or “The Joy of Love” An apostolic exhortation is a type of letter a pope uses to explain conclusions reached following a Synod of Bishops. While this particular exhortation is far too long to discuss in whole here, we can find a few sections to consider.

Pope Francis reminds us that the family is the “domestic church,” the first place we learn the faith, and where God’s presence is always felt.

A family’s living space could turn into a domestic church, a setting for the Eucharist, the presence of Christ seated at its table. We can never forget the image found in the Book of Revelation, where the Lord says: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me” (Rev 3:20). Here we see a home filled with the presence of God, common prayer and every blessing. This is the meaning of the conclusion of Psalm 128, which we cited above: “Thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion!” (Ps 128:4-5) Para. 15

The Holy Father gives societies and cultures an important admonition: children are not property. While they are under the charge of their parents, children have their own “lives to lead,” and parents are charged with helping their children find that path. In today’s world, we must remember we are not “owed” children nor should children be bought and sold (either through such things as surrogacy or in the more horrible means of human trafficking.)

The pope is under no illusion that families are idyllic. However, we do have a standard we must hold ourselves to as Christians. Pope Francis speaks to this quite clearly:

Against this backdrop of love so central to the Christian experience of marriage and the family, another virtue stands out, one often overlooked in our world of frenetic and superficial relationships. It is tenderness. Let us consider the moving words of Psalm 131. As in other biblical texts (e.g., Ex 4:22; Is 49:15; Ps 27:10), the union between the Lord and his faithful ones is expressed in terms of parental love. Here we see a delicate and tender intimacy between mother and child: the image is that of a babe sleeping in his mother’s arms after being nursed. As the Hebrew word gamûl suggests, the infant is now fed and clings to his mother, who takes him to her bosom. There is a closeness that is conscious and not simply biological… Para. 29

No matter our faith or beliefs, the pope’s words ring true: our world needs tenderness. We need it most especially in our homes, our refuges from a world that can be chaotic, mean-spirited, ruthless and dispiriting. The tenderness of Mary holding the infant Jesus, the tenderness of Joseph as he taught the Child Jesus a trade, the tenderness of Christ as He cared for His earthly parents: all of these should be our icons, our examples, our prayers-in-action within the walls of our own homes.

We will contemplate more of Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation this week, but for today, let tenderness be our prayer and our manner of being.

 

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Family As ‘Domestic Church’

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2685 The Christian family is the first place of education in prayer. Based on the sacrament of marriage, the family is the “domestic church” where God’s children learn to pray “as the Church” and to persevere in prayer. For young children in particular, daily family prayer is the first witness of the Church’s living memory as awakened patiently by the Holy Spirit.

Our families are meant to be “little churches:” places where we practice our faith earnestly, we pray together, we make meals a priority, we forgive and celebrate together.

Is it just me, or are some of us saying, “Yeah, right…”?

We know the reality of family life: tussles to get everyone out the door in the morning. A shouting match with a teenager. Deep hurts with siblings that go back decades. Exhaustion from sleepless nights due to a baby’s needs or a toddler’s nightmares. Is this a “little church?”

Yes, it is. With all its troubles, heartaches, mistakes and mishaps, our family is our little church, our domestic church. It helps to remember that – as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta was fond of saying – God does not call us to be successful: He calls us to be faithful. We are not called to be perfect parents or perfect kids, perfect siblings or spouses. We are called to try to live out our faith in the mundane parts of our life (Time to clean the bathrooms!), in the harsh reality of our life (We need to put Dad in a nursing home), in the daily conflicts and crises (Our teen is lying to us; what do we do?)

It helps to think about the Holy Family. Maybe that seems a bit, well, ridiculous: after all, Jesus is perfect, Mary had no original sin to deal with, and Joseph was a saint! How is my family supposed to be like that?

Hear me out. Even though the Holy Family was holy, that doesn’t mean they didn’t face challenges. Imagine the gossip when it was discovered that Mary was pregnant before she and Joseph wed. That was literally a sin punishable by death; Mary could have been stoned. Surely there was talk – and not all of it nice.

Joseph and Mary, newlyweds and new parents, had to flee to Egypt in order to save their Son. They had to leave their family and home. Imagine: having a new baby and not having your mother or aunt or sister to help. Imagine leaving your business behind as the father, and having to provide for your young family in a foreign country.

At some point, Joseph died. Mary lost her spouse, Jesus his foster father. It may have happened when they were a younger family, or when Jesus was an adult. Either way, we know this pain.

Some of us know what it’s like to watch a child go through something terrible: a horrible illness, an addiction, an unplanned pregnancy. Imagine Mary’s pain watching her Son be tortured and killed.

Yet through all of this, the Holy Family was holy. They were faithful. They kept their promise to God: to serve Him, to love Him, to share His promise with others. When we were baptized, we made this same promise (or our parents made it for us.) We make it every time we pray the Creed: “I believe!” We make that promise when we faithfully attend Mass.

We also get the grace necessary to keep this promise. God doesn’t give us the task of being a domestic church, and not give us any help. No, we have grace: God’s very life in us. We can’t be holy on our own; we need God’s grace. But once we have that gift of grace, and we use it, we run with it: we can be holy! We can transform our lives, our families, our homes. That doesn’t mean we will be perfect, or even successful, but we will be faithful.

Make an opportunity to talk, as a family, about being a domestic church. What can you do better? What are you doing well? Where do you see God’s grace in your home? And then pray together for your domestic church.