God’s In-Pouring love

“Be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding feast, ready to open the door as soon as he comes and knocks.”

Weddings are wonderful events, celebrations when we somehow are able to set aside the past and hope for the future of a couple with whom we have in some way shared the journey of life.

However…

What would be some reasons why a wedding feast wouldn’t be a joyous celebration?

Think about it for a minute…

I’ll name a few hypothetical reasons why we may not be thoroughly and completely delighted at a wedding feast:

The bride has a more beautiful wedding dress than I did.
The wedding feast is larger than what my spouse and I would be able to have.
I don’t approve of the marriage.
I’m worried about the future of the couple.
I wish I could be that happy in public like the groom. Instead I shrink with fear or shame for some reason I can’t understand.
My marriage or vocational choice has gone through the wringer with sorrows and setbacks. It’s not fair that they have everything going for them.
I have been slighted or hurt or unjustly treated by one of them and hope they get what they deserve.

Whoa. Suddenly the feasting is no longer shining with joy. It is distorted and darkened with jealousy or fear or anger or…

…Or hurt…

In the Gospel today Jesus tells us to be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding feast. He says they should have their belts done up and their lamps lit, that is to be actively getting ready for his return.

So what are some reasons why we may not be actively, excitedly preparing ourselves for the Lord’s coming?

Here are some hypothetical possibilities…

I’ve lost a child and no matter how much I prayed, God did nothing.

My life hasn’t turned out the way I had hoped.

Others have gotten ahead of me and I resent that I’m not more talented, more positioned for success, more wealthy.

Trauma in my early years has left me struggling to trust, to hope, to love anyone and even God himself. I’ve shut down to protect myself.

I can’t remember the last time I was happy.

My experience of love in my formative years was conditioned on my good behavior or good grades. I never seem good enough for God. I can’t believe he would love me.

I pray but I don’t think God listens to me.

I think that God will come to punish me. I’m not even sure there is a place for me in heaven. I’m still worried about something I did when I was a teenager and if God has forgiven me.

Something similar lies at the root of both of these hypothetical lists.

Hurt.

The wounds we have sustained in life deeply affect us…at the level of the heart. We certainly get absorbed in the thoughts and memories and feelings that swirl within us on a conscious level. Just think of these hypothetical situations and all the drama that they create within a person and in relationships. Our small mind’s antics are just ways to distract us from the utter pain we each carry in some way in our deeper heart, pain from past wounds accumulated over the years.

Friend, I encourage you to hold that hurt and honor that wound. Know that deeper than the wound itself, however, is the spark of God’s in-pouring love that sustains your life on every level. We all have to struggle with the small-minded antics that get played out within us and which drive us then to act in small-minded ways. Hurt does that. The readings today, however, call us to look deeper. To actively seek to hold up the lamp in the dark begging for God to show us his face. To reveal how through all the pain we “in him are being built up into a dwelling-place of God in the Spirit.”

It begins with being aware of what is holding us back, what is small-minded and pain-filled and welcoming both the wound and the healing. As the wound heals, the light is released and the delicious joy of the wedding feast invades our life, pushing away the small-minded narrowness with the amazing discovery of Jesus’ promise: “In truth I tell you, he will do up his belt, sit them down at table and wait on them.”

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Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

May The Angels Lead You Into Paradise

Today is the feast of the Guardian Angels. The first thing that comes to mind for me, and probably for you, is the famous image of an angel protecting a child as he or she walks across a bridge. The Catechism of the Catholic Church speaks of “each believer” having a guardian angel, a special guardian from the time of baptism to accompany us through life. Benedict XVI in an Angelus Address on October 2, 2011 called guardian angels “ministers of the divine care for every human being. From the beginning until the hour of death, human life is surrounded by their constant protection.”

Therefore, on this feast, we are celebrating our faith in God’s enduring love and his providential care extended to us each and every day until life’s end. Some of the saints had the blessing to actually see their guardian angel. Whether we can see our angel or not, belief in the guardian angel who accompanies us through life is an act of faith in the God who accompanies us on our way through life and into eternity. We can pray to them for assistance, or we can simply speak with our angel as with a friend.

In the Gospel, Jesus states: “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always look upon the face of my heavenly Father.”

Our guardian angels remind us that our eternal home, the destination to which we are journeying under their protection, is heaven. Saint Bernard said that we have only to follow our angels, to stay close to them, and then at our death we shall dwell with them in heaven.

I never fail to be moved to tears at the end of the Funeral liturgy when those of us who remain on earth gather around the body of our dear sister and sing this farewell hymn from the Rite for Christian Burial:

“May the angels lead you into paradise;
may the martyrs come to welcome you
and take you to the holy city,
the new and eternal Jerusalem.”

Our guardian angel is a protector, a shepherd who leads us into life. In a way, when we are devoted to our guardian angel we are beginning on earth the life that will be ours in eternity when we will stand in the company of the angels singing with them to the glory to God.

Our veneration of the angels in heaven transforms our hearts in three ways:

  • It leads us to honor and respect ourselves and others who are watched over through the goodness of God by an angel from heaven. We and others are never alone. We and others are never outside of the watchful eye of this angel who sees everything.
  • It leads us to gratitude that God has given us a companion through life to enlighten us, defend us, guide us, and intercede for us, and ultimately to bring about our total dedication to God’s glory in our life.
  • It leads us to hope. The fact that everyone has a guardian angel reminds us that the history of the world is in God’s hands and that the angels who watch over us are at work in each person’s heart to turn them to truth, goodness and beauty, that they might make decisions that will allow God’s loving plan for the world to unfold.

Our guardian angels are always before the face of the Father. We can turn to our own guardian angel in every need, and we can always pray to the guardian angels of others. When someone needs a reminder, comfort, conversion, or strength, turn to their guardian angel because this heavenly minister is right beside this person wherever they are and in whatever situation they find themselves. When you cannot be near someone in need, their angel is always right there with them.

Contact the author

Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Before You Rest Your Head

 “The Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head…”

I don’t know about you but I am happy when I can lie down in my bed at night. I’m safe. I’m warm. I’ve eaten during the day…. And there is nothing wrong with that.

My heart, however, wonders at these words of Jesus.

“Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God.”

Jesus is not sugarcoating his expectations of those who would be his disciples. He asks for everything. To give up every security. Every excuse. To make a complete break with all loyalties and attachments that hinder our relationship with him being total, complete, entire.

“No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God.”

To follow Jesus we have to abandon everything that we have put into building up a “kingdom” that revolves around us in order to take up residence and to minister in God’s Kingdom.

What is this “everything” that we need to abandon? If we confine ourselves to the words and events presented in the Gospel today we can feel that we are pretty safe. We probably aren’t going to be asked to be homeless if we follow Jesus. If our parents are sick no one is going to begrudge us time off for caring for them, even if we are in full-time ministry. And as to saying good-bye to our family at home, we have a thousand ways of staying in contact now with them between texting and video calls, and watching their lives play out before us daily on our Facebook feeds. We probably won’t miss a minute of their lives even if we are a thousand miles away.

The call of the “all” woven into this Gospel reading can be unconsciously reduced to a problem that the people speaking to Jesus that day had to deal with.

So what is the “all” that we might be called to abandon in order to follow Christ?

In these days of protests and the struggle for racial justice and harmony Pope Francis gives us one direction where this “all” might actually force us into conversion if we wish to be Jesus’ disciple.

In his encyclical, Joy of the Gospel, he spends over twenty paragraphs reflecting on some of the challenges of today’s world (nos. 50-75). As I read these numbers I could feel Jesus pointing out the stark options I had before me if I wished to follow him:

“You need to say no to an economy of exclusion if you wish to follow me. Think about where you shop. What are your needs. What you can’t do without. Go first and say no to the new idolatry of money and then come and follow me. Those decisions that put money before people….employees, the disenfranchised, the people “in the way” of progress. The one who contributes to and profits from a financial system which rules rather than serves is not fit for the Kingdom of God. Only after committing yourself to counter policies that promote inequality and spawn violence, can you come and follow me.”

As I listen to these invitations in my heart, I begin to shift in my seat. This hits home much more than “he who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

The “cost” of following Christ today, the “all” that must be abandoned in order to be fit for the Kingdom of God is, in one way, the whole system we keep propped up—personally and as a society—to make sure that we are taken care of at the expense of others. The cost of being Christ’s disciple is detachment from prejudices, entitlement, wealth, prestige, fixing the system so we get ahead, carrying forward and acting out of polices which imprison individuals and peoples in situations of inequality, poverty, and violence, excluding others, turning a blind eye to those caught in the spiral of poverty so deep that they are excluded from the table….

We all know at least one of these situations. We might find it in our heart, in our families, in our parishes, in our cities, in our schools….

Now is the time to “put our hand to the plow” and make a decision to “say no” to systems that have formed us through our life, perhaps, but which now we know are so totally inadequate for life in the Kingdom. The world needs to take a giant leap forward in respecting the human dignity of each of God’s children.

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

So I may still go to sleep tonight, safely in my bed. But my heart has been disquieted by Jesus who calls me as his disciple to be the voice of love in this world, to choose humility, to repent of prejudice, to push others ahead of myself, praying that they will have more than I, determined to address any situation of inequality I encounter in my personal circle.

And you?

Contact the author

Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Seen by Jesus

“Herod the tetrarch heard about all that was happening,
and he was greatly perplexed…

…And he kept trying to see him.”

This line always makes me chuckle. I understand there was no possibility of connecting with Jesus on Zoom in first century Palestine. Herod couldn’t jump in the car and drive over to an evening seminar. Or follow Jesus on Facebook or Twitter. But, really, it couldn’t have been that hard for Herod to catch up with Jesus to see him.

If, that is, the king really wanted to be seen by Jesus.

Hearing others talk about Jesus. Thinking about him. Reading about the spiritual life. Attending a Bible study or book club. All these things are wonderful and can be important aspects of one’s spiritual journey. They are ways in which Jesus draws us closer to him, and begins to unify our flighty and fidgety senses and distracted thoughts around his gaze where we bask in a love we could never imagine.

Perhaps Herod was hoping to meet Jesus in order to prop up his own power and protect his own authority. He wasn’t really hoping to encounter Jesus in the way Zacchaeus did, or the Magdalene, or Peter, or the lepers. So maybe he didn’t try that hard. These others were men and women who had the desire and the capacity to enter into a sustained relationship with Jesus that was prolonged and deepened through time, that changed their lives, that taught them that indeed life comes and goes in the blink of an eye, as the Teacher and Ecclesiastes writes. The First Reading helps us reflect on life’s repetitiveness, its elusiveness, the shortness of our days on earth, the way in which things slip through our fingers and in the light of eternity are but a whisper in the wind. And thus to treasure the gift of knowing the Lord and being known by him.

These readings rouse my sleepy and distracted heart. I don’t want to be chasing vanities so that like Herod I miss out on the most important relationship that will be mine now and for all eternity. I want to see and be seen by the Lord.

In a world of enticing and exciting options for diversion and pleasure and power, our hearts have to be capable of true attention and concentration if we are not to get caught up in just trying to see Jesus. Simone Weil, the Jewish French philosopher saw this oneness of vision, the ability to keep our attention on one single task in the moment, as a spiritual practice. This practice gradually opens our deeper consciousness so that we learn to meet the gaze of Christ and live from his presence within. Here are four ways to unify the sometimes somewhat scattered way in which we pursue trying to see the Lord:

  1. Find 20 minutes each day for meditation. Read the Bible or a favorite spiritual book to lead you closer to the Lord.
  2. Practice doing one thing at a time. Put all your focus on what you are doing, staying in the present moment at least a couple times a day.
  3. Find some time each week to unplug from social media and turn off your phone.
  4. Ask Jesus what he’d like from you at this time in your life. Tell him that you want to see him.

Contact the author

Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Do Not Be Afraid

“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid…”

Right now I am afraid. Where I once had meaningful work, now I am in a liminal space where I can’t hide in what I do. The world is uncertain. The safety of loved ones is in jeopardy. And my emotions are on a roller coaster that I cannot understand no matter how much I try to stuff what is happening to me into some pre-made psychological explanation.

I’d love someone to talk to. Someone outside the situations in which I live where I could pour out my heart. I struggle with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and the radical emotional ups and downs that are part of the illness. I want to hide. Hide the shame of not having it all together. Hide the humiliation that comes with loss and replacement and transition. At story lines changed…. At personal images cracked…. At the uncertainty of how it will all turn out… At the weakness exposed in my surrender to the Lord…

These words, the images they evoke, the feelings they express are way larger than the situation I am living calls for. But everyone knows what it’s like when we can’t seem to fit what’s happening in our lives into the previous plan we’ve had for ourselves and others.

The Gospel today offers a lifeline for times such as these when they happen to us. Joseph was in such a dilemma. The plans he had made with Mary, the expectations, the idea he had of her and the image he had painted in his heart for the rest of his life suddenly no longer made sense in the face of the inexplicable and undeniable fact that Mary was with child.

It is part of our responsibility as adults to plan, to project the future, to prepare for it. We think we know who we are and what God is asking us to do and we do our best to make that happen. And at the very moment when we feel sure, secure, pleased with ourselves, the plans break down, mercifully so.

As beautiful as Joseph and Mary’s plans may have been, and they remain in the secret conversations they must have had, they were based on what they knew and wanted at the moment they made them, and on what they believed God wanted of them.

At our birth, however, God’s pristine plans for our good and his delight are imprinted in our destiny. Again and again I have to remind myself to let my plans go in order to let the eternally-desired destiny willed by God for me to unfold.

Today is the feast of the Nativity of Mary. There is a long venerable tradition since the sixth century of celebrating the birth of Mary, the mother of Jesus, the woman who, in the words of Augustine, “is the flower of the field from whom bloomed the precious lily of the valley.”

Joseph, at the words of the angel and the desire of God, dropped his plans and expected future in order to perfectly conform their life together to the mystery that had been inscribed in Mary since her conception.

“Joseph, son of David,
do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.
For it is through the Holy Spirit
that this child has been conceived in her.
She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus,
because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill
what the Lord had said through the prophet:

Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel
,

which means “God is with us.”

This saint chosen to play such a key role in the story of salvation solicitously looks after each of us as he looked after the Son of God. Joseph teaches us to sing the “Let it be as you will” in a patience that waits for the storm of emotions to subside, suffering to deepen into union, and love to raise us up in spirit. The solitude and slowly transformative work of grace in these difficult situations carve out our greatness of spirit.

So today, if you are wondering what your life is meant to be—or that of someone else you care about—if carefully laid plans or self-images are falling apart, look back to the moment of creation and birth. The Trinity sang a song over you, has a plan for you, desired you, delights in you even now and will forever. The breaking apart of all we think should be is often the divine path back to the source of our own beauty, call, and happiness.

Ask Mary and Joseph for the courage to say your own Fiat—Let it be….

Contact the author

Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Unless You Become As Little Children…

Today’s Gospel reading can be summed up in this warning: “Beware the paparazzi!” Of course, 99% of us aren’t that high profile that we have to worry about a crowd of photographers chasing after us to document our every move in order to sell the photos to media outlets for thousands of dollars. Instead we have interior paparazzi in our hearts. We snap virtual photos of us in the form of memories that we hold up like mirrors in order to admire ourselves.

“Just look at me!” “Wasn’t that good of me to do?” “See how I dealt with that situation?” “How holy I look when I’m praying….”

Is everyone noticing me?

The scribes and Pharisees had fallen into the danger that is ever-present for anyone who sincerely wants to be a good person. As Simon Tugwell, OP put it, “The danger with our good works, our spiritual accomplishments, and all the rest of it, is that we shall construct out of them a picture of ourselves in which, effectively, we shall situate our happiness. Complacency in ourselves will then replace delight in God.”

One can imagine individuals to whom Jesus is referring going home at night gazing at their own contentment, reliving every inch of footage from the day, admiring themselves from every angle.

“All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor…and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’”

Jesus advises the crowds to turn their attention away from themselves and from authorities on this earth who can look at us approvingly and mentor, shape, and guide our lives to God in their own images.

You have only one Father in heaven. You have but one master, the Christ.

If our eyes are on our Father, we re-assume our proper place before him as creature. “The greatest among you must be your servant.”

It is little children who do not self-consciously admire themselves as they carry on the drama of their lives. The “scribes and the Pharisees” and anyone who keeps the interior paparazzi busily snapping self-conscious images want to keep themselves in the picture. They want to get something. They want to become something for their own benefit. They want to buy their way into eternal life.

It is as children that we remain before the Father, students before the Master, humble servants before our brothers and sisters.

Contact the author

Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

The Lot Marked Out For Me Is My Delight

The lot marked out for me is my delight. This was a passage from Psalm 16 that was written on a piece of paper given to me in a meeting around the year 1996.

For the past almost twenty-five years, this simple verse of scripture has kept me wondering about the mystery of life, the wonder of choosing one’s stance toward life’s events that can bring both joy and pain.

How can we find delight in situations that have been “marked out for us”?

How can we find our joy in forsaking our own way in order to delight in what we end up with in the seemingly random events that direct the outcome of who we are and what we have in life?

In other words, how can we be happy being the clay, when our frightened grasping selves would be happier, we presume, if we were ourselves were the potter?

The image of the potter and the potter’s wheel appears through scripture, an apt and beautiful expression of God’s faithful, tender, loving action in our lives.

When Jeremiah went down to the potter’s house, what did he see? The ancient potter would scrape the clay from the earth, and throwing it on the ground would trample on it. He would soften the brittle and resistant clay with water and knead it until it softened into a paste. This kneaded clay would be slapped firmly onto the center of his potter’s wheel, which was a flat disk mounted on a rod. By holding the clay as the wheel turned and manipulating it with his fingers and palms, the potter would transform the lump of clay into a vessel, any vessel of his choosing.

We are the clay, not the pot but the clay. In process. Being formed, shaped, reformed,  transformed.

If we are the clay under the expert work of the divine Potter, we can be sure that he intends to do something with us and in us. We are beautiful to him. We have a purpose. We have a meaning in life that brings him joy. We are a part of his great plan.

Life’s sorrows and burdens are the trampling that brings forth the tears that soften the clay. Even the moments of pain are part of the process of becoming.

The clay has no idea what the Potter is trying to create. It yields itself completely to the expert and loving kneading of the One who envisions for it the fullness of life.

After the clay has been pushed and prodded and pulled and shaped on the potter’s wheel, it was baked in a kiln, a special furnace that might easily reach 2700°F. Different types of pots require different types of heat. The divine Potter, like any good potter, doesn’t arbitrarily submit the clay pot to a degree of heat that is beyond the endurance of the vessel. No vessel receives more heat than it needs. The most beautiful clay pots require the greatest heat. The most beautiful souls are often those who have suffered the most and have become kind, gentle, and courageously loving in the process.

The divine Potter never gives up on the clay. He is endlessly inventive and creative.

When I think of how solicitously the divine Potter has bent over me as he transforms my life into the beautiful life he has had in mind for me from all eternity, I can absolutely cry out, “The lot marked out for me is my delight.”

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Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey.

Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com

Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/

For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community:
https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Liminal Spaces

As Jesus got into a boat, his disciples followed him. Suddenly a violent storm came upon the sea so that the boat was being swamped by waves, but he was asleep. They came and woke him…

Following Jesus can lead us to places where things get out of control, where our emotions feel like a violent storm and our thoughts threaten to capsize our sanity.

Jesus will bring us to liminal spaces. The word “liminal” is derived from the Latin word “limens,” which means threshold. When you find yourself in a liminal space, you are quite literally standing on the threshold between one room and another, one stage of your life and another, one reality and another.

Liminal spaces are disorienting. These fishermen who were quite familiar with having weathered storms before are suddenly disoriented and terrified. More than a potential watery death, this storm at sea is the middle stage of moving from one state to another.

Today’s reading is from chapter 8 of Matthew. In the fourth chapter, there is excitement running through every line. Jesus was calling his disciples and they left everything on the spot to follow him. Great crowds joined an accompanied him as he cured the sick who were brought to him and freed those possessed by demons. In chapters 5 through 7, we listen to Jesus speak to our hearts a new way of life in the Sermon on the Mount. In the first part of chapter 8 before the storm on the lake, Jesus encounters deeply humble people:

  • a leper who approached him and prostrated himself with the words, “if you willing, you can cure me,” and Jesus stretched out his hand,
  • the centurion who begged Jesus to heal his servant boy, stating that Jesus had but to say the word since he understood that Jesus’ spoke with authority and had the power to do as he asked,
  • Peter’s mother-in-law who doesn’t even ask to be healed, but who silently receives this gift and silently serves his needs.

Next, appear disciples who start putting conditions on their following Jesus: “I will accompany you…”; “let me bury my father first.”

And finally this storm at sea where the apostles need to make the transition from human excitement over the amazing life ahead of them as friends of this wonder-working rabbi to deeply humble disciples who have touched their absolute need for Jesus in a very scary situation.

Haven’t we all found ourselves in such a place? A divorce, financial disaster, a pandemic, illness, family difficulties, job loss, emotional problems, the discovery that we are not, and may never be who we thought we were and hoped we would become.

Jesus was in the boat with them and he is with us. He is just waiting for us to cry out to him from the middle of whatever liminal space we are in. Sometimes I think all of mid-life is a succession of these transitional thresholds that resemble the storm at sea. When the apostles cried out, Jesus immediately got up and quieted the storm. He was already there with them the whole time. The amazing gift of this miraculous calming of the waters leads not to the apostles feeling relief but to the intense need to fall at Jesus’ feet in a new type of amazement…in worship.

Being in a liminal state or place can be unsettling. It certainly feels uncomfortable. But if we open up to it, it can be the threshold to a new union with Jesus, to the dream he has for us, to an absolute conviction of God’s close tenderness in our every need.

Contact the author


Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey.

Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com
Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/
For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

The Narrow Gate

The narrow gate. So narrow only the few find it.

When I hear those words my heart sinks. It’s the few. The smart. The strong. The brave. The good. The extra good. The virtuous. The contemplative souls. The self-sacrificing hearts.

That’s not me. Not me…again.

The narrow path makes me think I need to find it. And when I find it I need to stay on it.

But we all know what happens when we are walking on narrow paths.

We step off the path, or fall off the path.

We get so absorbed in staying on the path that we miss the flowers along the way. We forget who we are walking toward and who is walking at our side.

We get curious and take a bit of a detour, or a long detour. Maybe we turn back because it is frighteningly narrow at certain points.

When I look at my life I have to admit, that’s me.

And if the gate is narrow, we need to be thin, small, unencumbered, simple to fit through in order to get where we want to go.

We have to be so careful for the evil one can feed us so many lies that lead to desolation and depression. Lies like: You aren’t good enough. God can’t love you now after this. See you can’t make up for time lost on this or that detour. Admit it, this happened because God is angry with you.

Friends, what if the narrow path was meant to be a joyous announcement, not a moral measure?

Perhaps Jesus was saying:

“Yes the path is narrow, so narrow you can’t find it or stay on it yourself. In fact, I already know that.

“The narrowness of the path is not a measure of how perfectly you find or stay on some spiritual trajectory you’ve chosen through life.

“The narrowness is about those who come to realize, through the struggles and failures of their attempts to live in my love, that they need me.

“Because they realize they are helpless.

“And are willing to trust entirely in what I am doing in and through them, even when they see only their sins and failures. The narrowness is the blessing of those who, layer by layer, let go of all they think they need, or want, to be happy.”

Since your Baptism, God has been unfolding within you his life, his way, his Word in us. Taking you along his unique path for you.

It is only gradually that we are taught, mentored, led along, brought back after wandering, personally carried if necessary, broken and rebuilt, renewed, recreated.

Only Jesus knows that narrow path, and only he can carry us on it. It is so narrow there is no room for two. He brings us along in his arms, within his heart, offering us at last to the Father as the greatest treasure of his love, as brother, as sister, as co-heir, as son and daughter of the Father.

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Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey.

Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com

Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/

For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

It is the Spirit Who Does Everything in All Of Us

They were all in one place together….

“All.”

As I read the account of the first Pentecost: the appearance of tongues of fire, the wind that swept through the streets of Jerusalem, the curiosity of the crowds, their amazement that all could understand the apostles in their own language, I understood for the first time how the word “all” is a word of healing.

We rarely experience all of us being moved together by the Spirit.

Fragmented divisiveness is more the norm even unfortunately in the Church. Who’s better than others. Who’s right and who’s wrong. Who’s in and who’s out. Who’s ready to move ahead and who’s fearful. Who’s great idea will predominate.

“All.”

The apostles and women with Mary the mother of Jesus were all in one place together.

The wind filled the entire house.
Tongues of fire rested on each one of them.
All were filled with the Holy Spirit.
All heard the apostles in their native language.

The apostles, stirred to the courageous prophetic proclamation, proclaimed “the mighty acts of God.” The Spirit, according to St Paul, produces all gifts and ministries in each person. The Spirit pushed them out to proclaim what God was accomplishing in their midst with amazement and wonder and gratitude, with an invitation to the people to be a part of this great work that was not their own.

How do we let the Spirit lead us today in such a powerful way?

I think the Veni Sancte Spiritus, the sequence for this day, gives us a clue.

Light immortal, Light divine,
Visit Thou these hearts of Thine,
And our inmost being fill.
If Thou take Thy grace away,
Nothing pure in man will stay;
All his good is turned to ill.
Heal our wounds; our strength renew;
On our dryness pour Thy dew;
Wash the stains of guilt away.
Bend the stubborn heart and will;
Melt the frozen, warm the chill;
Guide the steps that go astray.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veni_Sancte_Spiritus

The Veni Sancte Spiritus allows us to claim in peace our own helplessness. It is the Spirit who does everything, who initiates everything. Sometimes I act like the Spirit is around to rubber stamp my plans. But this is not what we see on that first Pentecost morning. The Spirit healed their wounds, renewed their strength, poured dew on their dry bones, washed away the stained of their guilt, bent their heart and will to the voice of the Master, and guided their steps from that point forward.

The tiny group waiting for they knew not what in the Upper Room after the Ascension had Mary at their sides who no doubt spoke to them about the moment of the Annunciation when the Holy Spirit came upon her. She counseled them perhaps to trust that they would know when the Spirit had come and that to the end of their lives they would be led by this Spirit that had penetrated their hearts and taken on the direction of the Church through the daily guidance of their individual lives together.

There are four important ways to remove the clutter in our minds and hearts that fills them with chaos and blocks our obedience to the Spirit as we seek God’s guidance in a decision going forward:

Don’t demand closure to quickly.
Don’t have a predetermined goal before you ask the Spirit’s help.
Don’t reduce the scope of what is possible to what you can handle right now.
Don’t make it about you.

If each of us moved out of our own way, slowed down, and learned the waiting that is part of every Pentecost of the Spirit, we might be amazed at the way God uses us to proclaim the “mighty acts of God” to the world today.

Contact the author


Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey.

Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com

Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/

For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

We Can Always Gamble On God’s Mercy

Today’s Gospel gives hope to the heart of any parent, to any of us really. Any creature who is desperately in distress, as this woman was, can gamble on the mercy of God and win. 

This woman walked from the Gentile district of Tyre to meet Jesus in order to submit to him her desperate need. This Canaanite woman had a daughter possessed by a demon, and she was pleading for his help. The depths of the despair of the human heart can be touched most easily in the frightened pleas of a parent begging God for a child’s life. This one mother’s anxiety for her child, as recounted in the Gospel of Mark, stands in stark contrast to the 23 verses that preceded it. In these earlier verses, the Pharisees also had come to Jesus, but their purpose was to gather around him and quibble about how the disciples kept the law. For them, Jesus was not their healer, their Savior. He was someone who had to prove his authority to them, to measure up to their expectations, to fit into their religious understanding. Theirs was a calculated relationship that held Jesus at arm’s length, a dance devoid of love and intimacy.

But this woman from the district of Tyre was not a Jew. She was not a believer. She was a Gentile, a pagan. Her story leaps from the pages of Scripture to assure us that Jesus’ heart is by nature, attuned to his creature’s cry of distress. He led this woman on a gentle journey toward a loving tryst. She searches for him and finds him even in the place where he was trying to escape notice. She risked rejection as she approached this Jewish healer whom she had probably heard stories about. She was willing to fall at his feet to beg him for help for her daughter. This anxious mother didn’t come with a demand or an argument why Jesus should help her. She simply threw herself on his mercy, trusting that a mother’s plea for her child would move this teacher who himself had a mother.

Jesus is moved by our humanity, a humanity that he took up when the Word became flesh. Everyone who makes desperate intercession for another can trust that the heart of Jesus will be moved as it was for this Canaanite mother. 

Even though she presented her request to Jesus with the audacious and visceral faith that seemed almost to twist God’s arm, she remained at his feet in humble homage, in submission. And it was by this confident humility that she won his heart. God wants to be overcome by us. He wants to say, “I can no longer resist you. Be it done as you say.” He desires that every intercessory prayer be a moment of greater intimacy with him. 

Take with you today this mother’s courage. Where do you need a miracle? Where do you or a loved one need saving? Where are you in complete dependence on God with no other recourse? Like her leave behind your fear, take up your heart’s courage, and cast your cares upon the Lord. Do not debate with yourself or doubt, but set out. Bow down before the One who is the center, who is God’s loving tenderness on earth seeking to make us truly and forever happy.

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Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey.

Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com

Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/

For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Thank You, God, For In-Between Spaces

“I am a Jew, born in Tarsus in Cilicia… [I was] brought up… [I was] educated strictly in our ancestral law… I persecuted the Way to death…” Thus Paul tells his story.

We are who we are as adults because of who we were as kids. Our habits, attitudes, and beliefs are often rooted in what we learned before we were three, what we heard, what we experienced, the values of those who cared for us. Imperceptibly we were shaped and formed by those who loved us, certainly, but who also were struggling with their own inner issues. Their own demons. We bear each other’s burdens.

Today I sit at meals still struggling to engage, carrying forward attitudes and habits from long ago. And so did Paul. His persecution of the Way was a faithful carrying out of his strict education on the ancestral law.

On the way to Damascus, Paul was leaving Jerusalem behind. He was leaving his native territory. His friends. His memories. The network of relationships, expectations, and boundaries that had defined him. He walked outside what was certain and at the same time Jesus was coming toward Paul. Jesus had summoned Paul mysteriously through Paul’s own plans to persecute the members of the Way. And in the liminal space between Jerusalem and his planned appointment in Damascus, in the place of vulnerability, Paul and Jesus encountered one another. 

The strict adherent to ancestral law discovered that Jesus was, as his followers had claimed, alive. In some way, by hurting his followers he was hurting Jesus. 

Jesus called Paul further into the in-between-space where transformation can be initiated. Paul lost his sight on the outskirts of Damascus, lay in bed for three days in a desert-dependence on the God who had reached out to grasp his heart and then had plunged him through the hands of Ananias into the baptismal dying and rising in which Paul left his very self behind. Not just his plans. Not just his agency and protagonism. But his self. His old self. In what he would describe in Ephesians as “the lifestyle of the ancient man, the old self – life, which was corrupted by sinful and deceitful desires that spring from delusions” (Eph. 4:22 TPT).

Jesus is already walking toward you. Be certain that when you are drawn into that liminal no man’s land where you lose your sure footing before the God who reveals himself to you in some way, that you are on the Pauline path of conversion. 

Be sure that you will, like Paul, lose the clarity and certainty of being able to see through the filters firmly in place through a lifetime of reinforced belief. You will lose your power and as you walk through a desert you will have no way forward except what God will give you. You will lose the illusions of your old self. Your values will be refashioned, your priorities will change, your plans will be torn up. Heart will replace the violence of forcing on the world around you the stories that have shaped you since childhood’s early experiences. Your inner being will be renewed.

I love the way St Paul put it in the letter to the Ephesians:

“If you have really experienced the Anointed One, and heard his truth, it will be seen in your life; for we know that the ultimate reality is embodied in Jesus!

And he has taught you to let go of the lifestyle of the ancient man, the old self – life, which was corrupted by sinful and deceitful desires that spring from delusions. Now it’s time to be made new by every revelation that’s been given to you. And to be transformed as you embrace the glorious Christ-within as your new life and live in union with him! For God has re-created you all over again in his perfect righteousness, and you now belong to him in the realm of true holiness” (Eph. 4:21-24 TPT).

Today is the only day in the liturgical year that we celebrate the feast of the conversion of a saint. That day, and Paul’s response, were pivotal to civilization and Christianity from that day to what one day will be the end of the world. That’s how powerful a conversion is! 

Jesus is walking towards you, calling you out from your net of attitudes, thought-patterns and security into his arms because Jesus wants to send you, as he did Paul, to proclaim that you have met him and been transfixed by the love of his heart.

In this space of the heart’s being discovered we find re-creation, new life in union with Jesus, and true holiness.

Contact the author


Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey.

Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com

Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/

For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.