Often my prayer resembles the words spoken by the boy’s father in Mark’s Gospel, who has come to beg the Lord to heal his son, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us” (Mark 9:22). And in my heart, not only do I hear Jesus’ gentle and kind response, “‘If you can!’ everything is possible to one who has faith,” but I also cry out like the boy’s father cried out, “I do believe, help my unbelief” (Mark 9:14-29)!
I do believe and trust Jesus can help, most of the time, but part of me constantly wrestles with surrender. I am often a woman of little faith that craves signs and wonders to help me believe. In boldness, embracing Jesus’ teaching to ask and it will be given to you (Matthew 7:7), I request oddly specific signs, so there are no lingering doubts. Remarkably, in His mercy, these harbingers and wonders often appear.
I love the Rosary, especially the 54-Rosary Novena devotion. A few years ago, the Spirit nudged me outside to pray. At first, I assumed it was to keep me away from the distractions of my desk, home, and phone. However, the Spirit was about to reveal a much bigger plan. Since I live on a busy street, I decided to do laps around the perimeter of my yard—think Joshua (and friends) and the Walls of Jericho (Joshua 6).
As I made my last circuit, in knots about the current state of my life, I looked to heaven and aired my grievances. “Lord, what do you want from me? I never miss Sunday Mass, and I diligently pray the Rosary. I have even given my life to telling people how awesome you are, and this is my reward? A life overflowing with many hardships — illness, death, financial difficulties, and family discord! Again, Lord, I ask, what do you want from me?”
As I completed the behind-the-house leg of my Rosary journey that day and turned to face the highway that runs along the front of my home, a tractor-trailer passing by caught my attention. On the side of the truck, in giant red letters, was the word — FIDELITY!
Fidelity? Really, Lord! The fancy Latin-rooted word, which not so coincidentally means faithfulness, had to be an answer to my cry of distress. Is that what you want? How could I ignore the timing of the truck’s appearance? Only God could arrange the precision of that moment. Furthermore, after twenty years of traffic watching along that same highway, this was the truck’s first appearance!
My trust grew exponentially from that god-incidence moment; the world would see this situation as a coincidence, but I knew it to be heaven reaching through the veil to assure me everything is possible with faith. Just be faithful; I can do that, Lord. I will continue to pray, hope, and wait on you — one Rosary bead at a time. Lord, I believe, thank you for shining into my life to help my unbelief.
Allison Gingras works for WINE: Women In the New Evangelization as National WINE Steward of the Virtual Vineyard. She is a Social Media Consultant for the Diocese of Fall River and CatholicMom.com. She is a writer, speaker, and podcaster, who founded ReconciledToYou.com and developed the Stay Connected Journals for Catholic Women (OSV).
Feature Image Credit: Jornada Mundial de la Juventud, https://www.cathopic.com/photo/13057-rosario-mano
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Kathryn Mulderink, MA, is married to Robert, Station Manager for Holy Family Radio. Together they have seven children (including Father Rob), and four grandchildren. She is President of the local community of Secular Discalced Carmelites and has published five books and many articles. Over the last 30 years, she has worked as a teacher, headmistress, catechist, Pastoral Associate, and DRE, and as a writer and voice talent for Catholic Radio. Currently, she serves the Church by writing and speaking, and by collaborating with various parishes and to lead others to encounter Christ and engage their faith. Her website is
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Tami Urcia grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. She loves tackling projects, finding fun ways to keep her little ones occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby and finding unique ways to love. She works at her parish, is a guest blogger on

Emily Jaminet is a Catholic author, speaker, radio personality, wife, and mother of seven children. She earned a bachelor’s degree in mental health and human services from the Franciscan University of Steubenville. She is the co-founder of
Susan Ciancio has a BA in psychology and a BA in sociology from the University of Notre Dame, with an MA in liberal studies from Indiana University. For the past 17 years, she has worked as a professional editor and writer, editing both fiction and nonfiction books, magazine articles, blogs, educational lessons, professional materials and website content. Eleven of those years have been in the pro-life sector. Currently Susan freelances and writes weekly for HLI, edits for American Life League, and is the editor of Celebrate Life Magazine. She also serves as executive editor for the Culture of Life Studies Program-an educational nonprofit program for K-12 students.
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