There are days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed, and depression often makes me feel like there is an elephant on top of me. I take medication, but there are still days when everything seems difficult. I even get to the point where I don’t feel like praying in the morning. But as a stay-at-home dad, I don’t have the luxury of staying in bed and doing nothing because I have to do housework and teach my homeschooled children. Even during the summer, I have to make sure my children get exercise so they get some Vitamin D and stay healthy.
On those difficult days, I try not to give up and I contemplate the cross and how Jesus died for us, sacrificing his own life. This gives me the strength to get up and make that sacrifice for my family and the people around me. As hard as it is for me to smile, I try to make everyone happy so that they have a better day than what I am having. When I say my daily prayers, I always receive a message that gives me extra encouragement to keep going. It’s difficult, but not impossible.
I confess that the suffering of depression makes me long for heaven. Today’s Gospel speaks about being ready. It says, “Blessed are those servants whom the master finds vigilant on his arrival.” Even if I don’t feel ready to get up, or take care of my children, or cook, this is what I must do in preparation for the Lord’s arrival. Even if I don’t feel like washing clothes, or teaching, or disciplining, this is what I must do to stay awake. Because at any hour, at that blessed hour, my Savior will come for me, and blessed will I be.
No matter how difficult the days are, and even though I may have negative thoughts, there is always a better tomorrow—a morning when God is waiting with open arms to tell me something new. For example, today Saint Paul tells us, “how much more did the grace of God and the gracious gift of the one man Jesus Christ overflow for the many.” That encourages me not to give up, and I invite you not to give up either, even if you don’t see a quick fix for your problems.
God is the solution to our difficulties. He will lead us to “eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” That doesn’t mean we should sit back and do nothing. We have to do our part to seek possible solutions and discern which one will work. But ultimately, it is God who gives us life, and with His help, we can all move forward, whether it be from depression or any other situation that may weigh us down.
Hay días que no tengo ganas de levantarme de la cama y muchas veces la depresión me hace sentirme cómo si tuviera un elefante encima mio. Tomo medicamento pero tengo días cuando todo lo veo difícil. Hasta llega un momento que no me dan ganas de rezar por las mañanas. Pero siendo papá en casa no puedo darme ese lujo de quedarme en la cama y rendirme, porque hay que hacer las tareas del hogar, ser profesor para mis hijos que son homeschoolers. Incluso en temporada de verano hay que hacer ejercicio con mis hijos para que tomen la vitamina D y se mantengan saludables.
En esos días difíciles, trato de no rendirme y contemplo la cruz y cómo Jesús murió por nosotros sacrificando su propia vida. Eso me da fortaleza para levantarme y hacer ese sacrificio para mi familia y las personas que me rodean. Por más que me cuesta sonreír, trato que todos estén contentos para que tengan un mejor día a lo que siento por dentro. Al hacer las oraciones del día, siempre recibo un mensaje que me da un aliento más para seguir adelante. Es difícil, pero no imposible.
Confieso que el sufrimiento de la depresión me hace anhelar el cielo. El Evangelio de hoy habla del hecho de estar listos. Dice, “Dichosos aquellos a quienes su señor, al llegar, encuentre en vela”. Aunque no me sienta listo para levantarme, ni para atender a mis hijos, ni para cocinar, eso es lo que me toca hacer en preparación para la llegada de mi Señor. Aunque no me den ganas de lavar, ni enseñar ni disciplinar, eso es lo que tengo que hacer para estar en vela. Porque a cualquier hora, a esa dichosa hora, mi Salvador vendrá por mí, y dichoso seré.
Por más que los días sean difíciles, y hasta puedo llegar a pensar negativamente, siempre hay un mejor mañana – una mañana cuando Dios me está esperando con los brazos abiertos para decirme algo nuevo. Por ejemplo, hoy día san Pablo nos dice, “por el don de un solo hombre, Jesucristo, se han desbordado sobre todos la abundancia de la vida y la gracia de Dios!” Eso me anima a no rendirme y te invito a que tampoco te rindas, aunque no veas una salida pronta a tus problemas.
Dios es la solución a nuestras dificultades. El va a “conducirnos a la vida eterna por medio de Jesús”. Eso no quiere decir que hay que quedarnos con los brazos cruzados. Tenemos que poner de nuestra parte para buscar posibles soluciones y discernir cual de ellas funcionará. Pero al fin de cuentas, es Dios quien nos da la vida, y con la ayuda de Él todos podemos salir adelante, ya sea de la depresión o de cualquier otra situación que nos pesa.
Felix Urcia was born in Lima, Peru. He moved the U.S. to complete his college degree in Computer Science at Northern Kentucky University. He is passionate about his faith, his family, education and soccer. When he is not homeschooling and caring for his young children he enjoys personal programing projects and sports analysis. He and wife live in a small town in Western Michigan where they enjoy spending time with their five children.
Feature Image Credit: Christiaan Huynen, unsplash.com/photos/grey-pathway-between-trees-during-daytime-aso1_2egzxc
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