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Does Jesus Hold Back?

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What a wonderful way to start the day by remembering Angela Merici. She was a very special lady that lived in the 16th century. She was born in Italy and was orphaned at an early age and was sent to live with her uncle. When she turned 20, she moved back to her hometown of Desenzeno where she gathered her first group of girls and taught them the Catechism. Angela was the first woman to do such a thing. Later she founded a group of virgins called the Company of Saint Ursula in 1536. Why is this important? Because, one of my daughters, the one that is in charge of this blog site, attended an Ursuline college in Owensboro, KY. Instead of catechizing girls, she and her husband are forming their four little boys to be saints. 

Angela Merici must have read today’s Gospel since she was passionate about teaching the girls the Good News and the teachings of the Church. She also believed that the person receiving catechesis should be shown interest, gentleness, and persuasiveness rather than force. She believed that the home is the best place to learn about God and the Church. She also believed that if the country was not doing well, then the family was not doing well. Wow, how true!

Jesus admits that he holds back the mysteries of God from those who do not follow him. How best to follow him than to be taught at a young age the Word of God in Bible stories and teachings of the Church? What about us adults? Is just going to church on Sunday enough to receive some answers about the mysteries of God?  I feel The Lord is asking for more, much more. This last year has been clouded by what we have been asked to do because of COVID-19. We have discovered that being cooped up for months has not been good for our spiritual, mental and physical health. I have been surprised at how much it has affected me. I am a social kind of guy. Not seeing my friends and neighbors on a regular basis has had a negative effect on me. It seems to have stolen some of my joy. It made me realize that my real joy comes from the Lord. I wish I would have done a better job at filling that non-social time with more prayer to deepen my love and relationship with the Lord. I am attempting to do that now. 

Now, back to children.  I have always been amazed by how children are like sponges, eager to hear about Jesus.  If you have young children and have been negligent in reading books to them, try this: grab a book written for children that has a Bible story in it. You will have to multitask for this. Read this story slowly and with some emotion and try to catch glimpses of the child’s face as you are reading. You will be amazed at what you see in that child’s face. You will receive a great gift and so will the child. 

Also, today is my wife’s birthday. If you can, please lift up a prayer for her, she will love the grace!

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Deacon Dan Schneider is a retired general manager of industrial distributors. He and his wife Vicki recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They are the parents of eight children and twenty-nine grandchildren. He has a degree in Family Life Education from Spring Arbor University. He was ordained a Permanent Deacon in 2002.  He has a passion for working with engaged and married couples and his main ministry has been preparing couples for marriage.

Featured Image Credit: Dimitri Conejo Sanz, https://www.cathopic.com/photo/376-nino-con-biblia-

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Our Families and God’s Family

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Families are messy. From the outside, a family can appear ideal but underneath it all, every family, even the one that seems perfect, has issues by virtue of the fact that all families are comprised of humans and we are a messy bunch.

It seems every family I know has that one person who creates drama or that one who is quite different from the others. A large family can absorb this and still function well; a smaller family feels the ripples of the sheep who doesn’t fit well with the rest of the flock. To be fair, the friends of that sheep probably feel bad for that sheep being subjected to such a family and wonder how that sheep made it through so well. Messy.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus declares that whoever does the will of God is his brother, sister, and mother (Mk 3:35). This is good news! We are invited into the greatest of all families – God’s family. And while it is filled with some rogue sheep, it’s okay because God is our Father, Mary is our mother, and Jesus is our brother. Here in this family we are beloved daughters and sons. We are wanted. We are valued. We are adored.

God created each of us with intention and purpose and he has a plan that includes us. In this family we don’t need to worry about being hurt or forgotten. Many of us have been hurt by our earthly families. Our sinful nature causes us to wound those we love. Perhaps you have a parent who was abusive, withheld love or was overly critical. Perhaps you have a sibling with whom you fought and had a competitive relationship. 

This lived experience of family can make it hard to trust God’s family and your place in it. If your relationship with your earthly father was strained, it could be hard to accept that God the Father isn’t the same. If your earthly mother was judgmental, it can be difficult to imagine Mary opening her mantle for you and interceding on your behalf. But, God is the perfect father who loves without limits. He is love and he created us in love. Mary is the perfect mother who desires to point you toward her Son, Jesus, the brother who doesn’t break your stuff or tattle on you. 

These things are truths. They may be hard to grasp and accept but if you take them to prayer and tell your Heavenly Father what is difficult for you, he will help you open your heart to your valued place in his family.

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Merridith Frediani’s perfect day includes prayer, writing, unrushed morning coffee, reading, tending to dahlias, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids.  She loves finding God in the silly and ordinary.  She writes for Ascension Press, Catholic Mom, and her local Catholic Herald in Milwaukee. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Eucharistic Adoration is expected to be released summer 2021. You can reach her at merridith.frediani@gmail.com

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Our Damascus Events

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One of my favorite images of the Conversion of St. Paul is found in the Apostolic Palace and is pictured here. It was painted by Michelangelo between 1542 and 1546. January 25 is a big deal for us Daughters of St Paul. St Paul’s conversion is the only conversion celebrated liturgically and it is such a powerful day for us who try to live the experience of St Paul in intimate prayer and courageous evangelization. For this to happen in our own lives, we too need to go through a Damascus event as did Paul.

At the center of our spirituality is Christ, and his desire to possess us entirely. Every thought pattern and attitude and tendency of our personality. Every desire, preference, behavior…. Everything without exception. This is quite different from making New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of January! In the Conversion of St. Paul it is Christ who comes to meet Paul where he is, in his frailty (although Paul thought he was someone important doing something significant).

There are several aspects of this painting of St. Paul’s conversion by Michelangelo which attract me very deeply. At the top of the image, which doesn’t appear here, is the person of Christ reaching down to Paul through a column of light. There are many people milling around in this image, but Paul is clearly the one who is addressed by Jesus. And Paul is the one who must take responsibility, take the risk, and answer. Isn’t it that way with us, in our unique call from the Lord?

Another aspect of this image which attracts me is the way Paul is almost held by one of the characters in the image. The circular image that is created by the arms of the person reaching down to him, as well as the position of Paul’s body, is almost soft, receptive, intimate. This is not Caravaggio’s strong blinded Paul fallen from his horse. This is a Paul who is being drawn into the mystery of God’s plan for his life and the way God will use Paul to announce the Gospel to the world. It was absolutely moving for me to pray in front of this painting in the Apostolic Palace in the Vatican a couple of years ago, and to see on the other side of the chapel the depiction of the crucifixion of St. Peter. Two men who were flawed and frail and human who allowed God to do with them all that he desired. 

This is what God desires for you and me. We too have our Damascus events. They aren’t as stunning as what we call the conversion of St. Paul, but they can be nonetheless life-changing. I include here a prayer of our community which reflects on the challenge of our own Damascus events.

Light and darkness,

sight and blindness,

power and weakness,

control and surrender.

The “Damascus event” in Paul’s life is often played out in my own,

though in a less dramatic manner.

Lord Jesus, I meet you in so many ways:

sometimes in silence and prayer,

or by stumbling to the ground of my existence.

As I journey through the days of my life,

stop me,

call out my name,

send me your dazzling light,

and take hold of me as you took hold of Paul.

Even when I kick against the goad,

even when I lack courage or when fatigue overtakes me,

even when I fall again or lose my way—

in all these moments I trust that you are with me

and that your grace is sufficient for me.

Like Paul, let me know how to be companioned by others,

allowing myself to be led by those who can point out the way to you.

Help me to be willing to listen to what you are saying to me through them.

As you sent Paul on mission, I ask that you send me forth,

to those persons with whom I am to share your Gospel.

Give me, like you gave Paul, the words and gestures

that will reveal your mercy to me,

and the love you bear for every person you have redeemed.

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Sr. Kathryn J. HermesKathryn James Hermes, FSP, is the author of the newly released title: Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments, by Pauline Books and Media. An author and spiritual mentor, she offers spiritual accompaniment for the contemporary Christian’s journey towards spiritual growth and inner healing. She is the director of My Sisters, where people can find spiritual accompaniment from the Daughters of St. Paul on their journey. Website: www.touchingthesunrise.com Public Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/srkathrynhermes/ For monthly spiritual journaling guides, weekly podcasts and over 50 conferences and retreat programs join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/srkathryn.

Feature Image Credit: Michelangelo, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

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Teach Me Your Ways, O Lord

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In this Sunday’s readings, three particular lines stand out to me. 

In the First Reading, “Teach me your ways, O Lord.” Too commonly do we rely on our own understanding, failing to place our trust in Him, particularly in the more difficult times. Yet even in the simpler tasks of day-to-day life, we can also forget to ask for His help and guidance. Can we take a moment now to reflect on this request, always trying to learn from our Lord, regardless of whether circumstances are easier or harder?

In the second, “The world in its present form is passing away.” Just prior, this passage speaks of those using the world as not using it fully. Or rather, I think we often again are too distracted by some parts of the world in place of others. In a recent Kindergarten science class, the discussion of the word “naturalistic” came up. The man-made advances of technology for example, often hide us from the beauty God has given us through nature. But more so is that we are distracted by even each other’s ways rather than God’s ways for us. We fear death and what is to come after this life. Why? For if we truly love God above all, shouldn’t we be ready to embrace our Father at any and all times?

Finally,  “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Jesus is the epitome of the Word and He evangelizes through the Disciples, sharing His message of love for all people. He asks us to do the same, though this again may be a formidable task for us if we are not truly dedicated to His teachings. Fear and distraction may often offset us from following His instruction in our current circumstances. May we pray for His guidance and strength to act as the Apostles did, having inspiration and living in the joy of His peace, which is all glorious and eternal.

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Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practices in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.

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Jesus Heals

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In today’s reading from the Gospel of Mark, crowds of people surrounded Christ and His disciples. They approached Christ because they heard that He had healed many. They, too, wanted to be healed.

Imagine living during the time of Christ and seeing Him for real—in flesh and blood—hearing stories of the miracles He performed, and knowing in your heart that He could heal you. Imagine being so convinced that you felt compelled to follow Him.

In a sense, the people in Christ’s time almost had it easy. They saw His miracles and heard His teachings; they could not deny that He was the Son of God. 

It’s harder for us 2,000 years later. We don’t get that firsthand account. We don’t get to be eyewitnesses. We close our eyes and can only imagine what it must have been like. We rely on stories. We rely on faith.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, today, crowds of people still chased after Christ because they knew and understood who He really is? Some do. Yet many in our secular society scoff at those who believe. They tell us we’re “nuts” or “crazy.”  They don’t understand. And they certainly don’t know Christ like we do.

If they knew Him, they would run after Him as well.

But are we always like that crowd of people in Christ’s time? Do we so desperately seek Him that we run after Him no matter what? Or do we cautiously walk, unsure of what we have been taught, unsure of what we believe, and reticent to let the world know our beliefs?

Sometimes, when things get difficult, we may feel that Christ is not with us. But we must remain steadfast in the belief that He is always there. We must take steps to feel closer to Him. We pray unceasingly. We sit with Him in Adoration. We read His words. 

Christ is our light and our hope. In this, we must have faith—a faith that impels us to run toward Him, even in dark times.

We may not be able to tangibly see or touch Him, but we must believe He will never leave us, for He loves us more than we can ever imagine. 

So, the next time you feel like you are all alone, remember that Christ is our constant. He is the one thing we can always count on, no matter what. He is always waiting for us with outstretched arms. 

He may not answer our prayers in the exact way that we want, and He may not take away our physical or mental ailments. But, if we ask, He will give the kind of healing that matters most—a spiritual healing. And that is the only reason we are here on earth. 

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Susan Ciancio has a BA in psychology and a BA in sociology from the University of Notre Dame, with an MA in liberal studies from Indiana University. For the past 17 years, she has worked as a professional editor and writer, editing both fiction and nonfiction books, magazine articles, blogs, educational lessons, professional materials and website content. Eleven of those years have been in the pro-life sector. Currently Susan freelances and writes weekly for HLI, edits for American Life League, and is the editor of Celebrate Life Magazine. She also serves as executive editor for the Culture of Life Studies Program-an educational nonprofit program for K-12 students.

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Following Christ

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Sometimes when I read the Twelve Apostles’ names, my mind wonders what did Jesus see in each one of these men that drew him to invite them to be his followers? Did Jesus see a light in their eyes or hearts, even Judas, which gave him hope in the role each would play in the establishment of his Church here on earth? Furthermore, what did these twelve men perceive in Jesus, which caused them to leave everything and everyone behind to follow?

What does Jesus see in me? I, too, am invited to “come and see,” as the Apostles were. I, too, am called to “follow Him.” To pick up my cross daily and accept the invitation to be one of his disciples. Through the gift of hindsight, the written Gospels, and 2000 years of tradition, the choice for us would appear easier. The first disciples responded with incredible faith. Yet, maybe it is equivalent to the faith we show in assenting to follow an unseen God?  Regardless, how blessed are all who allow Jesus to breakthrough into their lives and come to Him.

Every encounter I have with Jesus Christ, be it in reading Scripture, receiving or adoring the Eucharist, receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or as I sit in prayer with my Lord and Savior, I know I am never the same person again. Even brief encounters with His grace change and strengthen me.

With simple words, Jesus “summoned those whom he wanted and they came to him.”   Some Apostles come by direct invitation from Jesus, yet others begin to follow after an invitation from another whose heart burns from their encounter with Jesus. Regardless of how you come to first know of Jesus, it is only through experiencing Him directly that you truly choose to follow. That brings me to my second pondering on the calling of the Apostles. What did they see in Jesus which led them to remain and abide with Him? 

I can’t imagine what those early days were like, as they traveled alongside and listened to His every word. Never before spoken words, sometimes baffling and even frightening, yet knowing in their heart this was their long-awaited Messiah offering redemption and salvation.

What I love so much about the Scriptures—they are not just accounts of what happened two thousand years ago, but they are truth and light for each of us today. Each lesson shared by Jesus still teaches and inspires you and me. Jesus makes promises not only to those within His earshot in the Holy Land but also to us. At times, I may be a little “Doubting Thomas” looking for evidence or proof for myself; however, I do believe Jesus to be the Way, the Truth, and the Life. With my whole heart, mind, and soul, I have come to know and believe there is no other way to the Father than through His Son, Jesus Christ. Today, I reaffirm my decision to “come and see” and always follow Him.

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Allison Gingras works for WINE: Women In the New Evangelization as National WINE Steward of the Virtual Vineyard. She is a Social Media Consultant for the Diocese of Fall River and CatholicMom.com. She is a writer, speaker, and podcaster, who founded ReconciledToYou.com and developed the Stay Connected Journals for Catholic Women (OSV).   

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There is Nothing I Shall Want

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Desire: it can often be geared towards holy and beautiful things, but how often do our desires become absorbed in the culture around us? Do we let the world convince us of what should be most important? My anxiety spirals as I ponder my own life in comparison to that of others. I get lost in thought and before I know it I have lost sight of God’s love and goodness, and all the blessings He has provided in my life amidst all circumstances.

Since the Fall, doubt has entered the human heart and led to sin. Sin occurs when we doubt God: instead of trusting the Father we try to take control. Doubt and lack of trust in God causes us to search for happiness, something that is fleeting. Joy in the Lord is a constant, no matter where we are in the journey of life. Doubt, comparison, and coveting steal this joy that God intends to freely share with us.

How can we combat this comparison and coveting that we experience to live in true freedom in God? There are several ways that can provide peace and comfort when these anxious thoughts seem to attack the heart. Time with Jesus in Adoration is a significant means of offering these doubts to Christ, laying them at His feet. The Litany of Humility is another way of taking time to be with God and putting Him first. Also, meditating upon the experiences of the saints gives us a great perspective of how Christ can and will help us overcome. Finally, accepting our failings and bringing them to God throughout the day in the ordinary moments can lead to deeper trust and intimacy with the Lord. When we recognize we are nothing without God it helps us to shift our perspective to what really matters. 

Intimacy with Christ in Adoration, prayer, and communion with the saints lead to a strengthening of our joy, an increase in devotion to Him that is the source and summit of our faith. When we make the conscious choice to ask for God’s help in putting Him first, He will answer. Trust and have joy, brothers and sisters!

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” C.S. Lewis

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Nathalie Shultz is a joyful convert to the Catholic faith and a competitive swimmer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD. She is the Director of Religious Education for the North Allegan Catholic Collaborative of parishes. Nathalie is married to her best friend, Tommy Shultz. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  She is also a huge fan of C.S. Lewis. If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.

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Choosing Not To Choose Is Choosing

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There is a battle going on in today’s Gospel, but Jesus is the only one who speaks! The Pharisees don’t need to open their mouths – in fact, they willfully remain silent – because Jesus is battling for their hearts. But their hearts are hardened. They are not there to hear Jesus teach or even to hear the Scripture.  They are only there to watch Jesus, hoping to catch him in the act of doing something “so that they might accuse him.”

Jesus knows this. He has sparred with them before. He knows what they are about. And so he calls them out, gives them the opportunity to engage, to discuss, to reconsider. He calls up the man with the withered hand and asks the Pharisees one of those brilliant “Jesus questions”; they can make a choice for truth or continue in their untruth. They must choose what is true or say what is untrue! But they know that no matter how they answer, they won’t get their way, because they can’t have it both ways! They are unwilling to make the choice and so they remain silent. They refuse to answer.

Choosing not to choose is choosing.

What is Jesus’ response? He is angry and grieved. The Greek words used to describe his reaction are unique in the New Testament. His anger is synonymous with the wrath of God; but Jesus’ grief is described with the intensive form of the verb “to be sorry or grieve.” Jesus is displeased with their blindness, and filled with sorrow at their willful hardness of heart, because he has come to save them too. But they cannot rejoice with those who have been healed and set free from sin. They cannot see the Messiah restoring all that has been injured by sin, and calling them into his glorious kingdom. They have closed themselves to what is happening right in their midst.

It is not enough for them to ignore him or dismiss him or even talk against him. It is not enough for them to refuse to hear the beauty of his words or the freedom that he teaches. They must destroy him. Rather than allow themselves to be moved by the good, they harden themselves against this thorn in their side and determine to kill him!

This is a fitting Gospel for the saint of today: St. Sebastian was one of the many martyrs executed during the persecutions of Diocletian. As a Roman soldier, Sebastian was found to be a Christian and did not back down at the threat of death from those who had hardened their hearts against the truth. Like Christ, he stood firm even as they shot him full of arrows because he was determined to obey God and his conscience rather than men, as the Collect for today’s Mass reminds us.

St. Sebastian, intercede for us, that we might remain open to Good and stand firmly in the Truth, no matter the cost!

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Kathryn Mulderink, MA, is married to Robert, Station Manager for Holy Family Radio. Together they have seven children (including newly ordained Father Rob and seminarian Luke ;-), and two grandchildren. She is a Secular Discalced Carmelite and has published five books and many articles. Over the last 25 years, she has worked as a teacher, headmistress, catechist, Pastoral Associate, and DRE. Currently, she serves the Church as a writer and voice talent for Catholic Radio, by publishing and speaking, and by collaborating with the diocesan Office of Catechesis, various parishes, and other ministries to lead others to encounter Christ and engage their faith. Her website is https://www.kathryntherese.com/.

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Hope

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There is a light snow falling as I write. It covers the dulled yellow and green grasses that are still visible here in West Michigan, making things look fresh. Snow on roadways can be quite treacherous. There are many who forget that traction, and a wet or snowy surface, can result in sliding, slipping, spinning, and much greater stopping distances.

If you’ve ever been in mud, on a dirt road, caught a patch of ice or snow, in a way you didn’t intend, with a vehicle or on foot, you know what I mean. Suddenly you can lose all sense of direction or feel caught in slow motion while being out of control of the situation. I kinda feel like that when looking at what has been going on in our country, on so many levels and in so many situations. It can be overwhelming to know where to focus. The readings today can help.

“We earnestly desire each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of hope until the end…hold fast to the hope that lies before us”, is a directive from the First Reading. The Gospel acclamation calls out, “May the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ enlighten the eyes of our hearts, that we may know what is the hope that belongs to our call.” 

My focus is on hope. It’s the hope and promise of God. The Lord of the sabbath is my hope. I am to be His hands, his body, hope and love in this world. It is my charge, given through the waters of baptism.

“Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage. Anger that things are the way they are. Courage to make them the way they ought to be.” St. Augustine of Hippo

Please spend some time with the links you find here. My prayer is that you too may find hope to do what is yours to do to keep hope alive in this world as Joyce Rupp so beautifully said,

Faithful Companion,

in this new year I pray:

to live deeply, with purpose,

to live freely, with detachment,

to live wisely, with humility,

to live justly, with compassion

to live lovingly, with fidelity,

to live mindfully, with awareness,

to live gracefully, with generosity,

to live fully, with enthusiasm.

Help me to hold this vision and to daily renew it in my heart,

becoming ever more one with You, and my truest self.  Amen

You Keep Hope Alive

Hope Has a Name

Future + Hope

All My Hope

Hope for the Future

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Beth Price is part of the customer care team at Diocesan. She brings a unique depth of experience to the group due to her time spent in education, parish ministries, sales and the service industry over the last 25 yrs. She is a practicing spiritual director as well as a Secular Franciscan (OFS). Beth is quick to offer a laugh, a prayer or smile to all she comes in contact with. Reach her here bprice@diocesan.com.

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New Wine and Fresh Wineskins

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On December 12, 2020, I gave my life to God.  Again.

Reflecting upon this realization that I was promising to do God’s will, not my own, yet another time in my life, I wanted to consciously be active in this dedication. In the past, I have said the same words of promise to God, then gone home from the retreat, the conference, the Mass, and continued my life. MY life, not His. 

In today’s Gospel, we read:  “No one sews a piece of unshrunken cloth on an old cloak. If he does, its fullness pulls away, the new from the old, and the tear gets worse. Likewise, no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the skins are ruined. Rather, new wine is poured into fresh wineskins.” (Mark 21-22)

Similarly, I cannot continue to pour my renewed devotion to God into the same wineskin. I cannot continue my ways. I cannot act as though this miraculous, beautiful moment of encounter with the Lord does not require complete change. Instead, I must pour myself into a new wineskin. A new way of holding and presenting myself. 

I often recall Pope Francis’ call to the millions of youth gathered in Poland at World Youth Day 2016 as he said, “The times we live in require only active players on the field, and there is no room for those who sit on the bench. Today’s world demands that you be a protagonist of history because life is always beautiful when we choose to live it fully, when we choose to leave a mark.”

Therefore, I cannot sit still. I cannot continue down the same worn path, the same unenthusiastic living. It’s unauthentic. It is not actively living God’s will. It is selfishly hiding and hoarding the joy that I have been given. 

I ask you, my brother or sister, are you celebrating new wine? Are you placing your new wine in the new wineskins of new joy, new practices, new selves? Where are you placing your new wine? 

Read Pope Francis’ World Youth Day 2016 message in full by clicking here or watch the video by clicking here.

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Veronica Alvarado is a born and raised Texan currently living in Michigan. Since graduating from Texas A&M University, Veronica has published various articles in the Catholic Diocese of Austin’s official newspaper, the Catholic Spirit, and other local publications. She now works as the Content Specialist in Diocesan’s Web Department.

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Steps to Spiritual Growth

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In twelve-step programs, one of the tools used for spiritual growth is the “three A’s”: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. Each of our readings today highlights one or more of these steps in a spiritual growth process.

Awareness

St. Paul beautifully describes the awareness we need as Christians: that we cannot separate our bodies and souls when it comes to morality and our relationship with Christ. We must have interior and exterior moral integrity, for the Holy Spirit dwells within us. Once we know this, we can move toward accepting and acting on this truth.

Acceptance

In our First Reading, we see young Samuel with some awareness that someone is calling him. Like many of us, though, he goes to the wrong place, with pure intentions, when God calls. With the help of Eli, however, he accepts the call of God and becomes ready to put His will into action.

Action

In our Gospel, we see the first apostles going through these three phases rather quickly They become aware that Jesus is Messiah through John’s word, accept that truth, and spring into action, following Jesus and telling others about Him. 

Our psalm also speaks of this process: the psalmist becomes aware of God stooping toward him, he accepts God’s call, saying, “behold I come,” and he acts on God’s call to announce His justice to the vast assembly.

Sometimes I wish that God’s call for me were as explicit as the calls that Samuel and the apostles received. For most of us, though, the path to awareness of God’s will for us means prayer, to grow closer to God, and quiet meditation, so that we can hear God speaking in our hearts. Once we are aware, then more prayer and mediation come in to help conform our wills to His so that we can accept it. Then, when we act on our acceptance of God’s plan, our prayers and meditation can give us the strength to carry out God’s will.

So then by prayer, meditation, and following His will, we grow closer to God. That is what spiritual growth is all about!

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J.M. Pallas has had a lifelong love of Scriptures. When she is not busy with her vocation as a wife and mother to her “1 Samuel 1” son, or her vocation as a public health educator, you may find her at her parish women’s bible study, affectionately known as “The Bible Chicks.”

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He Knows Me So Well

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There’s an obscure moment in an equally obscure musical during which two women, both in love with the same man, sing a duet titled I Know Him So Well. Oddly enough, this is the song that’s been running through my head as I read today’s lessons—though with slightly changed lyrics. Not “I know him so well,” but, rather, “He knows me so well.”

I seem to spend a lot of time trying to do the right thing, and a lot more time, frankly, falling flat on my face. Every morning I start out with lofty resolutions about how I am going to move through my day in God’s presence, and every evening I do a brief Examen and find how many of those resolutions came to nothing. Do some spiritual reading? Um, nope, didn’t find time for that today. Follow through on my offer to help someone and actually, well, help them? Oops, that will have to be for tomorrow. Not think unkind thoughts about people with whom I disagree, but who are also children of God? Not even close. 

I despair, sometimes, of ever getting it right. And I wonder how it all seems to God, who started the day with me in my resolutions and promises and plans, and to whom I have to admit how much I failed. Failed, yet again, to be the “only Gospel my neighbor ever reads,” as St. Francis urges me. Failed, yet again, to put God first and myself second. Failed, failed, failed.

One of my favorite theologians, Frederich Buechner, writes, “To confess your sins to God is not to tell him anything he doesn’t already know. Until you confess them, however, they are the abyss between you. When you confess them, they become the bridge.” I think about that as I do my nightly Examen: he already knows everything I’m going to say to him. He already knows my failures.

And, as today’s readings assure me, knowing all that, he loves me anyway. St. Paul tells the Hebrews that “No creature is concealed from him, but everything is naked and exposed (…) For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.” And St. Mark reminds us of Jesus sitting with people who are despised, with tax collectors, with sinners, and replies to objections: “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

And there it is. He knows me so well. He knows my weaknesses. He knows how often I fail—but he also knows how often I try. He has come to eat with me, to walk with me, to offer me love and friendship, even though he knows me so well. That is precisely why he is here. And why I need to keep trying. Keep resolving to walk more closely with him every morning; keep examining where I fell short and working out how to progress every evening. Keep doing the best I can. Understand in all the trying and failing and trying again that I am a beloved child of God.

And that he knows me so well.

Contact the author

Jeannette de Beauvoir is a writer and editor with the digital department of Pauline Books & Media, working on projects as disparate as newsletters, book clubs, ebooks, and retreats that support the apostolate of the Daughters of St. Paul at http://www.pauline.org.

Feature Image Credit: Fortorech, https://pixabay.com/photos/sky-freedom-happiness-relieved-2667455/