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Are You Blessed by Faith?

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Jesus asked His disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” The answers varied from a prophet to John the Baptist. He then asks the question each of us should carefully contemplate our answer to, “But who do you yourselves say that I am?”

Who is Jesus in your life? Simon Peter knows He is “the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Remarkably not by the words of man but through God—from heaven above.  For this proclamation, Jesus responds to Peter, “Blessed are you.” In the Scriptures, we meet others, who were likewise referred to as blessed for believing the revelations of God. At the Visitation, Elizabeth cries out to Mary, “blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord.”

To the no longer doubting Thomas, Jesus says, “Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.” There seems to be a pattern emerging of how one becomes blessed. It is not through some heroic deed but through faith—the kind that comes from the heart and not through the eyes. I long to be known as blessed, to imitate the trust exemplified in Mary, Peter and Thomas, not superhuman actions but acts of incredible faith.

The author of Hebrews illuminates the meaning of faith, writing, “Now faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen…By faith, we understand that the world has been created by the word of God so that what is seen has not been made out of things that are visible.” Then, one by one, he shares the power of and the remarkable results to be someone living by faith. 

By faith, they received approval from God and his righteousness. By faith, they found heaven and were taken into the presence of God. By faith, they could do the impossible. By faith, they were saved and not condemned. By faith, they were called out of a place and into their inheritance, into the Kingdom of God. Hebrews 11 unfolds blessing after blessing of living your life by faith. Although considered people of old, their legacy is ours as daughters and sons of a Heavenly Father. By faith, we, too, by simply believing, can do great things for the glory of God and have the resolute assurance of the promises of Christ.

How do you answer Jesus’ question?  Who do you say Jesus is? Do you believe what you read in the Gospels? Do you believe the prophets, do you trust what you feel in your heart, laid there by the power of the Holy Spirit? Do we need to be like Thomas and touch Jesus’ wounds, or can we be blessed because we believe, although we do not see? Like Mary, we can choose to believe that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken by the Lord. Lastly, like Peter in today’s Gospel, we too can be blessed by proclaiming with our lips and from our hearts that Jesus is indeed the Christ, the son of God, our Savior and Redeemer.

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Allison Gingras works for WINE: Women In the New Evangelization as National WINE Steward of the Virtual Vineyard. She is a Social Media Consultant for the Diocese of Fall River and CatholicMom.com. She is a writer, speaker, and podcaster, who founded ReconciledToYou.com and developed the Stay Connected Journals for Catholic Women (OSV).   

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God’s Covenant

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Gn 9:8-15 is one of our first introductions to the word “covenant”. The word speaks of God’s promise to us. It is not through our works that we will receive grace, but through God’s goodness. In His covenant to Noah, God vows to make a covenant between Himself and the earth. Is this not a foreshadowing of the ultimate covenant He establishes for us in sending His only begotten Son, God incarnate, to us? 

As we recall in today’s Gospel, Christ came down to live the human experience, both its joys and its sorrows. His forty days in the desert are only the beginning of this great sacrifice. Through Christ, God shows that His love for us surpasses all. In times where we may question “where are you Lord?” we must recall that God is always with us through His beloved Son Christ. How infinitely blessed are we, who, made from dust, can now encounter the joys of eternal salvation! 

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Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practices in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.

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Caught In The Gaze Of Jesus

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Who was this “tax collector named Levi” in today’s Gospel? How did he enter into this profession? How many hours had Levi sat at the customs post counting and calculating the taxes he collected? What had he purchased for himself with the wealth that he drew for himself? How many years had gone into establishing his reputation and identity as a tax collector?

Then Jesus comes, probably with his disciples. He “sees” Levi.

What would this be like, to have Jesus really SEE us? Well, it would undoubtedly change us, like it changed Levi. Levi, who had built a life as a collector of taxes, who has established a reputation in the community, who has gathered comfortable wealth to himself, is changed under the gaze of Jesus, so that when Jesus says, “Follow me,” Levi DOES. Levi leaves it all – he leaves everything behind – gets up, and follows Jesus!

It’s worth asking ourselves seriously what we would do in Levi’s sandals. Would we be able to leave everything behind, and go wherever Jesus leads? Could I leave behind my job, my home, whatever I have built up for now and for the future, for the love of God? The few words used by St. Luke to express this scene may make this seem like an easy thing, but there is something profound and phenomenal happening here.  There is a seismic change within Levi, who suddenly knows that the “security” he has established for himself is not secure at all, the comfort he has carved out for himself is not satisfying, the plans he has made for himself are not worth pursuing. When caught in the gaze of Jesus, Levi sees possibilities that he could not see before.

Isn’t this partly what Lent is about? We pray to allow ourselves to be caught in the gaze of Jesus, who is always seeking us and always for  us, so that in his gaze we recognize the needs and yearnings of our own hearts more deeply, and are moved to let go of all our own ideas about our lives. When we are willing to set aside our own agendas and open ourselves fully to God’s Plan for us, we receive the grace to “leave everything behind” and follow him.

Not many of us actually have to leave our whole lives behind and start something new – our families and homes and possessions and jobs are gifts from the Lord. But we can receive the grace to really SEE that everything is a gift and to put all our gifts and talents in service to God’s will for us, rather than our own will for us. Our activity becomes directed to the good of others and God’s glory, rather than our own ideas of comfort and security. We learn to trust in the Providence of God, rather than our own providing.

This is the “newness” in which the Lord invites us to walk this Lent. 

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Kathryn Mulderink, MA, is married to Robert, Station Manager for Holy Family Radio. Together they have seven children (including newly ordained Father Rob and seminarian Luke ;-), and two grandchildren. She is a Secular Discalced Carmelite and has published five books and many articles. Over the last 25 years, she has worked as a teacher, headmistress, catechist, Pastoral Associate, and DRE. Currently, she serves the Church as a writer and voice talent for Catholic Radio, by publishing and speaking, and by collaborating with the diocesan Office of Catechesis, various parishes, and other ministries to lead others to encounter Christ and engage their faith. Her website is https://www.kathryntherese.com/.

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Staying On the Path Toward God When Fasting

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Of the three primary penitential practices of Lent, namely prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, fasting is the one that most often gets off track as a spiritual practice.

How often does fasting become a weight loss strategy instead of a path to spiritual growth? How often does it turn into a prideful personal challenge of toughness instead of turning us toward God? How often does fasting become a game of following the letter of the law, not the spirit, and we do things like give up ice cream but eat twice as much candy?

Now, fasting can lead to incredible spiritual growth and closeness to God, but our minds and spirits must guide the physical practice of fasting. Through fasting we can loosen the grip of unhealthy physical attachments that we have in this world. We can discover our reliance on God. We can see more clearly God’s will for us.  Our actions will naturally be filled with mercy when we are closer to God and wholeheartedly seeking His will.

There is no room for God to give us these and other benefits from fasting, though, if we are preoccupied with our own motives and goals in fasting. Today I pray that the Lord may help us to have integrity of mind, body, and spirit when we fast, and that through our fasting we can create a channel for His grace to flow more deeply into our souls.

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J.M. Pallas has had a lifelong love of Scriptures. When she is not busy with her vocation as a wife and mother to her “1 Samuel 1” son, or her vocation as a public health educator, you may find her at her parish women’s bible study, affectionately known as “The Bible Chicks.”

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Lent is here! Get it into Gear

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Day Two of Lent and we are well on our way along the well-worn paths of Lenten themes. Jesus comes out strong today with some classic Lenten phrases: “Deny yourself, take up your cross, follow me,” and “Whoever loses his life will save it.” You might be thinking, “Woah there, Lent just got started. Isn’t that a little strong for the opener?”

Both yes and no, from my perspective at least. Yes, this is a strong way to begin Lent. Just look at the last line of today’s Gospel, “What profit is there for one to gain the whole world, yet lose or forfeit himself?” These are revolutionary words since they go against pretty much all of human nature. Consider the first sin of Adam and Eve. They grasped for what they thought would make them happy, would broaden their horizons. But at what cost? 

Up and down the centuries, this sin of pride and greed, this grasping for what is out of our reach, has thwarted the best and worst of us alike. We all struggle with a deep fear that what we have will be taken away and we will be left without. So we work, we grasp, to gain whatever we can that we think will protect us from this fear. Jesus is pressing on that fear, deftly identifying with surgical precision the root of the human condition. Lent is here, get it into gear says Jesus.

At the start of Lent, a time when we are supposed to take the time to look inward and discover where we need to grow, Jesus is pointing out to each one of us a good place to start. What are we fearful to lose? What are we doing or acquiring that we think will alleviate that fear? How much time or space does it consume?

Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, “I don’t want to gain the whole world. I’m not some mad scientist trying to take over the world after all. I just want to be comfortable, to have security for the future, food on the table, normal stuff.” I’m glad you’re not a mad scientist or evil genius, but Jesus is asking you to consider stretching yourself this Lent. What does it mean to be “comfortable?” What would Jesus consider “comfortable” if He walked into your home today? 

Are we supposed to care for and provide for the families God has given us? Yes, of course! But we are also supposed to care for our neighbors, strangers, others, with love and support as well. 

Lent is a time where purposefully widen our gaze. The world encourages tunnel vision – I do me and you do you. We are called to something more. We are members of a community, a Body. We lose ourselves when we struggle to gain alone. We find ourselves when we work together for the good of each person in our community. 

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Kate Taliaferro is an Air Force wife and mother. She is blessed to be able to homeschool, bake bread and fold endless piles of laundry. When not planning a school day, writing a blog post or cooking pasta, Kate can be found curled up with a book or working with some kind of fiber craft. Kate blogs at DailyGraces.net.

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Repent!

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“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matt 4:17).

These are the first words of Jesus’ public ministry. Today, Ash Wednesday, we have greater occasion to reflect on them. Of course, we know the basics of Lent: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. We’re probably still thinking about what to do in each of these areas, and I’m sure our friends and pastors will have some helpful advice. But today more than ever, we ought to have an oft-neglected subject in mind: repentance.

Our readings are shot through with contrition, intense sorrow of the heart for sin. We hear Joel’s powerful call to “proclaim a fast” and to return to the Lord with “weeping and mourning” (Joel 2:12, 15), and we read from the famous Psalm 51, which David created after committing murder and adultery. The Scriptures express a sorrow that we often do not experience. 

Sure, we’re familiar with sorrow. We have plenty of occasions to mess up, and therefore plenty of occasions to apologize. But can we relate to the intensity of Joel’s sorrow? Can we relate to David’s profound contrition? It’s important to remember that the people of the Old Testament, at certain times, were accustomed to expressing their sorrow for sin by wearing sackcloth and covering themselves in ashes. Why go so far?

In our psalm, David says “against you [the Lord] only have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:6). By saying this, he acknowledges that ultimately, all sin can be referred back to God. When we take that perspective, we can understand his contrition more clearly.

Sin is, at its core, a turning away from God, elevating some created person or thing above Him. In sinning, we’re saying, “That’s nice, God, but I’d really prefer to listen to myself (or someone else) right now. I know that You created me and that everything You ask of me is for my own good and happiness, but I don’t really believe that right now.”

Knowing what sin really is and how much it offends Our Lord, why would we ever deliberately do it? How can we get so carried away by our own desires and by the temptations of the world and Satan that we forget who our Creator is? Do we really want to give Him another reason for His ultimate sacrifice on the Cross? “God, I appreciate what You’re doing for me, and I know it’s painful, but could you stay up there a bit longer? There are some things I’d like to do.”

Now, we aren’t usually so callous when we sin. However, we need to understand that each sin against God (which all sins are) is saying these things to a greater or lesser degree. When we see this, we can begin to understand Joel and David. We can begin to understand the point of such great lengths as sackcloth, ashes, and public penance. We can embark on our Lenten prayer, fasting, and almsgiving practices with greater fervor.

This perspective, coupled with the firm confidence (also in our readings) that God will accept our repentance and replace our sin with grace, will allow us to have a truly fruitful Lent. We can foster these attitudes through prayer, fasting, almsgiving, and frequent Confession. This is a powerful time, when the entire Church atones for its sins, experiencing a purgative season. We experience discomfort and sorrow for forty days, but these days bear great fruit. In the end, we experience the mercy, love, and forgiveness of the Savior, and we merit grace for the salvation of souls.

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David Dashiell is a freelance writer, editor, and proofreader based in the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area. His writing has been featured in Crisis Magazine and The Imaginative Conservative, and his editing is done for a variety of publishers, such as Sophia Institute and Scepter. He can be reached at ddashiellwork@gmail.com.

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Seek Good, Seek God

What wonderful messages from our Lenten readings today! From our first reading by Isaiah we get a sense of the extraordinary life that our Lord promises us and today’s pre-Gospel verse and reading from John provide insight into how to get there. We begin with Isaiah’s reading and the Lord’s promise of a world free from pain and sorry and, instead, full of joy and gladness. It is believed that Isaiah is writing about this utopian world in apocalyptic language and, thus, it should not necessarily be taken literally. Instead, it provides insight into what life could be on earth and what certainly awaits us following our death. God undoubtedly provides us the means to minimize suffering and sadness in our lives and to maximize the wellbeing of all on earth. It is through the teachings and actions of Jesus and his message of love and compassion for others that guide us during this Lenten season and beyond.

Following the teachings of Jesus is not always easy. Our pre-Gospel reading reminds us of that and the importance of not necessarily being perfect and free of evil but, instead, to seek good in all we do. Lent is that pathway in which we reflect on our faults and do what we can to address these and to become the best we can in God’s eyes. And to me that involves doing all I can to not only follow the teachings of Jesus, but to seek out a life based on the example that he provided to us while on earth. Although this is difficult to do and I am certainly not close to perfect, I am reassured that the Lord will accompany me along the way.

John’s reading highlights the healing power of Jesus but, more importantly, addresses the value of faith. As seen in the John’s reading, the royal official wanted Jesus to visit his ill son who was near death in order to save him. Although Jesus healed his son, he chastised the man and others for seeking “signs and wonders” in order to believe. As we progress through Lent, John reminds us of the importance of having faith in the word of God. And rather than coming to God only when we need him, to open up a daily conversation with God and to trust that He will answer our prayers in His way and not necessarily according to our wishes or expectations for He knows us best. The key is to be open to God’s words, to seek good in all we do, and to have faith as we progress through the Lenten season on a journey that will lead to a long, beautiful, and joyous life with God!

 

Today’s guest blogger is Michael Kavan, currently the Associate Dean for Student Affairs at Creighton University School of Medicine. He is also a psychologist and a Professor of Family Medicine and Professor of Psychiatry. A faculty member at Creighton since 1988, Kavan teaches classes on a variety of topics related to behavioral medicine, depression, anxiety, and interviewing skills for medical students and residents. He also practices psychology at a family medicine clinic.

Kavan says, “I am happily married to my wife, Mary, and we have four daughters ages 22, 21, 18, and 14. I truly enjoy working with medical students and assisting in their professional development. I like to spend time cycling, running, fly fishing, reading, and spending time with my family.”

[This reflection is used by permission from Creighton University’s Collaborative Ministry Office.]

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How Thirsty Are You?

As we continue in the Lenten season, an image forms in our minds of a desert. Perhaps this is because we hear in the Scriptures that Christ fasted in the desert for forty days and forty nights, but I think the imagery goes deeper than this.

Think back to the Gospel reading from last Sunday where we see a Samaritan woman retrieving water from the well. Here is a woman who is so thirsty, but not necessarily thirsty for physical water. She is thirsty for healing, for hope, for truth, for love.

She has had one broken relationship after another and wants more than anything to be loved and accepted. Jesus engages this woman, doesn’t  judge her or condemn her. But he invites her. He invites her into a relationship and says, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

All throughout Scripture the number seven is used to denote perfection. The Samaritan woman has had six husbands up to this point who have not given her the love she longs for and the love she deserves. Christ enters the scene as the perfect bridegroom to us all, offering  a relationship that will truly satisfy. He says, “Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Here is bridegroom number seven – perfectly fulfilling his promise of true love.

Now put yourself into this story. Ask yourself honestly how you will respond to this invitation from Christ. Will you try to hide the hurt in your life? Will you continue to draw water from a well that will never satisfy? Or will you humble yourself – like the Samaritan woman – and allow Christ to pour his life-giving water into your heart? Happy Lent!

 

Change LentTommy Shultz is Diocesan Publication’s Solutions Evangelist. He is also a full time speaker who was most recently the Director of youth and young adult ministries for the Diocese of Baker, OR. As an experienced speaker on all things Catholic, he has addressed thousands of teens and young adults on topics such as the Sacraments, chastity, and boldly living the Catholic faith. He has given many talks and hosted retreats across the nation. Driven by his passion for Theology of the Body, Tommy studied at the Theology of the Body Institute and has spoken at numerous Theology of the Body conferences. From 2012-2013, he served as a missionary of purity, speaking to over 20 thousand youth about the message of purity across the state of Pennsylvania. He is also a founder of the Corpus Christi Theology of the Body campus organization at Franciscan University. To book Tommy for an event or for further information please visit www.tommy-shultz.com.

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Trusting in the Other Side of Obedience

 

“Behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sons.” When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.” – Mat. 1:17- 24

Today the Church celebrates the Solemnity  of Saint Joseph. Little is known about Joseph, and no words of his are recorded in Scripture. We do know that he was a man of love, faith and obedience. In his human frailty, he must also have experienced fear and doubt.

In fact, scripture tells us that when Joseph discovered that the Blessed Virgin Mary was pregnant he “decided to divorce her quietly” until an angel appeared to him. How was Joseph able to change his mind and be obedient to God’s call, rather than believing his dream was perhaps the result of rotten goat’s milk before bed?  Looking at Scripture again, Joseph is described as “a righteous man.” Righteous, selfless and obedient, Joseph stepped out in faith, supporting Mary and God’s plan for their family.

“Someone’s faith stands on the other side of our obedience,” a friend commented after Bible study years ago. His comment remains with me, bubbling to the surface when questions arise in my faith or trials last longer than it seems I can possibly bear.

Marriage is a great platform for faith and obedience. In this Sacrament, husband and wife vow to remain faithful “for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” The grace of this Sacrament compels spouses to stay true to these promises “until death do us part.” So when tough times come – and they will  – I can stand firm, trusting in God’s plan of salvation and knowing that my obedience is planting seeds not only for today, but for our family in generations yet to come, just as generations past impact us today.

God led Joseph and Mary down one unexpected path after another. They knew their son was special, yet instead of being prideful, Joseph and Mary showed great humility in following Jewish law. They took their son to the temple in Jerusalem, just as all Jewish parents at that time did with their firstborn sons.

At this presentation, Simeon’s faith was rewarded specifically because of Joseph and Mary’s obedience. “Every male that opens the womb shall be consecrated to the Lord.” Simeon, being a righteous man, had trust in the Lord’s promise that he should not see death before he had seen the Messiah of the Lord.” Simeon’s faith was standing on the other side of Joseph and Mary’s obedience.

On this celebration of Saint Joseph and throughout the Lenten season, let us ask our Lord to strengthen our faith and help us to grow in love, which bears the fruit of obedience. Staying close to Jesus on our journey, we will hear the voice of the Holy Spirit telling us when to act and which way to go. Jesus, Mary, Joseph, pray for us.

 

Amy Oatley is a wife, mother, and Secular Franciscan (OFS), passionate about social justice, advocating for the dignity of every human life. She encounters Christ through Prison and Jail Ministry in the Diocese of Grand Rapids and as a Sidewalk Advocate for Life. A journalist for the past thirty years, she is currently a freelance writer for FAITH Magazine and works at St. Thomas the Apostle Parish. Her home parish is Our Lady of Consolation in Rockford, Michigan.

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Steadfast In Faith For Lent

At Mass, we try to pay special attention to the readings and sermon. With good reason: God is present in His Word among the people. But some of the prayers and other parts of the Mass can slip by us.

My pastor told us a while back to pay attention to the “Collect.” This is the short prayer the priest prays at the very end of the introductory rites, just before we are seated to listen to the Word of God. Today’s Collect is quite beautiful:

O God, who delight in innocence and restore it,
direct the hearts of your servants to yourself,
that, caught up in the fire of your Spirit
may be found steadfast in faith
and effective in works.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God for ever and ever.

We could easily reflect all day on this lovely prayer, but one part truly caught my attention: “may be found steadfast in faith and effective in works.”

That OUR part, our pledge. We are asking Almighty God to direct our hearts through the Holy Spirit so that we can go forth from the Mass, nourished by the Eucharist, and – despite whatever comes our way today – we will hold fast to our faith and be effective in the vocation God has imparted to us. That is our prayer directly before the Word of God and the Gospel. That Word too will nourish us in faith. It will give us the example and strength to be effective in our work, just as our forefathers and -mothers in Scripture have been.

Whether you are able to attend Mass today, the Collect is a good prayer to meditate upon. Ask God, along with the Universal Church, to help you be steadfast in faith and effective in works today.

 

EH headshotElise Hilton is an author, blogger and speaker. Her role at Diocesan Publications is Editor & Writer with the Marketing Team. She has worked in parish faith formation and Catholic education for over 25 years. A passionate student of theology, Elise enjoys sharing her thoughts on parish communication, the role of social media in the Church, Franciscan spirituality and Catholic parenting. To enquire about booking her as a speaker, please contact her at ehilton@diocesan.com.

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Lent and the vocation of motherhood

In today’s Gospel the mother of the sons of Zebedee has a request of Jesus: “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.”

We may read with a “tsk, tsk” on our lips because, who does she think she is anyway? The ultimate stage mom, right? But let’s look a little closer. This woman doesn’t even have a name. Her boys, James and John are referred to as the “sons of Zebedee” no matter how long she was in labor with them or how well she mothered them to adulthood.

And let’s also consider how the followers of Jesus believed he was going to overthrow the Roman rule and establish a kingdom for the Jewish people. Their hope was a bit more of a concrete kingdom than the Kingdom of God that Jesus had in mind. So can we be more understanding of this nameless woman who just wanted her boys to succeed? Let’s be forgiving of her and remember the times we have pushed our kids to the front of the line to be noticed or cringed in fear when our kid played goalie on the soccer team.

We want our children to do well, that comes very naturally to moms. But “doing well” means being kind to others, sharing nicely, encouraging the success of others, not just our own kids. Our kids look to us to see how to behave, and that is the best gift we can give them, the gift of a good example. So, dear Zebedee’s wife, mother of James and John, we understand you wanting your sons to be successful; please pray for us that we can be good examples for our kids!

To ponder: Can we think of times we unfairly or unwisely pushed our kids to make ourselves proud? Can we think of times we have shown a good example for our kids and taught them how to treat others?

Gracious God, this vocation of motherhood can be so difficult at times! Help us to teach our kids, through our good example, to treat others with kindness and love…the greatest lesson of all!

 

Heidi Gainan is the mom of three grown and very wonderful kids! She has worked in the blind rehabilitation field for more years than she can count (37!) She recently completed a Spiritual Direction training program, which has been a lovely journey of faith. Please give her blog a peek at The (Almost) Daily Heidi-Gram. This post is reprinted with permission from CatholicMom.com.

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When You Need to be Forgiven

“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors,
You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother
will be liable to judgment…

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar,
and there recall that your brother
has anything against you,
leave your gift there at the altar,
go first and be reconciled with your brother,
and then come and offer your gift.  (Mt 5:20-26)

In 2010, when I first decided to offer Seeking the Peace of Forgiveness retreats, the intention was to focus on my many experiences of forgiving others.  The first retreat was booked for August 2010, and I was busy preparing: asking for prayer support, reading various books – including Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach by R. Scott Hurd (Pauline Books and Media) as well as increasing my time in Eucharistic Adoration.  I was confident in my ability to help participants learn how to forgive. My arrogant confidence would soon be refined, as God quickly and profoundly reminded me of the other side of the forgiveness coin – when you are the one who needs to be forgiven. 

The first lesson came in July, during Vacation Bible School (VBS).  My family and I had participated in VBS at our last two parishes.  My children went first as campers and then later as volunteers and leaders.  In 2010, after recently adopting a little girl from China who was deaf, I retired from any administrative roles and was going as a parent and ASL interpreter for my daughter, Faith. My teenage sons had been volunteered to help, which was not a popular idea especially when it meant getting up at 7 am during summer vacation.

The first day, we were running very late. I was tired, stressed and happened to not be feeling well that morning – all things I could have easily used as excuses for what was about to happen.

We arrived late,  greeted by a group of not-so-friendly parents at the entrance, which I quickly learned was actually the line to enter the building. There was lots of noise and confusion, along with whining from my ‘teenage cherubs’ that added to my preexisting crabby condition. I finally got to the check-in and the hard-working volunteer (who was also the director), handed me a blue t-shirt indicating my Kindergarten daughter had been placed in the preschool group and … I LOST IT!

This was my first opportunity to travel through the VBS stations and I looked forward to sharing that experience with my daughter.  I wanted her to be with children her own age, even though  her language and maturity level were definitely on the younger range. I was NOT patient, nor charitable or kind with my words. The woman’s eyes welled with tears, and she offered to move my daughter to another group. Feeling overwhelmed and just wanting this experience over, I grabbed the t-shirt, mumbled, ‘”No, it is fine”, and off I went to join the main group in opening prayer and song.

After some angry ASL interpreting to the joyful, upbeat VBS welcoming songs, we were escorted into the preschool room. Immediately, I knew I had made a horrible mistake. We entered a room full of absolutely wonderful children, including two little girls, who like my daughter, had special needs. My daughter instantly fell in love with them, her fellow campers and the absolutely remarkable teacher. I instantly knew God’s plan for Faith was WAY better than mine.

At that moment I knew I had two choices. I could put my tail between my legs, find that volunteer, who was merely giving of her time and talent for the spiritual well-being of the children of our parish, and apologize. Or I could hope she’d not gotten a good look at me in the somewhat dark hall that morning, and go upon my day like nothing happened.  Praying for the strength, I decided to search her out and ask for forgiveness. It is never easy to admit when we’ve been a complete nincompoop but I knew it was exactly what I needed to do. Difficult, yes.  Embarrassing, absolutely, but no more than my behavior that morning! Her response was an immediate acceptance of my apology; she lit up with gratitude and surprise. She confided that I was not this first parent to treat her that way during VBS week; however I had been the first to ever come back an ask forgiveness for doing so. I am so glad I did, because this wonderful woman has became one of my most cherished friends.  

Days later, I received a startling email from an old friend, that I had inadvertently hurt a year prior.  Despite numerous attempts to atone and reconcile for my stupidity, her email confirmed those attempts had been to no avail as she was still angry with me and “would be for the rest of her life”.  While this hurt tremendously, but there was a great lesson to be seen in these two parallel encounters.

In both cases, I made terribly inconsiderate, hurtful choices.  In both situations, I offered a sincere apology.  One forgave, the other did not.  From the reconciled relationship has come more blessings than I can count, including a ripple effect of women growing in their faith after the VBS volunteer joined my bible study and invited others to do the same.  

The other relationship remains severed.  While my attempt to reconcile were not accepted, I did what Jesus asked of me in Matthew’s Gospel; I now feel confident approaching the altar blessed by the one who accepted my apology while forever holding the unforgiving friend in my heart.

 

Allison Gingras, founder www.ReconciledToYou.com (RTY);and host of A Seeking Heart on BreadboxMedia.com weekdays 10 am ET.   Allison is an writer and inspirational speaker.  She is a contributing author in “The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion” and the “Created to Relate” Journal and Author of the CareNote from Abbey Press entitled, “Being a Good Enough Parent”.  She presents the Catholic faith lived in the ordinary of everyday life through her experiences and humor.