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The Real Audience

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“Do not try to please everybody. Try to please God, the angels, and the saints – they are your public.”

– St. John Vianney

 

Today is the memorial of St. John Vianney. While I do not know very many details of his life it is apparent that he has made a great impact in the Church. Growing up in a Catholic family, living amongst war in France, and eventually becoming a priest he always devoted his life to God. The quote above is a pivotal message for all of us, and St. John Vianney lived this through his vocation to the priesthood and by serving the poor (a value of which his family instilled while he was growing up).

Today I look for inspiration from the above quote given by this beloved saint. How often do I try to please everyone else? I can tell you the answer is all the time. While I want to please God I know that I am always worried about what others think. Whether it is regarding my conversion to the Catholic faith or the openness to life that my fiance and I will have when we get married it is hard not to face scrutiny for living a life for God when we live in a culture that is so unaware of their need for God.

As we go about life, trying to follow the will of God, we must keep our eyes on Christ and know that we are living for the Kingdom rather than the temporary state we have here on Earth. While we live in the state of historical man, as St. John Paul II calls our state after the fall of Adam and Eve, we are called to live in a way that leads to sainthood: our state in Heaven called eschatological man.

It is tough going into the world. Everyday I have to remind myself that I live for God. Although I often forget this He will remind me of the fact that He is my audience with gentle reminders of His presence. Life is so fast paced, with various demands placed upon us day in and day out. We can choose to live in anxiety about what others think of us on a daily basis or we can choose to let Love reign in our hearts and daily work. Be encouraged to know that God is with you and that He will give you the grace to follow Him, to make Him and all of Heaven your audience. Rejoice as Heaven cheers you on in this race of life.

“In Christ and through Christ humanity has acquired full awareness of its dignity and the meaning of its existence.”

-St. John Paul II

 

Nathalie Hanson is a special education teacher and a joyful convert to the Catholic faith with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD.  Nathalie is engaged to her best friend, Diocesan’s Tommy Shultz, and she is beyond excited to become Mrs. Shultz this October. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.

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Let Your Gifts Be Multiplied

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How often do we find ourselves feeling as though we have nothing to offer, that the call God has for us is impossible because of all that we lack in our humanness? I find myself in this state often, doubting my ability to live up to the vocation that God calls me to. How can I possibly love others in my life if I have a hard time loving myself, and how can I take care of others when I so often struggle to take care of myself?

All of these doubts melt away when I read the Gospel for today. We see the power of God to make something out of essentially nothing when Jesus takes the minimal loaves and fishes the Apostles provide Him with to feed the 5,000 people that came to Him on the mountain. If God can do this and so many other miracles, and with unlimited power, how can we doubt all of the miracles that He can and wants to perform through us?

With my OCD comes a great anxiety of the future. While I know God has beautiful plans ahead for me I can often find myself in fear, and the root of my fear is obsessions regarding thoughts of failure. I am so excited to get married in two months, and I know my fiancé is my best friend that will be on this crazy journey of life with me as we pursue God’s will. Any fear I have stems from the unknown and my past weaknesses. Will I be able to take care of my husband as he needs and as God calls me? Will we be able to provide for the little ones that we pray God blesses us with, providing for all of their basic needs and for the dreams they will grow to hold for their lives?Loving other souls is such a great responsibility, and I worry about being able to be the best wife and mom, often comparing myself with others and my weaknesses.

While I often ponder these questions my fiancé reassures me of how well I love him and how God will give us the graces we need if and when we are blessed with children. Within this answer lies the key to the storms in my heart being calmed: God will equip myself and my fiancé through the graces of the Sacrament of marriage to be able to love one another and any future children He may bless us with. In Scripture we can see many called by God that felt unworthy to take up the mission God gave to them because of their weaknesses, but the pattern we continue to see is God equips those that are called, rather than calling those that are already equipped.  

In our weaknesses we can further lean on the Lord and rely upon Him. He is our Father and He will raise us up to answer the call to love that He has asked of us. All we need is a willing heart and to trust that any anxiety that creates a storm in our hearts will be soothed by the graces God provides. When we place all of our trust in God and let Him multiply the gifts He has already given us, in combination with Him providing us with additional gifts along the journey, we can truly become who we were born to become on our journey to sainthood.

I encourage you to trust in our Lord: trust in the beautiful plans He has for your life, offer all of your anxiety to Him, and wait in joyful anticipation as He continues to multiply the gifts you possess (even gifts you may not be aware of yet). He greatly desires to perform miracles in and through you, and all He asks is that you lay your life down at His feet so that you can be His hands and feet to those He places in your life. Be encouraged to know that God is going to work through you in beautiful ways, giving you everything that you need to love others with wherever He has you in life.  Just like the loaves and fishes, let Christ make things new through you: let your gifts be multiplied.

 

“Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.”

St. Augustine

“Do not forget that when the Lord calls, He also provides the necessary strength and grace to answer His call.”

St. John Paul II

 

Nathalie Hanson is a special education teacher and a joyful convert to the Catholic faith with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD.  Nathalie is engaged to her best friend, Diocesan’s Tommy Shultz, and she is beyond excited to become Mrs. Shultz this October. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.

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Hope In A Name

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“And in his name the Gentiles will hope.” – Matthew 12:21

“I plead with you! Never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.” – St. John Paul II

Hope is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen”, “a person or thing that may help save someone”, and “grounds for believing that something good may happen”. Within these definitions we can see the Creator in each and every one of them. Christ’s resurrection gives us a desire for His return and our full union with the Lord in the Kingdom. Christ was sent by the Father to save us through His love and the gift of the Holy Spirit. God’s promises provide us with the grounds for trusting that He will come for us and that we are called to eternity with Him. Even amidst the gift of Christ’s sacrifice, all of these witnesses of God’s love through the Trinity, and the promises that God keeps and will continue to keep it can be difficult to keep hope in sight.

The past few years have been a crazy ride. My life has drastically changed for the better, and has been full of great excitement. Although God has done and continues to provide such great blessings in my life (and the lives of those around me) I can feel a loss of hope in the small daily moments due to life’s struggles. It can be difficult for me to keep in mind all of the blessings when something tough in life comes my way, in which I feel as though I am being robbed of hope and joy.

I have such a gift in the fact that God brought me home to the Catholic Church over three years ago, as I now know I can continue to call upon the name of Jesus to maintain my hope and joy in this life. While the Lord has brought many great gifts into my life, I often feel hopeless in that I am unsure if I can handle it all. Marriage in October to my best friend is one of the joys that God has called me to as I live out my vocation to love. Teaching special education is an additional way He calls me to love His children. For the next two years I will be enrolled in graduate school to further my teaching skills to better support my kiddos in the classroom, hoping to foster independence for each of them by God pouring love upon them through me.  

While at times I may feel overwhelmed by my desire to grow in love for all of the people in my life, at times feeling as though I am not equipped to handle it all, calling upon the name of Jesus brings hope in many ways: the unconditional love and friendship of my fiancé, the positive relationships built with my students, and the support of many loved ones. Ultimately the name of Jesus whispers hope to my soul. Amidst the craziness of life, including the joys and the sorrows, I am reminded of God’s continual presence in my life when His name crosses my heart throughout the little moments of each day.

I encourage you to call upon the name of Jesus. When you feel a need to pray, but don’t have the words, say His name and trust in the hope that He promises with His peace and love. Be encouraged that He has you right where you should be, that His plans for your life are perfect, and that these times are helping you to grow in trust of His love and in hope of His promises.

Nathalie Hanson is a special education teacher and a joyful convert to the Catholic faith with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD.  Nathalie is engaged to her best friend, Diocesan’s Tommy Shultz, and she is beyond excited to become Mrs. Shultz this October. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.

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Conversions Woven Throughout Life

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On this feast day of St. Peter and St. Paul I look back upon the journey the Lord has led me on and where He has me going. It seems like my life has been filled with conversions; some conversions very much so interior (and only noticeable to myself) and some major exterior conversions visible to all.

In the Gospel reading for today Simon Peter proclaims the true identity of Christ, demonstrating his proclamation of faith in all that the Lord has revealed. With this profession of faith, Jesus gives Simon Peter the new title of “Peter”. What is the significance of this name change? We see this happen many times throughout scripture.  We can look at the patterns (Old Testament and New Testament) and we can see that something very big happens with a name change: a call to conversion through a change in the God given mission bestowed upon the person. Peter became the root that our Apostolic Faith was set upon, growing in strength of faith as “the rock” upon which our faith is established in Christ. Paul became a warrior for the Kingdom, converting from his days of persecuting Christians and growing a heart with so much love for Christ that it could not be contained.

Whatever your vocation to love may be, wherever God has you right now, you are called to conversion. He may have you on the road accepting small conversions (letting someone go ahead of you in traffic, holding the door for others, taking more time to read scripture daily, connecting with family, etc.) in order to lead up to the great and beautiful conversion that will be an integral part of your life’s story, your love story with our Savior.  

I recall when my mission changed on the night of Easter Vigil 2015, when I was given the name Peter after St. Peter the Apostle (my confirmation saint). While going through the RCIA process that prior year, and by studying the Church years before that point, I could always identify with Peter in how he denied Christ three times. I myself denied the call to become Catholic three times before finally giving my fiat to the conversion He was drawing my heart to. I will experience another name change in October of this year by becoming Mrs. Shultz, with my conversion involving making a gift of myself to my soon-to-be husband and the domestic church we will establish together with God as our center.  

When I think about my vocational conversion, my conversion to the Catholic faith, and all the little conversions leading up to where I am now I am reminded of how beautiful it is that God wants to take us exactly the way we are and call us to greatness. He does not call those who already have everything they need to complete a mission, but rather He calls those that have open hearts to receive all the graces needed to be able to live out the mission they have been given for the Kingdom.  

Be encouraged by the examples of St. Peter, a fisherman that ended up being the rock the Church is built upon, and St. Paul, a past persecutor of the faith that ended up being a devoted servant of our Lord and Savior that shared the Gospel with the world. God took these two men, who started out not equipped to fulfill the missions before them, and gave them all the graces they needed to live their lives for Him. If you give God open arms and an open heart, accepting life’s little conversions along the way, God will equip you for greatness in the mission He has placed you on in this life. When we lovingly accept this mission with faith and trust that is when our journey towards sainthood surges to new heights, for we are all called to join our hearts to Heaven and answering these calls make this joining of heart and Heaven a reality. St. Peter and St. Paul, pray for us!

“On the day of my conversion Charity entered into my heart and with it a yearning to forget self always; thenceforward I was happy.”

St. Thérèse of Lisieux

Nathalie Hanson is a special education teacher and a joyful convert to the Catholic faith with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD.  Nathalie is engaged to her best friend, Diocesan’s Tommy Shultz, and she is beyond excited to become Mrs. Shultz this October. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.

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Hope In Suffering

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Today is Trinity Sunday and the readings today make me recall all that God has brought me through in the past year: my OCD diagnosis, my doubts and fears of life transitions he has brought my way, and ultimately the hope He has instilled in me through all the trials and sufferings.  

Suffering is a huge gift, and we as Catholics believe this. While this is counter cultural in our society, as the world prefers to have things happen with the least amount of suffering possible, it is important that we spread the Good News that is born anew through this suffering. When we suffer, we realize just how small we are, and how great God is. The Lord is the foundation of everything, we can do nothing without Him. Suffering reminds us to redirect our hearts to Him and join our sufferings with the Cross and His most Sacred Heart.

Everyday is a battlefield within me as I am going through OCD.  While I have the loving support of those that care about me I am always my worst enemy. I get in my head and worry what others think about me, I am anxious that bad things will happen to the ones I love, I struggle with scrupulosity, and I always worry about the future. These obsessions come out through my compulsions of checking that everything is off and locked in my home, along with other daily rituals.

Sometimes I feel so trapped within myself as I suffer, and so tired of keeping up the good fight. When I begin to face these struggles I remember the words of my spiritual director, Fr. James Adams. He reminded me during one of our marriage preparation sessions that God has a plan for me that includes the suffering of my OCD by asking the question, “Have you ever considered that your OCD helps you to be more like Christ?” Ever since this question my life has changed, my suffering has become a gift, and God has brought me back to the fundamental truth of how much I need Him.

Whatever your cross is to bear in this life, be encouraged. God desires to work miracles through you with the cross He has given you, the suffering that you are enduring. Remember that no matter how dark it may seem at times in life the Lord is a great beacon of light, the Light of the World. Continue to unite your sufferings with the Crucifix, allowing God to make you new and Christ like through your suffering. Know that the Spirit is working within you at this very moment, and will help you to eternal life. As St. Paul says in today’s second reading from Romans 8,

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.”

Live in the hopeful anticipation of being one with Christ, hope for eternal life, hope for the day when we can finally gaze upon the face of our Lord.

 

“We are an Easter People and Alleluia is our song!”

~St. John Paul II

Nathalie Hanson is a special education teacher and a joyful convert to the Catholic faith with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD.  Nathalie is engaged to her best friend, Diocesan’s Tommy Shultz, and she is beyond excited to become Mrs. Shultz this October. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.

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Being a Witness in the World

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An image of St. Teresa of Calcutta, some of her quotes in frames, and a rosary on my desk. This is how I witness to the power of Christ in my classroom, which is located in a public school setting. While I know I cannot teach about my faith as a public school employee, I can have these signs visible to my students and anyone who walks in my room to point to all of the good works the Lord has done and continues to do. If my students ask about any of these things, I tell them about the life of St. Teresa of Calcutta and how she served others and how she won a Nobel Peace Prize. I let students hold my rosary and look at all of the features it entails (I keep it at my desk, and sometimes it will catch a student’s eyes). When students ask me about the Divine Mercy bracelet I wear, I simply say it means Love. This is the best way that I can share Christ to the young minds I work with without saying the name of Jesus.

In today’s Gospel reading, Christ says “Go into the whole world and proclaim the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15). No matter where you are in life, and where God has you, He calls you to preach the Gospel. We are to live in hope, knowing that in the name of Jesus miracles will happen. It is easy to feel fear in today’s world with all of the persecution and twisted views of human dignity.

How do we go about fighting these vices with hope rather than living in fear? We must call upon the name of Jesus. If you are in a setting where you can openly share about Christ that is awesome! Lovingly get to know the person you are evangelizing to, for we must know someone at the human level before we can enter into the intimate spiritual realm with them. The person needs to feel loved for who they are rather than feel like they are part of an agenda to be saved.  It may take time to build this relationship, but God’s timing is perfect and He knows exactly what He is doing.

What do you do if you work in a public service setting, where you cannot openly share about the faith out of respecting the backgrounds of those you work with? First of all, always keep hope. God will work through you in ways you can’t imagine as long as you keep your eyes on Him and the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Ask Mary for her guidance in loving those around you with tenderness and compassion, seeing each person for their human dignity uniquely given to them by God.  

One way that you can have signs of your faith visible in a public service setting is to have an image of a saint in your workspace. I chose St. Teresa of Calcutta because she motivates me as a special education teacher and because she has a beautiful witness of loving others that is easy for my students to see. I can talk about the love she had for others without mentioning the name of Christ, and thus still be a witness to God because He is Love.

Another unique thing that you can do without others even noticing is use Holy Water on the spaces that will be utilized during the work day so that you are asking for God’s blessing before the day even begins. I do this every morning on all the desks my students will use, the door into my classroom, and any other furniture we will be using for learning activities. Walking around and using Holy Water to make a cross provides me with peace and also helps remind me of the servant’s heart that I desire to have throughout the day for my kiddos.

Ultimately, wherever God has you serving others you can be a witness to Christ with or without saying His name by the acts of love that you pour unto others, the joy that you display, and the mercy that you share throughout the day. In a world filled with darkness, we must be beacons pointing to Christ, the true Light. Even if someone does not realize that they are seeing Jesus in the ways you go about your day, your witness will cause them to see something different in you, something that directs them to hope in the possibility of goodness and light. God bless you and the journey He has placed you on!

“Do small things with great love.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta

“Courage, dear heart.” – C.S. Lewis

Nathalie Hanson is a special education teacher and a joyful convert to the Catholic faith with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  She loves to share her passion for Catholicism with others, including her conversion story and how God continues to work miracles in her life through her OCD.  Nathalie is engaged to her best friend, Diocesan’s Tommy Shultz, and she is beyond excited to become Mrs. Shultz this October. Her favorite saints include St. Peter the Apostle, St. Teresa of Calcutta, and St. John Paul II.  If you have any questions for Nathalie, or just want her to pray for you, you can email her at rodzinkaministry@gmail.com.