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Be Fair, Be Safe, Be Kind

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“Do not complain, brothers and sisters, about one another, that you may not be judged.” (James 5:9)

The first line of today’s first reading hit me like a rock right between the eyes. I consider myself one of the world’s worst offenders in this department. I’m such a groaner! When someone doesn’t think like I do, or act the way I think they should, or dress in a certain way or rubs me the wrong way, I complain to my close-knit circle. But what does complaining have to do with judging? Complaining often turns to criticizing and criticizing to judging. It’s a vicious circle.

One Lent, instead of giving up sweets or coffee, I decided to give up complaining. Let me tell you, I spent a lot of time in silence! It was one of my most challenging Lents. I never would have fathomed how often I would have to bite my tongue. It helped me to realize how I was called to follow the example of our Lord to be “kind and merciful.” (Psalm Response)

This is the first year my husband and I have had a child attend school and it has been a whole new venture for us. We have learned so much, but one of my favorite things has been the school motto: “Be Fair, Be Safe, Be Kind”. Not only have I been able to use it as a teaching tool with my preschooler, but I have repeated it to myself over and over again as well. So often I have to remind myself to be kind. And kindness doesn’t only mean biting my tongue or not criticizing, it also means stepping out of the bounds of my complacency and giving that compliment or flashing that smile or voicing that exuberant “thank you”.

It takes a significant effort to forgo complaining and be kind, but no one ever said it would be easy to follow Christ on the straight and narrow path. We make that choice because we love Him and because we long to spend all eternity with Him. So upward and onward, my friends!

“Merciful and gracious is the Lord,

Slow to anger and abounding in kindness…

As the heavens are high above the earth,

So surpassing is his kindness…

Tami Urcia is wife and mother to her small army of boys. She works full time at Diocesan and is a freelance translator and blogger (BlessedIsShe.net and CatholicMom.com) She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances, and finding unique ways to love. Tami spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree. Her favorite things to do are spending time outside with the kiddos, quiet conversation with the hubby, and an occasional break from real life by getting a pedicure or a haircut. You can find out more about her here.

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Everlasting Joy

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“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.” (Jn 15:9)

It is so easy to gloss past these familiar words, but let them sink in for a moment. Just how deeply does the Father love the Son? So profoundly that the Holy Spirit “proceeds” from their love. It could not be contained in two Persons, They needed a Third! And the Son loves me in the exact same way?? How is that possible?! Now that is some amazing love!

And what is the fruit of knowing His amazing love? JOY! If we know that Jesus loves us to the extent He loves His Father, we should be filled to overflowing with joy. “I have told you this so that my joy might be in you, and your joy might be complete.” (Jn 15:11) Is this not what we all seek? To be happy and joyful? But perhaps we don’t find it because we are looking in all the wrong places.

My husband and I are often guilty of this. We live on a very tight budget. Throw in Catholic School tuition and you just broke the bank. Yet we recently started getting the itch for a new home with a big backyard for the little ones to expend some of their endless energy. We also have two older vehicles and would love a new SUV…just a small one, so my husband won’t feel so claustrophobic in the car, ya know… and the wish list just grows and grows.

We want this and we want that and before you know it, we begin to sound like our kids who do not yet understand that they can’t have everything they want when they want it! Perhaps it is in fact childish, but to some degree, we believe that having these things will make us happy. If only we could send the boys outside to play in a fenced-in backyard when they get rambunctious…if only our car didn’t burn antifreeze, we would be happy (or at least relieved of one more burden). But would these things bring us joy? True, deep, everlasting joy? I seriously doubt it.

Our joy comes from our friendship with God and the love He has for us. “I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you.” (Jn 15:15) We have been called into the very life and friendship of God!

But as with most things in our Christian journey through life, there is a catch. In order to take part in this divine life, we must do what He commands, bear fruit that remains, and love one another. In other words, we have some work to do! We are loved, we are invited into joy, we are friends with God, but we have to put a little elbow grease and sweat equity into it. And if we do, our joy will truly be complete and our reward (God’s infinite love) will truly be great in heaven.

Tami Urcia is wife and mother to her small army of boys. She works full time at Diocesan and is a freelance translator and blogger (BlessedIsShe.net and CatholicMom.com) She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances, and finding unique ways to love. Tami spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree. Her favorite things to do are spending time outside with the kiddos, quiet conversation with the hubby, and an occasional break from real life by getting a pedicure or a haircut. You can find out more about her here.

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Divine Pruning

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Does anyone else want to just cringe after hearing about all the pruning happening in today’s Gospel? “He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit and everyone that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.”

It makes me think of taking out splinters or porcupine quills or cactus spines! Ouch!! I know I have vices and shortcomings but I am comfortable with them and I would rather not change. I mean I’m not THAT bad of a person, right?  

But Jesus doesn’t want us to be “good enough”, He wants to perfect us. So splinter by splinter, quill by quill and spine by spine, He wears down our excuses, our faults and our shortcomings with His love and guides us along the way to salvation.

The deeper we allow ourselves to delve into this passage, the more beautiful it becomes: “Remain in me as I remain in you… If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.” What a comfort, what a joy, what a relief to remain in God! To remain in His loving embrace, His gentle guidance, His hopeful promise!

When my husband was 17, he had a near-death experience on the operating table during an appendectomy. His heart stopped and his soul hovered over his body in the room for an instant before seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and the silhouette of our beloved Lord. He felt such an indescribable peace, love and joy that he wanted to stay there forever, yet an instant later, his heart was shocked and his soul returned to his body. He experienced, if only for a split second, what it meant to remain in God. And we have the opportunity to do the same with our decisions, our attitudes and our ministries each and every day.

Today we honor St. Athanasius, a man who understood what it meant to remain in God. He was sent to exile many times and endured much persecution because of His unwillingness to believe the Arian heresy. He defended the divinity of Jesus, remaining in His truth, no matter what human suffering it caused. What a great example for us!

So I would like to invite each of you today to allow Jesus to prune and perfect you, no matter how painful it may be, and to remain always in His everlasting love.

Tami Urcia is wife and mother to her small army of boys. She works full time at Diocesan, a Catholic communication company, and is a freelance translator and blogger (BlessedIsshe.net and Catholicmom.com) She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances, and finding unique ways to love. Tami spent young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree. Her favorite things to do are spending time outside with the kiddos, quiet conversation with the hubby, and an occasional break from real life by getting a pedicure or a haircut. You can find out more about her here.