Tag: Matthew Juliano

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I love Jesus. And the older I grow, the more I grow in understanding of Him and love of Him.

Despite my failings, He continues to transform from the historic, static figure that I knew as a child into a living and relatable person.

After reading this passage, I like to imagine being around Jesus at church or a party and just sharing small talk about the weather. “Hey Jesus, are you freezing too?! Man, It went from summer to winter back to fall to winter again in a week.” “Right?! My toes are freezing. I need to get real shoes.”

 I would love to share quality time with Jesus, maybe sharing a drink with Him… and if we run out, we don’t have to run to the store.

The Gospels hit the highlights of Jesus’ life. They’re like a Facebook feed of His life: just the important parts. But there’s far more of His life that is undocumented in the Gospels.

In Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, there is a scene that shows Jesus building a table at Mary’s home. They laugh playfully together as they test His new item. He lived this life. He knows our experience. He knows what it feels like to be sweaty and uncomfortable. He knows what it’s like to taste the deliciously cooked food and taste good wine.

He knows especially our struggle. I think that’s why I want to imagine sharing small talk about the weather or some other shared experience because I know He can relate. That’s usually why we share small talk, so we can make a connection with another person.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin. So let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help.

Jesus, He lived it; He gets it.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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The Good Samaritan; a difficult story to reflect upon without being banal and writing a thought that has been shared before. This is a story that is so integrated into our society that we even have a law named after it. Though most people cannot describe the finer points of the legal code or recount the parable verbatim, I’m confident that everyone from the practicing Catholic to the non-church-goer can surmise that “The Good Samaritan” has something to do with being available to aid individuals who have an immediate need.

But to what measure do we help?

 By Jesus’ standards, we ought to respond to those around us by saying: “I will take care of you until you are well.”

 In His story, Jesus creates a portrait of a Christian with the Samaritan, one whose foremost quality is generosity. The authentic followers of Christ that I know personally, though they differ in many ways on a superficial level, are similar in their capacity to be absurdly generous. And they give in different ways.

My dear friend, band mate, and soon to be one of my best men Douglas Hutchings is generous monetarily. Over the past 11 years, he has paid for more of my friends’ and my dinners than I can remember… and it is never when he is asked to cover the bill; he sees an opportunity to care for his loved ones and takes the initiative.

My Spiritual Director, Sr. Marie Pappas, is generous with her time and attention, never wanting in patience, allowing me the freedom and opportunity to celebrate, lament and query about my life for upwards of 3 hours in a session and never making me feel like I’m taking her away from something more important.

These persons in my life, like the Samaritan in the parable, like Jesus, proclaim to their beloved through their actions: “I will take care of you until you are well.”

 Be available.

 Be generous.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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“Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do…

I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”

Matthew 9:12-13

 

A personal resolution I made at the beginning of the year was to

“Live like a rehabbing sinner.”

 

This mantra has its origins from an experience I had in the winter of 2017 when I accidentally walked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I had a spiritually edifying conversation about the AA recovery program with one of its members. That encounter made me curious to learn more about the process of AA and other 12-step programs. The first step is very similar to a repentant sinner: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” The beginning of the journey to Christ is to make this admission about any and all sin that is ruling our life.

Later on in that year, my dad lent me the biography of Fr. Mychal Judge. He is famously known for being the first recorded death in the World Trade Center attack on September 11, 2001. He was a Franciscan, a NYC firehouse chaplain and he was also a recovering alcoholic who went through the 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous program. He was actually already ordained and serving others as a priest when he realized that he needed help for his addiction.

Thornton Wilder, a playwright and novelist, is quoted in the book

“In Love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve.”

He credited much of the fruitfulness in his ministry to the fact that he had real struggles of his own. And it was because of his suffering that he was able to love others well, not in spite of it.

We are both patient and assistant to the Divine Physician, but we are only ‘assistant’ because we are first His patients. We are always a patient in need of attention and care. We are perpetually in convalescence and simultaneously working to earn the trust of the other sick and suffering people who need the care of the Divine Physician. That is the work of a disciple.

And just as we need to make a consistent effort towards recovery after corporal surgery, so too do we need a kind of therapy for spiritual matters.

“with all humility and gentleness, with patience,
bearing with one another through love,
striving to preserve the unity of the Spirit
through the bond of peace”

Ephesians 4:2-3

 

Therapy is a painful process, but we will be all the better for it.

Disclose your condition.

 Trust the Physician.

 Grow in the Divine Life.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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The Gospel is calling us to choose suffering so we can be detached from creation and be more like our Creator, Love, and inherit eternal life.

I used to think and hope that heaven was just a divine junket that goes on forever and ever and ever. But then it’d just sound like a snobby, exclusive club reserved for the all-star religious people whom God likes most.

And that is not heaven (so far as I can tell).

The angels and saints seem to have an extensive to-do list. The number of Marian apparitions and miracles by saintly intervention are proof that those in heaven don’t have their feet up on some celestial shoreline and drinking a cold one. They are very involved with the Church.

“I will spend my heaven doing good on earth.”

-St. Therese of Lisieux

So why should we choose to suffer? To weep, to be poor, to endure hate?

Because by choosing to suffer, we prepare for the eternal exchange of love.

I like to think of the spiritual, psychological and even bodily suffering that Christ invites us to endure as God’s divine workout plan.

Lifting weights and running don’t always feel great, but when we need to rely on our health and strength for a competition, we understand why it was necessary to endure the discomfort of exercising.

Similarly, the discomforts that Christ talks about will prepare us for heaven. It is by choosing to be poor, to weep, to sacrifice status for His name’s sake that we prepare for an eternity of loving.

“The world offers you comfort but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”

-Pope Benedict XVI

You were made for heaven.

You were made to love.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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“The cross cannot be defeated for it is defeat.”

-G.K. Chesterton

The first reading is quite the encounter with Christ: explicit yet enigmatic, demanding yet alluring. I frequently go to the movies for work. In the past two years, I’ve seen just about every superhero movie that has been released. Spiderman, Thor: Ragnarock, Guardians of the Galaxy –  you name it, I’ve seen it it.

At the end of every saga, the victor is the person or group of people who has defeated their enemy by outmuscling or outwitting them with greater force and cunning strategy. And I think we like these stories because that’s how wars of the flesh are won; the strongest and smartest take the spoils.

You’d be hard-pressed to find a Marvel screenplay writer or a military officer who’d think that it’s a good idea to freely choose to give the leader to the enemy, allow them to physically torment him and then kill him.

“Yeah boys. No way we can’t win.

Whadaya say? Great plan, right?!”

If I was under the command of an officer who proposed this plan, I’d probably  definitely think he was insane. But that’s exactly what Christ did on the cross. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

The absurdity of the cross can be lost on many of us who have grown up with Christ’s story.

…But it’s insane!

We commemorate, follow, praise a Man who chose suffering and death. We call Him King. And the image we oft see of Him is the episode of His humiliating death. Jesus’ marketing plan is to show Himself killed on a cross.

Starkly dissimilar to Christ’s initiative to spread His message, Marvel and military posters portray their subjects as strong and capable. These are images that people want to see. Why is it that the centerpiece of the Christian faith is Our Lord and Savior crippled and defeated on a cross?

“For Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom,

but we proclaim Christ crucified…

…the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

1 Cor 1: 22-23, 25

Perhaps Christ’s death was so gruesome because He wanted to show us that no amount of force that humanity possesses can destroy His affection for us and desire to be close to us.

“My Love is greater than the whips that, at man’s hand, bloodied My Body,

I am uncompromised by the crown of thorns that pierced My head,

and I am not defeated by the profound torture and mockery of the cross.

I love you.”

 

Jesus, I love You.

Make us more like You.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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“Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich
to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you,
it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”

“And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters
or father or mother or children or lands
for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more,
and will inherit eternal life.”

Jesus’ words are beautiful. Poetic. Appealing to the romantic in me:

“Deny everything and everyone for my sake.”

Nothing can compete with God’s love in order for us to have it entirely. But that’s like any relationship. If composing these reflections becomes more important than giving my fiancé my attention, then the relationship will suffer. So too is it with Christ; if we are preoccupied by anything more than His will, then the relationship will suffer.

This is a constant battle to fight. I wish it wasn’t. I wish that when we were baptized, any and all duplicity and concupiscence (the tendency to sin) were just decimated and Jesus would be like,

“Ok, you’re all set, dude. Now, just be cool for the rest of your time on earth and when you’re time’s up there, I got a sweet spot for you up here.”

But no.

Everyday, we have to choose Him over everything and everyone else. There can be landmark moments in our lives when we truly decided to put Christ before everything and everyone else, i.e. quitting a job, selling or giving away possessions. But everyday afterwards, we have to choose to not be ruled by them.

“You posses your possessions or they posses you.”

-Jon Foreman of Switchfoot in the song “If The House Burns Down Tonight”

We can be destitute and still have the handicap of a rich man: his preoccupation with wealth. Being preoccupied with wealth isn’t the only trap we can fall into. Power, honor and pleasure can also keep us preoccupied from pursuing God’s will. But none are as satisfying, as fulfilling, as lasting as denying ourselves and being obedient to God.

Fight the good fight.

Pursue God at the price of everything.

Live to the full.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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There are a handful of times when I remember God made his plan pretty clear to me. The first time was when I was on my eighth grade confirmation retreat. The retreat leader, Tony Bellizzi, led us through a meditation during which Jesus gives us a gift. My gift was music, I was sure of it!

Six months later, I auditioned for Full Armor Band; I’ve been keeping time since summer 2007. All through high school and college, at a time when I really asked “what am I supposed to be doing with my life?”, I heard so many different answers: “you should be a teacher.” “you should be a nurse or PA.” All of these were suggested for the pragmatic reasons: they make money.

But I never forgot about that retreat meditation and how my heart truly longed to write and play music. It wasn’t until failing out of a competitive Physician Assistant program and going through a bit of a depression when I finally decided to follow God’s promptings in my heart to play music.

On All Saint’s Day of 2013, the priest at Mass said in his homily that “a saint is a person who follows God’s plan for their life.” After Mass, I met my mom at my dorm, packed up my things and I went home so I could pursue what I believed to be God’s plan for my life: music!

And I did! My band really expanded our territory, I grew as a songwriter and we collaborated to write an album (which was groundbreaking for us).

However, there were large intervals of time between our trips and writing sessions, so I had to go back to my high school job as a petroleum transfer engineer
(aka gas attendant).

I thought I was just kind of waiting for my band to get more attention… until I found myself interviewing for the position as a person who provides support to individuals with developmental and intellectual disabilities. And the only reason I did is that I was praying during mass in front of a family with a son who has autism (and slightly more, but that’s a story for a different time).

I have been doing the job now for 2 years. If you asked me five years ago if I’d be interested in working with individuals who have autism or down syndrome, I may have said that I’m confident God is calling me to do music and that is where my focus and energy should stay.

But when I heard the suffering and need of those in my community, in my church, I was sure that God was calling me to serve in this way as well.

In the Gospel, it seems like this is Jesus’ mindset: At that time Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out,

“Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon.”

But he did not say a word in answer to her. His disciples came and asked him, “Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.” He said in reply, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But the woman came and did him homage, saying, “Lord, help me.” He said in reply, “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.”

Firstly, He didn’t even answer her. And near the end of this section, he compares ministering to her as taking food from children and giving it to dogs.

Ouch!

Jesus, what’s the deal?! I thought You were supposed to be the sandal-wearing, long-haired hippie “love everyone” kind of guy?

But this passage seems to be an interesting account of Jesus growing in His humanity and understanding of God the Father’s plan for Him to live and die for all, not just the Israelites.

He knew He was here for “the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But plans seemed to change when He recognized those that were crying out for Him.

However confident we may be in God the Father’s plan for our life, there seems to be a perennial opportunity to be surprised at how little we know of what He wants.

But the message seems clear;
Respond to the suffering near.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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The Lord is my Shepherd… but sometimes I wonder what He wants. And why He is leading me where He is. In late 2015, life was good. My relationships were good, my professional life was ok; things were generally stable.

“for his name’s sake.”

And then God prompts, “You need to get tattoos.” That sounded like the stupidest thing I could have done; particularly because my relationship with my parents, which was previously rocky, was then harmonious. They don’t care for tattoos, so it didn’t make any sense in my mind to get them. But God kept pressing me until one day I finally found myself in a tattoo parlor.

“for his name’s sake.”

Flash-forward a couple of months; I got my second tattoo which is the ninth station of the cross. It is placed on my inner left forearm. I put it there so people will see it! When you first get a tattoo, you’re excited about it and can’t stop looking at it. But then after a while it is easy to forget about. There have been a number of occasions where I was sitting casually resting my arm (and unintentionally showing my tattoo) when people would see it and assume I was a person of faith (which they are right). Each time, I ended up having an edifying conversation with them about life, faith and the Church simply because they saw my ink.

“for his name’s sake.”

Never would I have assumed that tattoos could be a bridge for a relationship and present an opportunity for evangelizing.

Go where He leads you.

“for his name’s sake.”

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Since they do not fear the LORD,
what can the king do for them?

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the times in my life that are marked by providence are also the times that I chose to trust. Fear of LORD is less like terror and more like a respect or trust for Who He is.

Trust.

It is impossible to have a sincere, intimate relationship with any person (human or divine) if we do not trust them. So to it is with God; what can He do for us if we do not trust Him?

Trust is difficult to choose, especially if we’ve been hurt, betrayed, manipulated or misguided. We should only trust if we have good reason.

I trust my friend Tara to speak the truth about the nature of Physics because she holds a Bachelors Degree in Physics. She has proven capable to be trustworthy in this realm of knowing. What has Christ done to be proven capable of our trust in Him?

The centerpiece of our faith: The Crucifixion.

It can be difficult to feel an intimacy with the cross; it is easier to observe it as an isolated historical event. And maybe it would remain just that… if we did not have the Eucharist.

The Eucharist, the gift of Himself, His suffering heart. The crucifixion was an event, but we are invited to receive the graces of the suffering at each Mass. His heart beats in the Eucharist. He is living and loving us.

Since they do not fear the LORD,
what can the king do for them?

We are given many reasons to trust Christ. But until we do, what can He do for us?

Look to His Death.

Hope for new life.

Trust it is true.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Jesus said to his disciples:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” –Matthew 6:19-21

I went to a minor league baseball game with one of the fellows I support the other day. It happened to be a “school day” which means most of the stadium was filled with elementary school-aged kids.

I was looking forward to watching some baseball. Before the first pitch left the pitchers hand, five beach balls were served into the crowd for the kids to hit and play with during the game.

“oh boy.”

The organizers are smart; they know that these kids need to have a memorable time so that they will come back with their families and buy more tickets.

It turned into two separate events: recess for kids in the stands and a minor league baseball game on the field.

In between innings, the announcer proclaimed to the audience

“WHO WANTS T-SHIRTS?!”

 Stadium staff then strut on top of the dugout to throw out whatever toy or memorabilia that they are giving away. The kids stand in a chorus of pleas and waving arms to receive a Frisbee or bouncy ball that is stamped with the home team emblem.

Even the fellow I was with that day couldn’t resist the hype. He caught a Frisbee that had a gift certificate to a seafood restaurant on the back.

I’ve never seen him throw a Frisbee in the year and a half that I’ve worked with him and he doesn’t eat seafood… but he decided to keep both anyway.

Perhaps it is because I’ve been to minor league games and received these little toys, but I’ve never prized the trinkets or shirts quite as passionately as I begged and screamed for them. And I have a hunch these kids might not either.

But it is so indoctrinated in us American folk to long for and rely on “stuff”. “Oh my gosh, it’s a bouncy ball, I need that bouncy ball in my liiiiiiiife!” “ It’s a t-shirt that might not fit me. I NEED IT!!!!!!!!”

 To their credit, they are kids. But the principle that they are following is seen in some adults as well.

“You should pick up a trade, plenty of money to be made there.” “If you went back to college you could increase your pay.”

 Just a few things “successful” adults have tried to suggest to me.

More things=more happiness

This formula is used in our commercials and arts. But it’s faulty.

But store up treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal.

 Invest in the things that won’t wither away. Save up the treasures of heaven.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him. He began to teach them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you
and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.
Rejoice and be glad,
for your reward will be great in heaven.
Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

What a rich selection of readings.

I want to say everything because the Beatitudes sing such a beautiful song, but I also want to say nothing because they are perfect as they are.

I suppose somewhere in between everything and nothing will have to do.

“Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

 

Reading this verse reminds me of an encounter I had at an event a number of years ago. My band was leading worship for Adoration; the drums aren’t a vital role in leading people through quiet/reflective prayer, so I will take breaks to kneel and pray during the Holy Hour. As I was at this event, I felt the Holy Spirit inviting (or nudging) me to leave the stage. I didn’t know why, but it was pretty clear I should walk away from the drums.

Nerves and courage pulling me both ways, I finally decided to make my way down the stairs of the theater-made-church and kneel next to the teens attending the event.

What am I supposed to be doing?

Maybe I am supposed to pray with them?

I asked the teen at the end of the 1^st row if they would pray with me and invite the rest of the row to join.

1^st row.

2^nd row.

3^rd row.

When I inched back to the 4^th row, I heard hysterical crying. Years later I still don’t know why this adult volunteer was weeping, but I put my arm on her shoulder and by the Holy Spirit I said:

“Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.”

Amidst tears, with a sigh of healing and an affirming nod, she thanked me.

We both turned towards the Tabernacle in thanksgiving, she because she didn’t mourn without being comforted, and I for the unique privilege to love her at that moment in that particular way.

Many have described the Beatitudes as “instructions for a happy life”. And I agree. However, I also believe the Beatitudes are a portrait of a Christian who is sincerely guided by the Holy Spirit.

We just need to say yes!

Yes to the invitation to be close to Him, and we need to be continually saying yes. He will equip us to be merciful, to be a peacemaker, to be a comforter. Blessed are they who subscribe to the Beatitudes, for their life will be awesome.

Be blessed.

Be awesome.

Say yes.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Beloved:
“Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from? Is it not from your passions that make war within your members? You covet but do not possess. You kill and envy but you cannot obtain; you fight and wage war. You do not possess because you do not ask. You ask but do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”

Adulterers!
“Do you not know that to be a lover of the world means enmity . with God? Therefore, whoever wants to be a lover of the world  makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose that the Scripture speaks without meaning when it says, The spirit that he has made to dwell in us tends toward jealousy?  But he bestows a greater grace; therefore, it says: God resists the proud,
but gives grace to the humble.”

“So submit yourselves to God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you of two minds. Begin to lament, to mourn, to weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into dejection. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.”

 The first reading is clear yet difficult to read.

“Adulterers! Do you not know that to be a lover of the world means enmity with God?”

Ouch! The first time I read this it kind of stung.

“Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you of two minds.”

I’m confident that God invited me to be a part of this blog series because it is important that I reflect on these words.

When the opportunity to write for this series was presented to me, I first thought,

“Yes! I can lend my gift of writing to a larger audience.”

And there was also the sense of legitimacy, to feel like someone wanted my craft to be a part of their project. And there was a feeling that maybe I am called to write because Christ is present to me in an exemplary way.

And then I read these words:

“Adulterers!

you of two minds.”

When I first read this passage, I intended to finish it quickly. But I was floored, totally called out. I am an adulterer; I am of two minds. Praise God for James for lovingly convicting us of our sin. But more importantly, he leads us to hope.

“So submit yourselves to God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

 God wants to be close to us, and we can be.

How can we do that?

“Humble yourselves before the Lord.”

Humility. Exactly what Jesus exemplified in giving over His life.

Be humble.

Be like Christ.

Be close to Him.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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