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Beautifully Absurd

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My dad is a pretty big Beatles fan. And like most fans who follow a music group closely, he never requests the hits like “Hey Jude” or “Let It Be” because they have been played a bazillion times.

The Easter Gospel readings are the “hits” of the Gospel. I’ve heard them since before I can remember and they are particularly difficult to reflect upon in a way that isn’t banal.

And quite frankly, that’s how I felt reading today’s mass.

“Ok, what can I say that 1000’s of other saints and brilliant theologians haven’t already said about the Resurrection?”

I’ll be honest; I have nothing… except this:

Continue to journey with Christ. Be ever more joyfully intoxicated by the beautiful absurdity of this season. Trust Him.

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This will be my last reflection with Diocesan. For a kid who struggled to get a B in English classes and didn’t finish college, I am humbled to be able to serve others through the written word. I will continue to share essays through my Patreon page. Sincere thanks to Tommy Shultz for asking me to write in the first place. And again, all glory to God for every good thing my compositions were able to do.
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Reliable

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Tim Cooper, my 7th grade teacher, brought Harper Lee’s “To Kill A Mockingbird” to vibrant life. Atticus Finch, champion of language and virtue, dares to defend the innocent without drawing a sword. The pen is surely mightier.

I wonder if Harper Lee was inspired by today’s First Reading. In both “To Kill A Mockingbird” and the passage from Daniel, an innocent, lower class person is convicted of a crime by higher class persons. The major difference between the stories is that Daniel proves to the assembly that Susanna is innocent and the elders are guilty. He does so by questioning them separately and finding the discrepancies in their stories:

“It was under a Mastic Tree.”

“It was under an Oak Tree.”

Oops; should have rehearsed that, elders. Guilty.

In the Gospel, Jesus proves the validity of a profound statement that He says by the same courtroom law:

Jesus: “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” 

Pharisees: “You testify on your own behalf, so your testimony cannot be verified.” 

Jesus: “Even in your law it is written that the testimony of two men can be verified. I testify on my behalf and so does the Father who sent me.”
-John 8:12-20

On a literary plane, the first reading from Daniel holds up as a satisfying story. Reincorporating the reading’s motif into the Gospel heightens the message all the more: “The Author of Truth will defend the Truth.”

Together, they are an edifying collection of stories; They’re simply good! But these short stories are not just a “fun read” or for recreation. They are accounts that verify how reliable God is.

Innocent Susanna was saved from death because she cried out to God and the Holy Spirit moved Daniel to defend her. The Son, never without the Father, stands verified against the Pharisees’ test of law.

“Confidence and nothing else is what leads us to love.”

-The Little Flower

How great ought our confidence be if we know that we are never alone? When we call on One, we call on a Reliable/Divine Community Who will support us. Continue to grow in confidence in God’s reliability. Draw deeper into the life of the Divine Community. Return to Him with your whole heart.

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During the week, Matthew Juliano works as a Direct Support Professional with individuals who have intellectual and developmental disabilities. Visit his Patreon page to learn more about his job; there you can also find more reflections on life and faith. On weekends, he travels as the drummer for Full Armor Band to play retreats and conferences.  Most importantly, Matthew is planning and preparing to wed his fiancé this July.

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Divine Self-Awareness and Responsibility

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In the First Reading, Daniel admits to his sins and those of Judah. Context aside, the dialogue sounds very much like a person participating in the sacrament of Reconciliation: it is a voluntary admission of guilt.

Let alone the mysterious outpouring of grace from confession, it is advantageous for a person to be capable of “accusing” him or herself of the wrong that they’ve done.

When we take responsibility for our sins, we approach the opportunity to overcome our sin. If it’s true that we can choose sin, isn’t it also true that we can choose the True, Good and Beautiful?

We can indeed. We see evidence of that in the lives of the Saints and Venerables.

We have radical, God-given freedom, which requires responsibility and self-awareness in order to be practiced well.

But the Gospel is not a “self-help” book; it is a “God-help-us-so-we-can-help-others-and-ourselves” book (among other things).

God helps us by “not deal[ing] with us according to our sins”.

  • PS 103:10a, Responsorial Psalm

When we are self-aware and admit to our responsibility of sin in Reconciliation, the free gift of grace that is His mercy transforms us. If we return to Him and make a good confession, our hearts start to resemble the Sacred and Immaculate.

It is only after a sincere confession and gift of heavenly grace that we are able to withhold judgment and condemnation. Instead, we are able to forgive and give freely because that is how the Divine has responded to our apology… and for those who have yet to make an apology, He yearns most to share His mercy with them.

Grow in Divine Self-Awareness.

 Harness responsibility.

 And “Be merciful just as [our] heavenly Father is merciful”

-Luke 6:36

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During the week, Matthew Juliano works as a Direct Support Professional with individuals who have intellectual and developmental disabilities. Visit his Patreon page to learn more about his job; there you can also find more reflections on life and faith. On weekends, he travels as the drummer for Full Armor Band to play retreats and conferences.  Most importantly, Matthew is planning and preparing to wed his fiancé this July.

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Return to Him and Trust Him

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The readings from Sirach and the Gospel are both clear and timeless.

Go read them… if you haven’t.

I’m confident that they will convey to you deeper and more vital truths than a reflection by yours truly.

Did you read it then?!

Ok, here are my thoughts: February 22nd-24th of this year, I traveled with my band to Kalamazoo, MI for the Presence retreat; it was actually on this same retreat in 2014 that I first met Tommy Shultz (the organizer of this blog series).

A “Steubenville”-style of retreat, the weekend goes from Friday night to Sunday morning. Saturday night is the epic 2-hour long Adoration. Before I was committed to shaking the shaker and crashing the cymbals for the service, I wanted to receive confession.

I was fortunate enough to receive the grace of the sacrament through the gentle and insightful Fr. Derda.

In our conversation, we discerned that I fell victim to my sin of lust because I was first slothful (willfully). But, why was I slothful? Pure laziness wasn’t an adequate explanation.

I was afraid. Really, I needed to confess that I didn’t trust God’s plan to “prosper [me] and not harm [me]” Jer. 29:11.

 The sleeping beast in my life, ever lurking and harming my will, is the belief that failure in a new venture will crush me beyond repair. Bleak, I know. But it’s my demon. And I’m happy to share that it is losing.

A couple of years ago, Tommy shared this Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete quote,

“The only temptation we face is the temptation to believe that God does not want to fill the deepest desires of our hearts.”

Ain’t that the truth!

Should we steal scraps from the waste bin because we’re too afraid to accept our invitation to the feast?!

I think it not too bold to suggest that the rich man in the Gospel did not trust that God would fulfill the deepest desires of his heart and he did not trust that God would indeed care for him; why else would he be sad?

It is written in Sirach 17:21

“Return to Him and give up sin”.

It could also be read:

“Return to him and grow in trust.” Turn to Him. Trust Him. Even if He asks you to sell all that you have.

During the week, Matthew Juliano works as a Direct Support Professional with individuals who have intellectual and developmental disabilities. Visit his Patreon page to learn more about his job; there you can also find more reflections on life and faith. On weekends, he travels as the drummer for Full Armor Band to play retreats and conferences.  Most importantly, Matthew is planning and preparing to wed his fiancé this July.
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Leisure and Service

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Today’s Gospel is the episode of Jesus healing the Gentile woman’s daughter who had an unclean spirit. It takes all of the predictable turns of Jesus’ encounters with the poor: they beg, He has mercy, and they are healed.

I’ve heard this a million times; Jesus heals her. Saw that one coming. Yes, yes and yes.

At first glance, this is a very predictable tale. However, as I read through it today, the detail that stuck out to me the most was actually at the very beginning of the story:

“He entered a house and wanted no one to know about it,
but he could not escape notice.”
-Mark 7:24

In the side column notes of my Fireside New American Bible, the commentary suggests that his visit to Tyre “may have been for respite” (1075). If it is true that Jesus really was tired and wanted a little privacy to recuperate, then the entire message and significance of the story changes.

My view of Jesus has been slowly changing from a static, indomitable force of love and mercy to a living and breathing Person to whom I can actually relate. For the record, I have zero cases of driving out demons, but I do know what it feels like to need some alone time to rest. That is “self-love” or “self-maintenance” that I think each person has a responsibility to uphold. Even Jesus needed it!

But despite His weariness or His humanity, He doesn’t close the door and say,

“Sorry, I’m on break. Come back in an hour.”

 He engages her, gives His attention and loves her.

Perhaps, in God’s divine wisdom, He knew this was an important Gospel to be read on a holiday for which love has been reduced to sentimentality, chocolates, and roses.

Real love is more than that.

It is willing the good of the other. It is choosing to serve our beloved even when we are tired. Love means choosing the other over ourselves. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Purified in Unity

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Growing in faith can be pretty painful sometimes. Actually, it’s mostly painful. It’s not until we are transformed that we see why choosing to suffer with and for Christ is, in fact, the best way to live life.

It’s a lot like the purification of metal, as mentioned in the first reading. But, instead of throwing us into a furnace (with the exception of some saints), we are purified and refined by the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts, which are always depicted with fire.

A priest friend gave me a prayer card for my fiancé and me to say in preparation for our vocation to marriage. It is called “The Unity Prayer”. Pretty appropriate for an engaged couple, right? Here’s how it goes:

May our feet journey together
May our hands gather in unity
May our hearts beat in unison
May our souls be in harmony
May our thoughts be as one
May our ears listen to the silence together
May our glances profoundly penetrate each other
May our lips pray together to gain mercy from the Eternal Father.
Amen.

Spread the effect of grace of thy flame of love over all of humanity.

We say this prayer each night. And on the days when I give her good reason to be mad at me, it isn’t terribly “cute” to be saying this prayer; it’s actually pretty difficult. It requires the humility to choose the other person in spite of whatever good reason we have to be angry at them or even hurt by them.

That humility purifies and unites us.

The same applies for our relationship to God. It requires humility to acknowledge our sin and go to confession. We are being purified by that sacrament. That’s why it’s difficult and can be uncomfortable to make a good confession. But like silver and gold, we are made more beautiful and authentic by the flame of Love Himself.

Be humbled.
Be purified.
Be united to the Divine.

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Drop Your (Safety) Nets

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On All Saints Day of 2013, I dropped my (safety) nets and followed Jesus. I’ve heard the stories of Jesus calling the apostles and they sound even more strange as an adult.

“Are they brave or insane?”

Those are pretty much the only two options when we consider the story of the apostles leaving their income to follow Jesus.

My (safety) net was higher education. It was on November 1st that I left college as a junior to pursue music with my band. Our culture lauds higher education as the magic bullet that will ensure you have a more prosperous and opportune life… so it was pretty difficult to discern if God was, in fact, calling me to leave school.

“Only a real risk tests the reality of belief” -C.S. Lewis

I sacrificed the promise that higher education had to offer. I risked going without that extra support for my future. But it is no exaggeration that my life has been the most interesting adventure ever since that day.

God provides.

My band found many opportunities to share our music and testimonies, reaching further than we ever have before. I have found a meaningful work in my community to which I can lend my gifts and strengths.

One of my biggest uncertainties about leaving school was wondering if I’d be capable of being some sort of provider for my future spouse. In God’s perfect Divine Irony, He led me to court an old classmate from college. She finished school. But she doesn’t resent that I didn’t.

God is so good.

Drop your (safety) nets.

You won’t know until you take the risk just how good it is on the other side.

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Bigfoot, the Boogieman, and the Antichrist

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When I heard a passionate televangelist use the word “antichrist”, my first thought was: “Whoa, calm down, bro. You’re a little too angry for an invisible boogieman.”

 I think the contrast between the vibrant approach of Protestant preachers and the priests at my home church, who normally deliver their homilies in a more reserved and measured fashion, certainly affected my perception of the word… let alone that I have no recollection of any of my local priests saying the word in or outside of the Liturgy.

“The resurrection was the ultimate victory, right?!

If I believe Christ has competitors, does it mean I don’t believe in the power of His resurrection? Are these Protestants just trying to make people scared?”

 That’s the best I could surmise as a young, practicing Catholic. I actually thought it was a word that 20th century zealots created to be combative towards those who are not a part of their church or movement.

But… it appears that John used it before televangelists.

Realizing that there was a big gap between my understandings of the word’s etymology and meaning, I looked in the dictionary of my “Fireside New American Bible” to learn the actual definition:

“(The antichrist) refers to the ruling spirit of error, the enemy of the Gospel, and the opponent of Christ who will precede His Second Coming and the end of the world” (11).

Ok, well… that actually isn’t such a far-fetched idea… Or at least doesn’t seem as incredible as saying there is a boogieman or Bigfoot.

I think you can be a rational believer and affirm that there are legitimate enemies to Christ and the Gospel. There are real competitors to pursuing the fullness of life that is promised to us by subscribing to all that the faith demands and cooperating with grace.

John’s first letter, though written to a different audience, remains germane to the ‘religion’ conversation today. According to a study done by the Pew Research Center, the fastest growing group in the United States is those who claim no religious affiliation. Today, the greatest competitor to the full message of the Gospel is not just a warped version of it, but in fact, an apathy that asserts it is arcane and obsolete. I’d be remiss to not mention that the recent revelation of the Church’s heinous secrets may have also played a part in the decline of membership, but that wouldn’t explain why mainline Protestants suffered an even greater decline.

The question remains:

What do we do?

We encounter each person right where they are and love them, scars and all.

Live the Gospel.
Proclaim Christ with your life.
Radiate the joy of Truth.

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Do You Even Love, Bro?

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My younger brother is easily 20 lbs. heavier than I am. Pure muscle. His gym is considering changing his billing from a monthly membership to a living-space rent.

By his physique time dedication to exercise and his diet (which sometimes includes putting peanut butter in a blender, yuck), any person could tell that his personal health is of the utmost importance. Even his friends introduce him to others as “G.I. Joe” because of his action-figure-shaped build.

At community events, friends and family will often mistake me for my brother or vice versa because of our facial resemblances. However, there is no mixing up names when we go to the beach because my brother looks like Superman and I like Fred Flintstone.

I love the first reading because it spells out very simply how to recognize a Christian.

“Whoever says he is in the light,
yet hates his brother, is still in the darkness.”
(1 John 2:9)

Now, I go to the gym… pretty regularly. I’ve been enough times to earn two free t-shirts. But I’m not nearly as invested as my brother is (which is plain to see). I haven’t changed my diet. I still eat my ice cream and drink my coffee with loads of sugar. I also only do about 10 minutes on the stationary bike… which pales in comparison to my brother’s workout routine.

I do go to the gym, I do exercise, but is it bearing any good fruit? It is tempting to avoid the work of worship like I do exercise.

“Yes, I’m a parishioner. Yes, I say my Our Father before bed. Yes, I show up to mass.”

Great. Good. Keep doing all of the things. But how is your spiritual health? I like to think the measure of a person’s hate is akin to corporal excess weight;

it is unhealthy and it impedes you from true freedom.

Furthermore, isn’t it an absurd sight to see a lifelong member of a gym for like 40 or 50 years and they are still unhealthy?

I’ve listened to many an atheist and apostate, and a number of them have referred to a particular person or experience, which has turned them away from the church.

Hate is antithetical to the Christian lifestyle.

We cannot be Christian and hate just as my brother cannot maintain his physique and eat a pint of ice cream each night (but maybe on his cheat day though).

Just as my brother is easily recognized for his physique, so too should we Christians be recognized by our love.

If you have hate in your heart… turn to Christ to have it transformed.

Don’t stay there.
Do the ‘work’ of worship.
Live in the light.

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Do We Recognize Him?

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Do We Recognize Him?

 For all the laughs and humor, Jim Carrey’s Bruce Almighty manages to incorporate important and authentic theological themes within the levity of his comedic performance.

One of my favorites is something I’ll call the “God’s presence in the impoverished” theme. Throughout the film, there is a homeless man. He appears just as you might expect a destitute person to dress: dirt-stained face, loose-fitting clothing, and a somber countenance to complete the ensemble. It is not until the final frame that this man is revealed to be Christ/A Divine Figure.

I was reminded of this as I read the Gospel:

For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they said,
‘He is possessed by a demon.’
The Son of Man came eating and drinking and they said,
‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard,
a friend of tax collectors and sinners.‘

Matthew 11:18-19

Do we recognize Him?

Bruce at the beginning of his journey and the children in this parable surely do not. In their perception, Christ does not appear or behave as they might expect. In fact, in both stories the main character looks with contempt upon Christ.

“I really only love God as much as the person I love the least.”

-Dorothy Day

Ms. Day does not mince words. And I love that. She speaks the truth clearly.

Do we recognize Him?

Sometimes, loving a person who is monetarily impoverished is easier than loving a person who is spiritually impoverished.

A patient smile may be more difficult to give than a dollar. A family member or close friend who is impoverished in the charity of kindness can be far more challenging to love than a stranger begging for scraps on the street.

Do we recognize Him?

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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Living in Love

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Is there anything better?

 My fiancé and I have been engaged for about four months and we are thrilled!

We’ve both seen the fruits of the Spirit as we grew in our “dating” relationship (i.e. courtship) and even more as we further prepare to build a life together.

While we were dating, we were a two and a half car ride away from each other, so visits were only on weekends or holidays.

After we got engaged, she moved closer to me. We are now only thirty minutes apart from each other. If we really miss each other or have a bad day, we don’t have to rely on a pixelated Facetime call; I go drive to her and eat some ice cream.

Is there anything better?

I don’t know… things are prrrrrretty great. But it’s hard to fathom and easy to forget that we have an even greater treasure awaiting us: Holy Matrimony!

We will share a home. On lazy weekend mornings, I can make her my signature pancakes (which are basically just regular pancakes, but with approximated 10-zillion chocolate chips). We can put our feet up by the fireplace as the kindling warms us at the end of an autumn week. We can suffer the misfortune of novice cooking… together.

Is there anything better?

 No. To my best knowledge, I would say no. In light of my new perspective on Eros, I understand the Sadducees to be asking Christ: “Who will receive the promise for the greatest joy of the human experience?”

And He explains how “those who are deemed worthy to attain to the coming age and to the resurrection of the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.” –Luke 20:35

But as I read the passage a few more times, the lines that I keep coming back to are: “They can no longer die” “and he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.” –Luke 20: 36, 38

Living and growing in relationship with Emily, that is what it feels like to be in Love, completely alive.

Love awakens a part of you that no other force can; Love brings you to life.

 I can’t imagine a greater love than I have with my fiancé. In fact, I would be indignant if someone said I would have to be without her.

But for as alive as I feel because of our relationship, I know it is only a glimpse, barely a taste of the immersive Love that is promised in heaven.

 Is there anything better?

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.

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What Do We Say?

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“Thank you.”

Of the many habits my parents have helped form in me (brushing my teeth before and after the day, scraping my plate before loading it into the dishwasher, making my bed (which I still have to improve), expressing gratitude is one I believe to be the most empowering because it is the perfect response to a person being generous towards me.

It’s possible that the Samaritan wasn’t trained in promptly writing thank-you cards like I was, but he responds quintessentially to the generosity of Christ’s healing and mercy.

“Thank you.”

 It can be easy to simply say the words as a mechanical, scripted response… And sometimes, that’s appropriate. It might be off-putting to perform a song and dance for a Starbucks barista when he makes your vanilla caramel toffee nut espresso iced latte… or maybe song and dance is the only way to respond to a vanilla caramel toffee nut espresso iced latte.

Hm.

However good your coffee, large lotto ticket earnings, or extravagant trip to the Caribbean Islands may be, none are even a glimpse of the sweet splendor that Christ gifts to us: His love, eternal paradise and an invitation to partake in the divine life.

“To be a saint is to be motivated by gratitude.”

(Ronald Rolheiser, Our One Great Act of Fidelity 104)

 To be a saint is to receive Christ’s magnanimous love and to respond with every word we speak and every action we take in the only way appropriate.

What do we say?

Thank you.

During the week, Matthew Juliano is a mentor for individuals who have developmental and intellectual disabilities. He has started a Youtube Series that explains and raises awareness about the work he does, which can be found HERE. On the weekends, he is a drummer for Full Armor Band. You can find more content by Matt and his band at www.fullarmorband.com.