Persevering in Prayer / Perseverando en la OraciĆ³n

I find this Gospel comforting because it gives me permission to be persistent, which I sometimes fear is nagging. But Jesus is so clear that we should ask, we should seek, we should knock. And not only should we do these things but they are efficacious. They will work. There is great comfort in that when faced with a situation where the only thing we can do is pray.

When one of my friends was diagnosed with cancer and dying, the only thing I could do was pray. I couldn’t fix him. As much as I wished I could take his suffering, and that of his wife and children away, I was helpless. I prayed and prayed and worried that I was nagging but it was in that daily plea to Jesus that I found what I needed to watch someone I love die and not go to pieces myself. 

My husband is a one-and-done guy. He has full faith that his prayer, offered once (or maybe twice) will be answered and is at peace with that. I am the type of person that needs to reiterate my prayer often but over time I’ve realized that is for my benefit not God’s. Being God, he already knows what we need. He doesn’t need me to bombard him with it. Being my Father, he allows and encourages me to ask again and again, to be the proverbial broken record, because in my desire to do in a situation where there is no doing to be done, I find solace in the prayer. I know that the prayer will be answered just as Jesus says in the Gospel.

For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Luke 11:10)

In times of suffering and sadness, or even times of great joy and thanksgiving, I’m glad our God encourages persistence. I’m glad he’s ok with what could be framed as nagging. I’m also glad that we can trust that he will answer with goodness, not a scorpion. 

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Este Evangelio me consuela porque me da permiso de ser persistente, lo que a veces siento que molesta. Pero Jesús es tan claro que debemos pedir, debemos buscar, debemos llamar. Y no sólo debemos hacer estas cosas sino que son eficaces. Van a funcionar. Eso nos consuela bastante cuando nos enfrentamos con una situación en la que lo único que podemos hacer es rezar.

Cuando a uno de mis amigos le diagnosticaron cáncer y se estaba muriendo, lo único que podía hacer era rezar. No pude arreglarlo. Por mucho que deseara poder quitarle su sufrimiento y el de su esposa e hijos, era incapaz de hacerlo. Rezaba y rezaba y me preocupaba que estaba molestando, pero era en esa súplica diaria a Jesús que encontraba lo que necesitaba para ver morir a alguien que amaba y no deshacerme yo misma.

Mi esposo es el tipo de persona que pide una sola vez y eso le basta. Tiene plena fe en que su oración, ofrecida una sola vez (o tal vez dos veces), va a ser respondida y queda tranquilo. Mientras yo soy el tipo de persona que necesita reiterar mi oración con frecuencia, pero con el tiempo me he dado cuenta de que es para mi beneficio y no para el de Dios. Siendo Dios, ya sabe lo que necesitamos. No necesita que lo bombardee con eso. Siendo mi Padre, me permite y me alienta a pedir una y otra vez, a ser el disco rayado proverbial, porque cuando deseo hacer algo en una situación donde no hay nada que hacer, encuentro consuelo en la oración. Sé que la oración será contestada tal como dice Jesús en el Evangelio.

“Porque quien pide, recibe; quien busca, encuentra y al que toca, se le abre. ” (Lucas 11,10)

En tiempos de sufrimiento y tristeza, o incluso en tiempos de gran alegría y acción de gracias, me alegra que nuestro Dios nos motiva a ser perseverantes. Me alegro que esté de acuerdo con lo que podría llamarse una molestia. También me alegra que podamos confiar en que va a responder con bondad y no con un escorpión.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Samuel Martins, unsplash.com/photos/3U7HcqkIbb4

Forgive From the Heart / Perdonar de CorazĆ³n

I’m not sure what I was up to when I was a kid but I recall having frequent cuts and scrapes that required my body to produce scabs. My mom told me not to pick at them to avoid scars but to my childhood mind, scars were irrelevant. More interesting were these scratchy patches on my arms and legs that indicated healing and were fun to mess with. The healing process slowed way down when the scab was picked off but there was satisfaction in doing it anyway.

What does this have to do with forgiveness? In today’s Gospel Jesus instructs us to forgive from our heart reminding us that forgiveness is a head thing as well as a heart thing. Announcing to myself that I forgive a person is only part of the process. The second part, forgiving from my heart means I have to stop picking at the scab from the wound. That’s less easy. 

Scabs serve a useful purpose in protecting what was damaged while it heals but they also are a reminder of the wound and are especially annoying when they itch or crack or otherwise cause us to notice they are there. When someone hurts us it’s part of our human nature to roll around in that hurt; replaying it in our mind, maybe even making it bigger than it was. There is satisfaction in staying in that place. There can be a sense of justified victimhood and gleeful self pity. “Look at me. Look what happened to me. I am hurt. See my scar. Look what I survived.”

When we dwell on the hurt, when we pick the emotional scab, we are slowing down the forgiveness and healing process and hurting ourselves in the end. It’s like opening a slow cooker. Each time you do, you add a half hour to the cooking time. Each time you pick that scab, you add healing time and you spend longer feeling bad. 

The answer lies with Jesus. When we show him our wound and tell him how the scab is bothering us, he helps us. I’m convinced that fully forgiving someone from the heart is only possible with the help of our Lord. That pesky scab is just too tempting. But if we give it to him and take the time needed for healing, it will happen and we will forgive as he asks us to. We will also avoid scars that prevent us from loving. We will forgive with and from a heart that is centered on Jesus. But  first we need to go to him. He is waiting. 

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No estoy seguro de lo que hacía cuando era niña, pero recuerdo tener cortes y raspaduras frecuentes que requerían que mi cuerpo produjera costras. Mi mamá me dijo que no me los tocara para evitar las cicatrices, pero en mi mente de niña, las cicatrices eran irrelevantes. Más interesantes fueron estos parches ásperos en mis brazos y piernas que indicaban curación y era divertido jugar con ellos. El proceso de curación se ralentizó mucho cuando se quitó la costra, pero hubo satisfacción en hacerlo de todos modos.

¿Qué tiene que ver esto con el perdón? En el Evangelio de hoy, Jesús nos instruye a perdonar de corazón recordándonos que el perdón es una cosa de la cabeza tanto como una cosa del corazón. Anunciarme a mí mismo que perdono a una persona es solo una parte del proceso. La segunda parte, perdonar de corazón significa que tengo que dejar de rascarme la costra de la herida. Lo cual no es tan fácil.

Las costras tienen un propósito útil para proteger lo que se dañó mientras se cura, pero también son un recordatorio de la herida y son especialmente molestos cuando pican o se agrietan o nos hacen notar que están allí. Cuando alguien nos lastima, es parte de nuestra naturaleza humana revolcarnos en ese dolor; repitiéndolo en nuestra mente, tal vez incluso haciéndolo más grande de lo que era. Hay satisfacción en permanecer en ese lugar. Puede haber una sensación de victimismo justificado y autocompasión alegre. “Mírame. Mira lo que me pasó. Estoy lastimado. Mira mi cicatriz. Mira lo que sobreviví”.

Cuando nos detenemos en el dolor, cuando nos quitamos la costra emocional, estamos retrasando el perdón y el proceso de sanación y, al final, nos estamos lastimando a nosotros mismos. Es como abrir una olla de cocción lenta. Cada vez que lo haces, agregas media hora al tiempo de cocción. Cada vez que arrancas esa costra, agregas tiempo de curación y pasas más tiempo sintiéndote mal.

La respuesta está en Jesús. Cuando le mostramos nuestra herida y le contamos cómo nos molesta la costra, nos ayuda. Estoy convencida de que perdonar completamente a alguien desde el corazón solo es posible con la ayuda de nuestro Señor. Esa molesta costra es demasiado tentadora. Pero si se lo damos y nos tomamos el tiempo necesario para que sane, sucederá y perdonaremos como él nos lo pida. También evitaremos las cicatrices que nos impiden amar. Perdonaremos con y desde un corazón centrado en Jesús. Pero primero tenemos que ir a él. Nos está esperando.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Alex Shute, unsplash.com/photos/b7QwXDDEwv8

The Storms of Life / Las Tormentas de la Vida

A friend of mine went to  the Sea of Galilee where today’s Gospel takes place. Because of how it is situated, it is subject to sudden violent storms when the wind comes from the east over the mountains and drops over the water. 

“People die on this sea,” my friend told me.

Hearing that made today’s Gospel more real. Having spent much time on lakes since childhood and living near Lake Michigan now, I’ve gained a healthy respect for water. I’m always just a little scared when I’m in it. The ex-fishermen disciples must have had this respect as well. They knew the Sea of Galilee was unpredictable and dangerous. It must have made it all the more amazing to see Jesus walking toward them on the water during a storm. 

It’s just as amazing to us when Jesus comes to us in the storms of our lives. I feel like I shouldn’t be surprised when he’s there next to me, helping me out when I’m mired in a squall. I know he is trustworthy and he has demonstrated his care for me many times. I’ve read in the Bible how he is always with us, yet I’m still surprised, when in the midst of my boat being rocked and pummeled with waves, there he is calling me to him. 

Being his disciple means I can trust that when he invites me out of the boat and into the mess where I’m scared and uncertain, he won’t abandon me. Jesus doesn’t call us and let us fall. He calls us and walks beside us. With him by our side, we truly can do the impossible like Peter did whether it’s forgiving the person who hurt us deeply or keeping our patience or finding the right words to say to someone in doubt. Jesus invites us. 

In the noise and sometimes storms of life, he is there peacefully walking through it all and inviting us to walk through it with him. 

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Un amigo mío fue al Mar de Galilea donde se desarrolla el Evangelio de hoy. Por su ubicación, está sujeta a tormentas repentinas y violentas cuando el viento viene del este sobre las montañas y cae sobre el agua.

“La gente se muere en este mar”, me dijo mi amigo.

Escuchar eso hizo que el Evangelio de hoy fuera más real. Habiendo pasado mucho tiempo en los lagos desde la infancia y viviendo cerca del Lago de Michigan ahora, he ganado un sano respeto por el agua. Siempre tengo un poco de miedo cuando estoy dentro. Los discípulos ex-pescadores también deben haber tenido este respeto. Sabían que el Mar de Galilea era impredecible y peligroso. Debe haber sido aún más sorprendente ver a Jesús caminando hacia ellos sobre el agua durante una tormenta.

Es igual de asombroso para nosotros cuando Jesús viene a nosotros en medio de las tormentas de nuestras vidas. Siento que no debería sorprenderme cuando él está a mi lado, ayudándome cuando estoy sumida en una tormenta. Sé que es digno de confianza y ha demostrado su interés por mí muchas veces. He leído en la Biblia cómo él siempre está con nosotros, pero todavía estoy sorprendido, cuando en medio de mi barca siendo sacudida y azotada por las olas, allí me está llamando a acercarme.

Ser su discípulo significa que puedo confiar en que cuando me invite a salir del bote y al lío donde estoy asustado e inseguro, no me abandonará. Jesús no nos llama y nos deja caer. Él nos llama y camina a nuestro lado. Con él a nuestro lado, realmente podemos hacer lo imposible como lo hizo Pedro, ya que sea perdonar a la persona que nos ha lastimado profundamente, mantener nuestra paciencia o encontrar las palabras correctas para decirle a alguien que tiene dudas. Jesús nos invita.

En el ruido y, a veces, en las tormentas de la vida, él está allí caminando en paz e invitándonos a caminar con él.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Timur Garifov, unsplash.com/photos/qF1URf0N-n0

God is Always Good / Dios es Siempre Bueno

Jesus is powerful. He heals everything. Even demons listen to him.

The world is sick. It’s easy to feel discouraged seeing all the suffering. So many teenagers and young adults struggle with anxiety and depression, missing semesters of high school and college in order to get healthy. In some ways it’s not surprising. Our society is, like Ozzy Osborne said, “going off the rails on a crazy train.” 

Jesus is powerful. He heals everything. Even demons listen to him. The Gospels are filled with accounts of Jesus healing. Our world, particularly our young people, are in need of his healing. It comes first from faith but also from an understanding of our human anthropology and what it is to be human, made in God’s image, man or woman, beloved child of God. 

God sent his Son to heal a broken world. The world is still broken and his Son is still here. He’s waiting in every tabernacle in every Catholic church. He is here to heal. He is here to help us. We cannot make sense of the insensible but we can find peace in a disrupted world by keeping our gaze fixed on the one who saves: the Divine Physician. 

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by what I see happening but faith in my loving heavenly Father and his Son reminds me that Jesus is here and he heals. Nothing is so bad that he can’t fix it. This is when I find great comfort in our powerful Savior. 

Jesus already won the war. We know he is victorious and we are on his team. All we need to do until we get to heaven is allow him to be the center of our lives and share his healing grace. He is so good. 

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Jesús es poderoso. Él sana todo. Incluso los demonios le hacen caso.

El mundo está enfermo. Es fácil sentirse desanimado al ver todo el sufrimiento. Muchos adolescentes y adultos jóvenes luchan contra la ansiedad y la depresión, y se pierden semestres de la escuela secundaria y la universidad para recuperar la salud. En cierto modo, no es sorprendente. Nuestra sociedad, como dijo Ozzy Osborne, “se está descarrilando en un tren loco”.

Jesús es poderoso. Él sana todo. Incluso los demonios le hacen caso. Los Evangelios están llenos de relatos de Jesús sanando. Nuestro mundo, particularmente nuestros jóvenes, necesitan la sanación. Proviene primero de la fe, pero también de la comprensión de nuestra antropología humana y de lo que es ser humano, hecho a imagen de Dios, hombre o mujer, hijo amado de Dios.

Dios envió a su Hijo para sanar un mundo quebrantado. El mundo todavía está quebrantado y su Hijo todavía está aquí. Está esperando en cada tabernáculo en cada iglesia católica. Está aquí para sanar. Está aquí para ayudarnos. No podemos dar sentido a lo insensible pero podemos encontrar la paz en un mundo trastornado manteniendo la mirada fija en quien salva: el Médico Divino.

A veces me siento abrumada viendo lo que sucede en el mundo, pero la fe en mi amoroso Padre celestial y en su Hijo me recuerda que Jesús está aquí y sana. Nada es tan malo que él no pueda arreglar. Allí es donde encuentro gran consuelo en nuestro poderoso Salvador.

Jesús ya ganó la batalla. Sabemos que sale victorioso y estamos en su equipo. Todo lo que tenemos que hacer hasta que lleguemos al cielo es permitir que él sea el centro de nuestras vidas y compartir su gracia sanadora. Dios es siempre bueno.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Samuel Ferrara, unsplash.com/photos/1527pjeb6jg

The Flying Novena / La Novena Volada

I suspect that if St. Mother Teresa commanded a mountain to be taken up and cast in the sea, the mountain would waste no time to get going. Such was the faith of this amazing woman. 

I learned about her flying novena when I led a small group of women through Fr. Timothy Gaitley’s 33 Days to Marian Consecration. It seems this novena – called a flying novena because she prayed the Memorare nine times in a row instead of nine days or nine hours in a row – was one of the more efficacious weapons in her spiritual arsenal. So great was her faith that she chased the ninth Memorare with a tenth of thanksgiving for the answered request. I can imagine her tiny self next to a giant mountain, praying the ten Memorares and the mountain getting up and dashing off to the sea.

I have experienced the power of the flying novena often and I consider it the prayer that is always answered. I have learned that it is good to have this unwavering and childlike trust in God’s providence. It’s not presumptuous – it’s faith. Our heavenly Father is a generous God who loves to answer our prayers. We just need to believe that. We hear it from Jesus himself in today’s Gospel:

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you receive it, and you will.” 

How could we ever doubt? Whether it is St. Mother Teresa’s flying novena or a prayer from your heart, believe. Believe that God your Father desires to give you what you ask for. Believe in his generosity and faithfulness. 

Pope Francis once said that God never tires of forgiving us, it is we who get tired of asking for forgiveness. I believe that God also never tires of giving to us; it is we who get tired of asking. The next time something weighs heavily on your heart, try a flying novena and don’t forget to include the tenth Memorare in thanksgiving for your answered prayer. 

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen. 

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Sospecho que si Santa Madre Teresa ordenara que se tomara una montaña y se arrojara al mar, la montaña no perdería tiempo en ponerse en marcha. Tal era la fe de esta mujer asombrosa.

Me enteré de su novena volada cuando dirigí un pequeño grupo de mujeres por el libro “Los 33 Días Hacia un Glorioso Amanecer” por el Padre Timothy Gaitley. Parece que esta novena, llamada novena volada porque la Madre Teresa rezaba el Memorare nueve veces seguidas en lugar de nueve días o nueve horas seguidas, era una de las armas más eficaces de su arsenal espiritual. Tan grande fue su fe que después del noveno Memorare lo rezó una décima vez en acción de gracias por la petición atendida. Puedo imaginarla junto a una montaña gigante, rezando los diez Memorares y la montaña levantándose y corriendo hacia el mar.

He experimentado a menudo el poder de la novena volada y la considero la oración que siempre recibe respuesta. He aprendido que es bueno tener esta confianza inquebrantable e infantil en la providencia de Dios. No es presunción, es fe. Nuestro Padre celestial es un Dios generoso que quiere contestar nuestras oraciones. Sólo tenemos que creerlo. Lo escuchamos del mismo Jesús en el Evangelio de hoy:

Cualquier cosa que pidan en la oración, crean ustedes que ya se la han concedido, y la obtendrán.”

¿Cómo podríamos dudar? Ya sea la novena volada de Santa Madre Teresa o una oración de tu corazón, cree. Cree que Dios tu Padre desea darte lo que pides. Cree en su generosidad y fidelidad.

El Papa Francisco dijo una vez que Dios nunca se cansa de perdonarnos, somos nosotros los que nos cansamos de pedir perdón. Yo creo que Dios también nunca se cansa de darnos; somos nosotros los que nos cansamos de preguntar. La próxima vez que algo te pesa mucho en el corazón, intenta una novena volada y no te olvides de incluir el décimo Memorare en acción de gracias por la respuesta a tu oración.

Acordaos, oh piadosísima Virgen María, que jamás se ha oído decir que ninguno de los que hayan acudido a tu protección, implorando tu asistencia y reclamando tu socorro, haya sido abandonado de ti. Animado con esta confianza, a ti también acudo, oh Madre, Virgen de las vírgenes, y aunque gimiendo bajo el peso de mis pecados, me atrevo a comparecer ante tu presencia soberana. No deseches mis humildes súplicas, oh Madre del Verbo divino, antes bien, escúchalas y acógelas benignamente. Amén.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Diego Zamudio, cathopic.com/photo/12806-santa-teresa-de-calcuta

His Friends / Sus Amigos

Godspell, the musical from 1973, is an assault to one’s eyes with its rainbow-haired Jesus and 70’s nonconformist vibe. It marries two different ways of looking at the world: the love anyone, anytime, anywhere hippie milieu with the story of our eternal salvation through Christ’s sacrifice. It feels uncomfortable, like strange bedfellows, a relationship that shouldn’t work. Yet, it does, primarily because it mines its material directly from the Gospel of Matthew. Even though the hippie culture has gone away and our eyes can rest, the Gospel story never gets old or dated. 

I was introduced to this play when my high school performed it and it had a profound effect on me for one reason (not the earworm songs the cast breaks into unexpectedly). It was the first time I’d considered that the apostles were people. 

Catholic education in the 70’s and 80’s lacked a lot, including introducing children to the person of Jesus. What I was startled to realize while watching the second to last scene where Jesus dies, was that the apostles were people and their friend died. The idea that a friend can die was unknown to me at the time. 

As I watched kids I was friends with play out the scene, I started to get it. Their friend died. Died. They didn’t know what we know, that in three days he’d be back. Death is final and the man they’d spent three years with was gone. 

It wasn’t until many years later that I began to know Jesus as a person and a friend. Then his crucifixion became more than the death of their friend but of mine also. When I read today’s Gospel and picture Mary and John at the foot of the cross it becomes more real and somehow more important to imagine myself there with them because even though he died over 2000 years ago, it wasn’t just for them. It wasn’t just because of the sins of the people then. It was for me and because of my sin.

Imagining ourselves there is important because it helps us keep this event from becoming routine. When it’s just another story about a good guy a long time ago, we lose the significance. Every year we must take the time and emotional effort to put ourselves there and remember he died for us and give him thanks and glory. We are not in a musical, we are in life and this is important. 

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Godspell, el musical de 1973, es un asalto a los ojos con su Jesús de cabello arcoíris y la vibra inconformista de los años 70. Une dos formas diferentes de ver el mundo: el amor a cualquier persona, en cualquier momento y en cualquier lugar del medio hippie con la historia de nuestra salvación eterna a través del sacrificio de Cristo. Se siente incómodo, como extraños compañeros de cama, una relación que no debería funcionar. Sin embargo, lo hace, principalmente porque extrae su material directamente del Evangelio de Mateo. Aunque la cultura hippie se ha ido y nuestros ojos pueden descansar, la historia del Evangelio nunca pasa de moda ni se hace anticuada.

Conocí esta obra cuando mi escuela secundaria la interpretó y me afectó profundamente por una sola razón (no las canciones que los actores cantan en los momentos más inesperados); era la primera vez que consideraba que los apóstoles eran personas.

A la educación católica de los años 70 y 80 le faltaba mucho, incluso acercar a los niños a la persona de Jesús. Lo que me sorprendió al ver la penúltima escena donde Jesús muere, fue que los apóstoles eran personas y su amigo murió. La idea de que un amigo puede morir me era desconocida en ese momento.

Mientras observaba a mis amigos representar la escena, comencé a entenderlo. Su amigo se murió. Se murió. No sabían lo que nosotros sabemos, que en tres días estaría vivo de nuevo. La muerte es definitiva y el hombre con el que habían pasado tres años se había ido.

Muchos años después recién comencé a conocer a Jesús como persona y como Amigo. Entonces su crucifixión se convirtió en más que la muerte de su amigo, sino también en el mío. Cuando leo el Evangelio de hoy y me imagino a María y Juan al pie de la cruz, se vuelve más real y, de alguna manera, más importante imaginarme allí con ellos porque, aunque él murió hace más de 2000 años, no fue solo por ellos. No fue solo por los pecados de la gente de aquel tiempo. Fue por mí y por mi pecado.

Imaginarnos en la escena es importante porque nos ayuda a que este evento no se vuelva rutinario. Cuando es solo otra historia sobre un buen tipo hace mucho tiempo, perdemos el significado. Cada año debemos tomarnos el tiempo y el esfuerzo emocional para ponernos en la escena y recordar que se murió por nosotros y darle las gracias y la gloria. No somos actores en un musical, estamos viviendo la vida real y esto es importante.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Louis Galvez, unsplash.com/photos/I8gQVrDcXzY

Spiritual Seasons / Temporadas Espirituales

As I write this, the days are getting shorter. In a few weeks we will ”fall behind” and the sun will set earlier. When you read this we will be on the other side, closer to the “spring forward” clock change and longer days. But the leaves are falling now. The summer plants have had enough and the flannel shirts are back in rotation. Soon we will feel like the people in darkness again. 

As I grow closer to God I’m more in awe of his genius and how his creation so beautifully mirrors the spiritual life. The natural seasons guide us through times of literal darkness. We watch plants die and trees go dormant. There is no growth in the darkness. Nature sleeps. 

In the spiritual life there are dark times also. St. Teresa of Calcutta and St. John of the Cross wrote of their dark nights of the soul. A natural part of our spiritual life includes times when God seems far away. Our prayer is dry. We don’t feel the emotions from worship and prayer that we enjoy and associate with a close relationship with Jesus. These are hard times. This is the winter of our spiritual life.

In today’s Gospel Jesus tells us that those who know him will not walk in darkness. He is the light. In this spiritual winter, we can know that spiritual spring, like natural spring, will indeed come again. While we may not often see the sun, we know from experience it is there. We know that nature will come alive and thrive as the days grow longer.

Winter in the spiritual life is a time when we need to have faith that we will see the Son again. He is there even though he seems to be behind the clouds in our hearts. We can and should have faith that spiritual spring will return and we will be all the more grateful and appreciative because we experienced the winter. 

Jesus is the light. Just as tulips and daffodils push through the cold soil to reach toward heaven, we too push through the dry times reaching toward the light of Christ. 

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Mientras escribo esto, los días son cada vez más cortos. En unas pocas semanas nos cambiaremos la hora y el sol se pondrá más temprano. Cuando leas esto, estaremos del otro lado, más cerca del cambio de reloj de primavera y con días más largos. Pero las hojas están cayendo ahora. Las plantas de verano ya se han muerto y las camisas de franela están de vuelta. Pronto volveremos a sentirnos como el pueblo en la oscuridad.

A medida que me acerco más a Dios, me asombro más de su genio y cómo su creación refleja tan bellamente la vida espiritual. Las estaciones naturales nos guían a través de tiempos de oscuridad literal. Vemos las plantas morir y los árboles quedar inactivos. No hay crecimiento en la oscuridad. La naturaleza duerme.

En la vida espiritual también hay tiempos oscuros. Santa Teresa de Calcuta y San Juan de la Cruz escribieron sobre sus noches oscuras del alma. Una parte natural de nuestra vida espiritual incluye momentos en los que Dios parece estar muy lejos. Nuestra oración es seca. No sentimos las emociones de la adoración y la oración que disfrutamos y asociamos con una relación cercana con Jesús. Estos son tiempos difíciles. Este es el invierno de nuestra vida espiritual.

En el Evangelio de hoy Jesús nos dice que quien lo conoce no andará en tinieblas. Él es la luz. En este invierno espiritual, podemos saber que la primavera espiritual, como la primavera natural, vendrá de nuevo. Si bien es posible que no veamos el sol con frecuencia, sabemos por experiencia que está allí. Sabemos que la naturaleza brotará y prosperará a medida que los días se hagan más largos.

Durante los tiempos de invierno en la vida espiritual hay que tener fe en que volveremos a ver al Hijo. Él está allí aunque parece estar detrás de las nubes en nuestros corazones. Podemos y debemos tener fe en que la primavera espiritual regresará y estaremos aún más agradecidos porque hemos experimentado el invierno.

Jesús es la luz. Así como los tulipanes y los narcisos se abren paso a través de la tierra fría para alcanzar el cielo, nosotros también nos abrimos paso a través de los tiempos secos para alcanzar la luz de Cristo.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Joshua J. Cotten, unsplash.com/photos/T4ApSOlhD3g

Jesus Wants to Transform Us / JesĆŗs Quiere Transformarnos

As part of my penance a priest told me to pray for a person who’d hurt me. It was a big hurt, one that took much out of me and required many long processing conversations. My feelings toward this person were almost 180 degrees from charitable. My face must have reflected my horror at this suggestion. Praying for this person seemed not only absurd but impossible. 

I then learned that if the penance we are offered is too much, as in truly too much not just challenging, we can request something else. This priest had walked with me during this incident and knew I was not yet ready to pray for this person. He gently suggested I pray for the desire to pray. I wanted to back up even further and pray for the desire to pray for the desire but instead accepted penance #2. 

Jesus’ request to love our enemies is a challenge to be sure. The people I love elicit feelings of warmth and affection. It’s easy to pray for those people. There were no feelings of affection for this individual. The feelings were far away from love. 

But Jesus said to love our enemies and those who persecute us. He doesn’t suggest it or tell us to do it only if we can. Love is not just devotion and closeness. Love is wanting good for the other. That makes it easier. I cannot imagine feeling warmth but I can imagine wanting goodness for this person.

Jesus desires our hearts to be conformed to his. He wants to transform us. This is painful and hard because our human response to our enemies is not love but self-protection, justice, and sometimes revenge. But we can be confident knowing that while Jesus asks much, his generosity is great. He doesn’t expect us to instantly have a change of heart. He knows it is a journey and he is on it with us. 

It is okay if all we can muster is the desire to pray for one who has hurt us and I believe it is also okay to pray for the desire to pray for the desire to pray. If we offer our hearts to Jesus, he will teach us to have a heart like his and ultimately we will be able to love our enemies and those who persecute us and we will experience greater freedom as a result. 

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Como parte de mi penitencia, un sacerdote me dijo que rezara por una persona que me había hecho daño. Fue un gran dolor, uno que me afectó mucho y requirió muchas conversaciones largas de procesamiento. Mis sentimientos hacia esta persona eran exactamente opuestos a la caridad. Mi rostro debe haber reflejado mi horror ante esta sugerencia. Orar por esta persona parecía no sólo absurdo sino imposible.

Luego aprendí que si la penitencia que se nos ofrece es demasiado, como realmente demasiado y no solo desafiante, podemos pedir otra. Este sacerdote había caminado conmigo durante este incidente y sabía que aún no estaba listo para orar por esta persona. Suavemente me sugirió que orara por el deseo de orar. Quería retroceder aún más y orar por el deseo de orar por el deseo, pero en cambio acepté la penitencia #2.

El pedido de Jesús de amar a nuestros enemigos es sin duda un desafío. Las personas que amo provocan sentimientos de calidez y afecto. Es fácil orar por esas personas. No había sentimientos de afecto por este individuo. Los sentimientos estaban muy lejos del amor.

Pero Jesús dijo que amemos a nuestros enemigos y a los que nos persiguen. Él no lo sugiere ni nos dice que lo hagamos solo si podemos. El amor no es sólo devoción y cercanía. El amor es querer el bien del otro. Eso lo hace más fácil. No puedo imaginar sentir calidez, pero puedo imaginar querer bondad para esta persona.

Jesús desea que nuestro corazón sea conforme al suyo. Él quiere transformarnos. Esto es doloroso y duro porque nuestra respuesta humana a nuestros enemigos no es amor sino autoprotección, justicia y, a veces, venganza. Pero podemos estar seguros sabiendo que si bien Jesús pide mucho, su generosidad es grande. Él no espera que instantáneamente tengamos un cambio de corazón. Él sabe que vamos paso por paso y está caminando con nosotros.

Está bien si todo lo que podemos hacer es pedir el deseo de orar por alguien que nos ha lastimado. Si ofrecemos nuestro corazón a Jesús, él nos enseñará a tener un corazón como el suyo y finalmente podremos amar a nuestros enemigos y a los que nos persiguen y como resultado experimentaremos mayor libertad.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

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Ash Wednesday / MiƩrcoles de Ceniza

We are reminded today to give alms, pray, and fast. We remember that we don’t do these things for the world, but rather we do them for God and our Father who sees in secret will reward us.

During Lent, we are invited into the solitude, the place in our hearts where God dwells and only we and he have access to. St. John Paul II referred to it as original solitude. We are alone in the visible world. We commune with others and often our focus remains fixed on these others. We get concerned about our relationship with them and what they think. We desire approval and acceptance because without them we are alone. We think.

Original solitude, God seeing in secret, reminds us that we are never truly alone if we open our hearts to God. We can rest in his love at all times. God is inviting us deeper into this solitude this Lent. He asks us to give, to pray, and to fast to help others, yes, but also because those actions help purify us and bring us closer to him. And as we grow closer to him, we become more aware of our original solitude and rejoice in it because it is there that we are known, seen, and loved; there in the secret of our own and our Father’s heart. We learn to turn from our desire to share all with everyone else and instead reserve some things for just him.

Every Lent is a challenge and an invitation to step closer to the One who made us and is always calling us deeper. Choose to answer this invitation. Choose to give a little more, pray a little more, fast a little more, all the while keeping it between you and your Father in heaven. Come up with an answer to the inevitable question “What are you doing/giving up for Lent?” Be mysterious. Be elusive about it. Let it be an offering from you to God. Offer him your desire to share. Accept the challenge. Rsvp to the invitation. Let God work in your heart by meeting him there in that secret place where it’s just you and him. It’s going to be an amazing forty days.

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Hoy se nos recuerda dar limosna, orar y ayunar. Nos acordamos que no hacemos estas cosas por el mundo, sino que las hacemos para Dios y nuestro Padre que ve en lo secreto nos recompensará.

Durante la Cuaresma, somos invitados a la soledad, el lugar en nuestros corazones donde mora Dios y solo nosotros y él tenemos acceso. San Juan Pablo II se refirió a ella como la soledad original. Estamos solos en el mundo visible. Estamos en comunión con los demás y, a menudo, nuestro enfoque se fija en ellos. Nos preocupamos por nuestra relación con ellos y lo que piensan. Queremos la aprobación y aceptación porque sin ellas estamos solos. Eso es lo que pensamos.

La soledad original, Dios viendo en lo secreto, nos recuerda que nunca estamos verdaderamente solos si abrimos nuestro corazón a Él. Podemos descansar en su amor en todo momento. Dios nos está invitando a profundizar en este tipo de soledad esta Cuaresma. Nos pide dar, orar y ayunar para ayudar a los demás, sí, pero también porque esas acciones ayudan a purificarnos y acercarnos a él. Y a medida que nos acerquemos a él, tomamos más conciencia de nuestra soledad original y nos regocijamos en ella porque es allí donde somos conocidos, vistos y amados; allí en el secreto de nuestro corazón y él de nuestro Padre. Aprendemos a alejarnos de nuestro deseo de compartir todo con todos los demás y, en cambio, reservamos algunas cosas solo para él.

Cada Cuaresma es un desafío y una invitación a acercarnos a Aquel que nos hizo y que siempre nos llama a profundizar más. Elige responder a esta invitación. Elige dar un poco más, orar un poco más, ayunar un poco más, guardándolo todo el tiempo entre tú y tu Padre en el cielo. Piensa en una respuesta a la pregunta inevitable “¿Qué estás haciendo/renunciando para la Cuaresma?” Sé misterioso. Sea elusivo al respecto. Que sea una ofrenda tuya a Dios. Ofrécele tu deseo de compartir. Acepta el desafío. Responde a la invitación. Deja que Dios obre en tu corazón al encontrarlo allí en ese lugar secreto donde solo estás tú y él. Van a ser cuarenta días increíbles.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Ahna Ziegler, unsplash.com/photos/m7U6Zk-wU4M

Loving God First / Amar a Dios Primero

This Gospel is challenging. Loving anyone more than I love my family feels impossible. It is hard thinking that God gave me these people to journey through life with only to say “love them but love me more.” 

But that’s exactly how it is. It’s true I love him by loving them, but my goal is to be with him in heaven. We help each other grow in holiness and the goal of marriage is to help your spouse get to heaven but we must always put God first. He even says that if we love our parents or children more than him, we are not worthy of him. 

This isn’t an exhortation to not love my family but an affirmation of how important it is to love God. My heavenly Father must be first in my heart because he ordained it to be that way. In loving God we fulfill our reason for existing. We were created to freely love him and that is where we find true joy and peace.

Yes, we love our husbands and children but we must love God more. We receive the grace to do this through the sacraments. We receive Jesus in Holy Communion and we are reconciled to him in confession. God knows our weaknesses and he sent us his Son to teach us how to love him more. Jesus is a loving and gentle teacher and if we entrust ourselves to him, he will show us how to put our Father first in all we do and are. 

Where in your life do you need to put God first?

Jesus, please teach me how to love you more. Help me to put you first in everything.

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Este Evangelio es un reto. Amar a alguien más que amar a la familia parece imposible. Es difícil pensar que Dios me dio a estas personas para viajar por la vida con solo decir “ámalos pero ámame más”.

Pero así es. Es verdad que amo a Dios amándolos a ellos, pero mi meta es estar con él en el cielo. Nos ayudamos los unos a los otros a crecer en la santidad y el objetivo del matrimonio es ayudar al cónyuge a llegar al cielo, pero siempre debemos poner a Dios primero. Incluso dice que si amamos a nuestros padres o hijos más que a él, no somos dignos de él.

Esto no es una exhortación a no amar a la familia, sino una afirmación de cuán importante es amar a Dios. Mi Padre celestial debe ser primero en mi corazón porque así lo ordenó. Al amar a Dios cumplimos nuestra razón de existir. Fuimos creados para amarlo libremente y ahí es donde encontramos el verdadero gozo y la paz.

Sí, amamos a nuestros esposos e hijos, pero debemos amar más a Dios. Recibimos la gracia de hacer esto a través de los sacramentos. Recibimos a Jesús en la Sagrada Comunión y nos reconciliamos con él en la confesión. Dios conoce nuestras debilidades y nos envió a su Hijo para enseñarnos a amarlo más. Jesús es un maestro amoroso y dulce y si nos encomendamos a él, nos mostrará cómo poner a nuestro Padre en primer lugar en todo lo que hacemos y somos.

¿En qué parte de tu vida necesitas poner a Dios primero?

Jesucristo, por favor, enséñame a amarte más. Ayúdame a ponerte primero en todo.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

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Mary Our Mother

In addition to giving himself in the Eucharist, Jesus shared his mother with us too. When he told John, “Behold your mother,” we all received a spiritual mother and she’s a good one. 

Mary loves us and points us toward her Son. She doesn’t  judge the cleanliness of our house or our appearance or our life choices. She accepts us and welcomes us into her heart. She intercedes for us, bringing our petitions to Jesus herself. Who better to bring them than his mother?

Mary also models for us how to be a mother. In her quiet, humble way she raised the Savior of the world. We know her to be meek, gentle, and good. She is also strong and protective and I’ve learned that she loves my kids as much as I do. 

When my oldest was stumbling through his senior year of high school filled with indecision I felt like I was not being the mother he needed me to be. I decided to give him to Mary. I asked for her help and stepped back. I felt relieved knowing he was in her loving hands. After a year commuting to college from home he announced that he found a school he wanted to attend – the University of Mary. It was the perfect place for him. I believe it was Mary’s intercession that helped him find his path. 

God knows we sometimes struggle with our earthly parents and we sometimes struggle being parents so he gives us help. Whether you have a great or not so great relationship with your mother, you can be assured that Mary is always there loving you and willing to help. 

Where do you need your mother Mary’s intercession right now?

Mary, I ask for your prayers for my special intentions (name them) and trust that all will be well.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: Ruth Gledhill, unsplash.com/photos/PEepLemmb4Q

I Know My Sheep

Our practice is to attend 8:30 Sunday Mass but sometimes that doesn’t work out. One Monday after such a time, I ran into my priest and he asked where we were the preceding day. “I know my sheep,” he said with a smile. I knew he wasn’t chastising me. He cares about his parishioners. It feels good to be noticed and known. And missed.

I love the image of Jesus as the Good Shepherd. St Therese of Lisieux encourages us to be childlike in our love and trust of Jesus but I often feel more like a sheep than a child. Sheep aren’t really the brain trusts of the barnyard. Left alone, they become overly wooly. Their vision is impaired as is their movement. Recall Baarack, the Australian sheep found with over 75 pounds of wool weighing him down. 

This is a metaphor for the spiritual life. Left alone, my gaze shifts away from Jesus. When I am not diligent in prayer, when I wait too long between confessions, it becomes harder and harder to remember where I should be focusing my vision. It’s easy to get caught up in the issues being played out in the news or on social media. I find I am less patient, less charitable, and less nice. Instead of trying to see Christ in those around me, I see the negatives. My eyes become clouded with the wool of sin.  

I also find I am bearing the weight of my sins and stress.  In times of consolation, I can skip through my busy day of interruptions and tasks, and still feel good. I am energized by my life. Again, when I lose my habit of prayer, the stressors of life grow like uncontrolled wool and weigh me down. Everything is harder. I want to sleep.

Jesus is the shepherd who takes care of me. When I drag my wooly, weighted-down self to him, he shears off the sin and shows me the light again. I know his voice and he never ceases calling me to him. He is waiting patiently to help me. He desires to keep me safe. When I surrender to him, he sleeps at the gate of the sheepfold, protecting me from the wolves prowling outside. 

Jesus came so that we “may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). What a wonderful message! As we journey through this life, we have a shepherd who came for the express purpose of bringing us salvation and abundance. We know his voice. We know he wants us to follow him. It is hard and brings its own set of challenges in a world that has turned away from God, but we may be assured that our shepherd will always be there guiding, protecting, and shearing away the excess that gets in our way.

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Merridith Frediani loves words and is delighted by good sentences. She also loves Lake Michigan, dahlias, the first sip of hot coffee in the morning, millennials, and playing Sheepshead with her husband and three kids. She writes for Catholic Mom, Diocesan.com, and her local Catholic Herald. Her first book Draw Close to Jesus: A Woman’s Guide to Adoration is available at Our Sunday Visitor and Amazon. You can learn more at merridithfrediani.com.

Feature Image Credit: pen_ash, https://pixabay.com/photos/sheep-wool-woolly-livestock-farm-2423165/