Tag: Merridith Frediani

In all the other years of my life, even ones that were less than great, I haven’t taken much notice of the Scripture passages we read as we came to the end of the liturgical year. That’s not to say I was oblivious but the end of days seemed too fantastical and far off to cause me much interior unsettledness. After this year, though, I suspect we are all sitting up a little straighter in the pews. What if this is it? What if this is the beginning of the end? Perhaps the sickles are soon to be swung across the earth separating the saints and the sinners. Maybe the destruction of the temple is upon us. Our nation is rising against itself, there were a record number of wildfires, a record number of tropical storms, and some weird clouds of dust that blew over from Africa.

I’ve posed this question to my husband several times this year as bad thing kept following bad thing. The poor man shook his head because he doesn’t share my embrace of memento mori, that is, the remembrance of one’s own death.

For a while, I secretly kind of hoped it was the start of end days. It’s been a tiring year of wave after wave of events that make me want to crawl back under the covers in the morning. Let’s be done with it, I thought. But I’m reminded of some wise words from St. Paul in his letter to the Romans. “Hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts” (Rom 5:5) and “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Rom 5:20).

As we hear about the end of the world in our liturgical readings, I suspect this isn’t it and that’s ok. I could be wrong, and that’s ok too. There’s much we don’t know and the uncertainty is hard for many of us. What we do know is that we must remain hopeful. We will die one day and the world will end one day. As Christians we deal with that through the virtue of hope in eternal joy with God in heaven. Our time here on earth is tiny compared to our time in eternity. Hope in this reality will not disappoint us.

We find further comfort knowing that even though there is a lot of sin and ugliness right now and it may feel bleak, God will shower us in grace. And in the end, whether we’re talking about our life, our world or just this rotten time, it’s going to be ok. Have hope and pray for grace. It really is going to be ok.

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I don’t remember the exact path of the conversation but the Fruits of the Spirit came up and my daughter who was 17 or 18 at the time rattled them off as one word, ending with “self-control oh oh!” After I stopped laughing (because who expects their teen to know the fruits let alone sing them), I gave a little thank you to God for both Catholic education and this amazing girl he allowed me to be the mother of. My daughter quickly directed me to a YouTube video of the song she was singing and I quickly learned that the fruits of the Spirit aren’t a banana, a watermelon, or a lemon. They are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

These are important virtues for us to strive for and are needed now. Paul warns the Galatians of the works of the flesh and sadly these are still present in our world today: immorality (abortion), impurity (sex outside of marriage), idolatry (spending more time pursing money than Jesus), hatred and rivalry (it’s an election year), outbursts of fury (violence and looting), acts of selfishness (so many examples), dissensions and factions (lack of civil discourse). Paul is very clear what the consequences are: “those who do such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God” (Gal 5: 21). This is where we may say “whoa! too far. Are you saying these people are going to hell?” Well, it kinda reads that way.

Our job as Catholics is to avoid that list of things and focus on the fruits by keeping our gaze on Jesus. We can put the fruits of the Spirit into action not only pro-actively but reactively as well. Just because we are surrounded by immorality, selfishness, and division doesn’t mean we have to join in. We can pray for others and avoid getting sucked in.

We can fight against the evil of abortion through how we vote. We can leave work at a reasonable hour to spend time with our families or go to Mass on our lunch break. We can respond to those who disagree with us with patience and self-control.

Sometimes I get frustrated that I can’t change the world but then God gently reminds me that it’s not my job to do that. I can change me and how I interact with the world. It may be a tiny ripple but it is important. If each of us commits to living our lives with the fruits of the Spirit, there will be a lot of little ripples that, I believe, will one day create a wave. So don’t be a banana, be a fruit of the Spirit.

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Back in the day when lords and ladies were more of a thing, their titles held authority. The peasants listened to and obeyed the lord. (It may not have been a willing consent, but that is irrelevant for this article.) The lord ruled the house in the 1300’s. While we don’t embrace the feudal system any longer, the question Jesus asks in this Gospel is still pertinent – why do we call him Lord but not follow his commands? Better yet, why do I call him Lord and not follow his commands? I can’t control others, but I can control me.

We can know a tree by its fruit and a good fruit-bearing tree has a strong root system below the surface. I want good fruit to come from me, but like the person in the Gospel today, it seems my roots are shallow and my house isn’t built on bedrock. Too often the wind and waves threaten its stability. Too often I fall prey to despair and frustration. Too often I think I know best. Thus, the answer to the question “why do I call him Lord but not follow his commands?” Pride.

There is good reason why it’s considered the root of evil and is the base of Dante’s purgatory. Pride leads to stubbornness and laziness. It fosters arrogance. It steals trust and trust is important. I thought I had my house built deep enough but when Covid got going, the house started shaking. For many of us the current state of our society is the clichéd perfect storm – pandemic, riots, contentious presidential election and quarantine. Loads of uncertainty about what is real and what is ahead plus good old-fashioned fear have, I suspect, shuddered many of our foundations. Why didn’t we follow his commands? We’d be better off now instead of wallowing in this tide of torpor and sea of unsettledness.

Here’s what I realized: it doesn’t matter why. The why isn’t as important as the fact that the choices I made led me here. I have a choice- free will given generously to me as a beloved daughter of God. You have the same choice. I can choose to berate myself for not building a strong enough house. After all I know what I need to do to keep my interior life in order so I can weather the storms. I can make up excuses. I can blame the world. It won’t change the feeling of being unmoored or the sense of disquiet.

Or, I can acknowledge that I messed up (again), come humbly before Jesus and ask for forgiveness. God is astoundingly merciful. I can turn to him in my struggle and he will help me get grounded again. He will help me with that foundation so that I am prepared for the next storm because friends, the storms will keep coming, but we don’t have to have our peace rocked every time.

God is God and his love is big and merciful and if I ask for forgiveness he will send his grace. If I commit to following his commands and ask for his help, things will get better.

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