Tag: Tami Urcia

I once heard a talk relating motherhood to the Eucharist. Just as Christ gives himself totally to us in the form of bread, a mother gives herself totally to her child(ren). As I layed there naked and cut open on the operating table during my C-sections, and my arms were spread open so that I was literally in the form of a cross, I was able to say “This is my body, given up for you.”  

As the months progressed, my 8-inch scar and the 2-3 month recovery were a reminder of the sacrifice I had made for each of them to be born, “This is my body, given up for you.” 

As I nursed my children and endured nights with little sleep, “This is my body, given up for you.” 

As I realized that being clean was a luxury after being soiled with various bodily fluids, “This is my body, given up for you.” 

As my showers, my bathroom breaks, and my meals were constantly interrupted by little persons’ needs, “This is my body, given up for you.” 

I remember my husband telling me during a low moment that being a parent wasn’t babysitting, but rather constant care 24/7 as long as you lived. It doesn’t sink in until you’re in the thick of it.

Today’s First Reading reminded me of that moment of desperation: “each person is tempted when lured and enticed by his desire.” My desire for sleep, quiet and just a moment to myself was getting the best of me. But the reading goes on to describe the beauty that shines forth, despite the cross. “All good giving and every perfect gift is from above, [] with home there is no alteration or shadow caused by change [becoming a parent] He willed to give us birth by the word of truth that we may be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures [my children].” 

I admit there seem to be more moments of trial than moments of beauty at this stage in life raising littles, but knowing that “all good giving and every perfect gift is from above” helps me to have a more positive attitude. My children are my greatest gift. Thank you Father, for your great gifts. 

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This past weekend we celebrated my 7 year old son’s birthday. It was an emotional one for me because I realized that we very well could have been mourning on this day instead of rejoicing. I am so grateful to my merciful Lord and the Doctor who had the courage to perform a risky surgery so that my son could still be with us. 

I ask myself why we are so “lucky” (ie. blessed) and so many other families are suffering. I could name a handful of local young Catholic families with several children who have lost a mom or a dad in the past six months. Whether it be from an accident, a freak illness or some other unexpected cause, these kids are now growing up without a mom or a dad.

Sometimes these thoughts make me weary and together with my daily tasks and taking care of an infant, exhaustion sets in. At these times I feel like I can relate to Jesus in today’s Gospel.

 “Jesus withdrew toward the sea with his disciples. [ ] He had cured many and, as a result, those who had diseases were pressing upon him to touch him.” Can you imagine how exhausted He must have been? If we have little ones, or work or daily tasks “pressing upon us” all day we just want to be left alone. We want some time to be quiet, to relax and to process. Yet, the crowds in this passage seem merciless. They were encroaching on His personal space. They were demanding. Yet, Jesus in his compassion, saw their need and did not deny them. He cured many and cast out evil spirits. 

So whenever we feel like our daily life is crowding us, pressing upon us or closing in on us, let us remember what Jesus did. He asked his disciples to ready a boat and he withdrew toward the sea. 

What does your boat look like? Where can you withdraw for some quiet time with our Lord? Perhaps you live on a lake and can gaze out on the water as Jesus did. Perhaps you have a prayer corner in your home or an office with religious images on the walls. Perhaps you have to lock yourself inside your room. Whatever it takes, don’t be afraid to get into your “boat” and withdraw with your Lord and God. 

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Have you ever sat and thought long and hard about time? Sometimes I think to myself, “that second that just passed a second ago is now in the past and will never be lived again.” Sometimes I think back to 9-11 and consider how that was already over 20 years ago. The times I have been pregnant in my third trimester, I thought to myself “can time go any slower?!” and then as soon as the baby was out, time continued on at its rapid pace (My baby is 5 months old already!!).

Time is such a mystery and if we think on it too hard, it might be enough to befuddle us bonkers. It is such a consolation that in heaven there is no sense of time and all we have to “worry” about is rejoicing in God’s holy presence.

God works within space and time, yet His words are also timeless. In today’s Gospel, Jesus calls Matthew saying “Follow me.” Later he states, “I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.” 

God also calls us to follow Him each and every day. He recognizes that not one of us is righteous, we are all sinners, yet He calls us anyway. His call is simple, “Follow me.”

Over Christmastime, I watched a movie with my children called “The Star”. It is an animated film that came out a few years ago with a depiction of the Christmas movie from the point of view of the animals, particularly Mary and Joseph’s donkey. His dream had always been to march in the “Royal Caravan” with the pristine horses. After meeting Mary and experiencing her kindness he realizes that protecting her on her trip to Bethlehem is much more important to him. In the end, he realizes that he actually did participate in a royal caravan, because he carried the King of Kings on his back. 

Following Jesus might entail something different for each person. For the donkey it was carrying the King of Kings on his back, for us, it is carrying the King of Kings in our heart. 

However God might be calling you, within this mystery of time that we call life on Earth, may your answer always imitate that of the Virgin Mary, who simply said “yes.”

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Just last night, my husband and I were talking about good friends. I mentioned how in one city I had so many acquaintances but very few close friends and how in another city I had great affection for many of my friends, even though I haven’t lived there in almost a decade. 

We were also reminiscing about how long we were single and how neither one of us ever thought we would get married. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would just have to be the best single aunt I could be, but would never have children of my own, and he just thought he would live with his family for the rest of his life. And here we are, about to celebrate our 10th anniversary in a few months, with 5 beautiful children!

Life really does have a way of throwing you for a loop sometimes, but then it throws you plenty of surprises too, and I’m talking about the good kind. I am reminded of the Heinz ketchup commercial “The best things come, to those who wait.” I always thought that was tongue in cheek, but with a few more years under my belt, I can see that it actually applies to many situations. 

For example, I ask myself how long the leper in today’s Gospel had to wait to be healed by Jesus. The passage doesn’t mention his age, but somehow I imagine he had dealt with the disease for some time. And just like that, with seven words from Jesus, “The leprosy left him immediately.” 

Perhaps there is something that you have been praying for for years, even decades. Perhaps you are hoping for physical healing or waiting for a loved one to come back to the Church. Perhaps you are experiencing spiritual dryness and are asking for more consolation in your prayer life. The list could go on and on just as our waiting can go on and on. 

Our faith tells us that with just one word from Jesus, each one of these situations can be resolved, if He wills it. Maybe today is not the day, nor tomorrow, but one day, either this side of eternity or the other, we will be made clean just like the leper. 

Let us use our time of waiting, no matter how long it may be, to draw ever closer to our Lord in prayer. Amen.  

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As my family walked down the aisle to receive Holy Communion, I noticed my three-year-old approach the Eucharistic Minister with hands folded. When he reached her, he looked up at her with pleading eyes, hoping she would give him the sacred host. Instead, she placed her hand on top of his head, giving him a quick blessing. He turned away and began whining, then crying. He wanted to receive so badly! And while I know full well that he has no understanding of the Body of Christ just yet, I was touched by his yearning. 

Going to Mass and receiving Communion is one of the most powerful ways of praying, but what does it mean to “pray always” as Jesus talks about in today’s Gospel? 

Perhaps beginning with a morning offering to give our whole day to Christ.  Perhaps repeating the Jesus prayer over and over. Perhaps attending daily Mass. Perhaps fingering a rosary bracelet throughout the day. Perhaps offering up our daily chores, work, care of children, etc. to God for some intention. There are so many ways to pray!

But I question whether or not Jesus really meant by “pray always” to pray at every single minute of the day. I mean, He knows more than anyone how human we are. He knows we must attend to our tasks and that our hearts are not lifted up to Him 24/7. He knows that we often forget our Creator. 

Perhaps He meant rather, that we should always turn to Him in prayer. Pray when you are happy. Pray when you are sad. Pray in praise. Pray in Thanksgiving. Pray when you are in need. Pray when others are in need. Pray for the salvation of your soul and the souls of others. Whatever the situation may be, turn to God in prayer. 

Our souls thirst for God and he longs for us to come to Him. And whether our prayer be consistent, persistent, or scattered here and there, may we remember to pray always. 

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And just like that, 8 weeks have gone by and I am back to work. My scheduled C-section went off without a hitch, my baby girl is healthy and I am getting back into the swing of things slowly but surely. It seems like such an overused cliche, but time really does fly. How is it that the hours move forward at a snail’s pace when you are in those last couple weeks of pregnancy, but once the baby is out of the womb it’s like the Indy 500!?

My boys adore their new little sister. They want to kiss her and hold her and run their hands along her silky, soft hair. They want to look at her and be with her and say “cute!” over and over again. Even at her baptism, while my dad (a permanent deacon) was speaking, my two youngest boys were holding her hands and smiling at her and my sister whispered to me sarcastically “They don’t love their sister at all do they?!” It is precious to see how they dote on her.

During maternity leave, I had a little more time to be like Mary in today’s Gospel (I am normally very much a Martha). I had more time to pray and I even read a book! I know I am way behind the 8 ball, but I finally read Abby Johnson’s “Unplanned”. Very appropriate as we are now in Respect Life Month and in the midst of 40 Days for Life. 

Her journey of conversion could be likened to those of the people of Nineveh in today’s First Reading. Just as they put on sack cloth and ashes in repentance, she left Planned Parenthood and went directly to a pro-life agency and began advocating for life. 

Reading her story has reignited my desire to help this cause in any small way that I can. Perhaps I can donate baby items to the local pregnancy center. Perhaps I can commit to an hour of prayer in front of the clinic downtown. Perhaps I can contact my local politicians so they don’t vote to pass a bill that does not protect the lives of the vulnerable…

So my “Mary moments” of stillness and reflection can lead to “Martha moments” of reaching out to others. Reading about others’ conversions can help me consider how I need to change to become more Christ-like. 

And while this mother’s heart has so enjoyed being home these past weeks, I am now called to move forward and onward, to continue ministering to others. Life is full. Life is beautiful. 

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As a child, my parents taught me to tithe 10% of every dime I made. I started delivering newspapers when I was nine years old and babysitting when I was eleven or twelve, so each week I would bring my contribution to church.

My dad was on the stewardship committee at our parish for many years and he loved to tell the story of me as a child leaning over to my mom asking if I could borrow $1.20 to put in the collection basket because I had earned $12 that week and had forgotten my wallet.

I share this not to toot my own horn, but rather to express that there is something truly beautiful about tithing and it has helped me to keep God first by cutting Him the first check right off the top.

My husband and I have been through some tough times for sure. Unemployment, underemployment, a signed work contract that wasn’t honored, renters who didn’t pay, people who trashed portions of our home, etc. But not once have we been without food to eat or a roof over our heads and very seldom have we even been in debt.

If any of you are familiar with Dave Ramsey, he suggests doing a monthly $0 budget, where you keep track of all income versus all expenses and they should balance out to $0. I have been doing this for quite some time, and somehow, I always end up in the red. (BOO!) But what never ceases to amaze me and what I don’t fully understand, is that even though I come out in the negative on paper, I always have money in the bank left over! It is almost like God multiplies my own little loaves and fishes each and every month! God is good!

I truly believe this is a phenomenon of God’s generosity. He takes my measly 10% and makes sure I never go without.

God shows similar generosity in today’s First Reading. Ruth, a poor foreigner who left her family and her native land to take care of her mother-in-law, was blessed in abundance. Boaz recognized her virtue and took her as his wife and she was never in need again. Most likely, it didn’t occurred to her that she was being generous, she was just acting out of love, but God rewarded her nonetheless. Not only did she enjoy financial stability, she became the great-grandmother of King David!

Today’s Psalm declares: “See how the Lord blesses those who fear him.” The Lord wants to bless us so much more than we can imagine. We may have to weather poverty or storms or difficulties, but we can always find God’s hand in our lives, no matter what we are going through.

So whether it be by tithing, taking care of a loved one or serving in a ministry God has called us to, let us strive to be generous with God. Then sit back and see just how generous He is with you!

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There are definitely no minced words in today’s readings. The children of Israel began serving other gods, so the Lord got angry with them and allowed them to suffer disastrous consequences.

In the Gospel, a young man asks what more he can do and Jesus tells Him to give up everything and follow Him. Jesus does not congratulate him for following the commandments, nor does He say, “Oh alright, you are already such a good guy, you win a free ticket to heaven!” 

No, Jesus speaks the truth in justice. Sometimes what He says is not such music to our ears. Sometimes it is more like a clashing gong. 

Yet we know that his promises are true. We know that what He says, what He asks us to do, is for our own good, for our own ultimate good, for our eternal salvation. 

As parents, we often have to tell our children what they do not want to hear. We often have to limit sweets, screen time, and other “fun” things in order to teach them self-control and how to take care of themselves. We have to show them how to take turns with their siblings, how to share, how to conduct themselves with good manners, etc. None of this is easy for them to hear. Much of it probably does not sound fair. And if they do not obey, they too have consequences. 

Yet as they grow, they also realize that what we have attempted to teach them in these not so pleasant moments is ultimately for their own good as well. They may rebel as the children of Israel did, or they may think they are already good enough as the man in the Gospel did. In the end, only God is their judge. 

Today, let us ask God not to mince words with us but to tell us directly what more we should do to love and serve Him more fully, more completely and more purely.

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**Due to server issues, this post was not published on 8/12/21, so we are posting it now.**

Today I am scheduled for a repeat C-section. As I write, I don’t know if I will go into labor early or be lying in a hospital bed as you read this, but the miracle is the same. I will be holding our first baby girl in just a short time. As a mother, those last few weeks are grueling in so many ways. Not only is my body just “done” with being pregnant as I experience the aches and pains associated with a watermelon-size bowling ball in my abdomen, but the anticipation alone is tough to ride out. There are nerves, a little fear, and the overwhelming joy at welcoming new life into the family.

Sometimes it seems that the children of those of us with big families get lost in the crowd. “Oh, there they go again! They just had ANOTHER one! How many do they have now? I can’t remember…” Yet each life is so precious and God knows us each by name.

With four boys at home, I am hoping this little one will be a calming factor in our active, rough and tumble household. I am hoping they will learn to treat her gently and treat each other more gently in the process. Barely a day goes by without one of them getting an “owie”, usually because they are chasing each other or disagreeing about something.

So I find myself repeating over and over again: “Say sorry to your brother.” It is often hard for them to eek out that one simple word. And sometimes it’s even harder for the one receiving it to say, “that’s okay”.  

Yet in our Gospel today we hear Peter ask that difficult question: “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?” And Jesus goes on to answer “seventy-seven times”. In other words, as many times as necessary.

How do we instill that in our children? How can I teach my boys to forgive over and over and over as Jesus would? How will I teach my daughter?

We can lead by example. My husband and I make our fair share of mistakes as well and we ask for forgiveness from our children for misunderstanding them. When we ask for forgiveness and tell them we’re sorry, perhaps it helps them to do the same with their brothers a bit more easily.

So whether the offense be big or small, we are called to imitate Christ in pardoning our brothers and sisters. Will we forgive them seven times or seventy-seven times? May God grant us the grace to do the latter. 

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