Tag: Kathryn Mulderink

Have you ever been so hungry that you were in danger of collapsing? Jesus is not usually prone to hyperbole, so his comment here seems factual:  if he sends the crowd that has been following him for three days away to their homes, “they will collapse on the way.”

Jesus’ heart is moved with pity for them and is determined to do something to help these thousands of people, while the disciples seem to be somber realists. “What else can we possibly do?” they say. They are out of options.

But love is never out of options. Love finds a way. And the endless, creative, Love of God can make a way where there is no way. And so, Jesus orders them all to sit down and he takes the seven loaves and gives thanks. To Whom? To the Father in Heaven, undoubtedly. Then he breaks the bread and gives it to the disciples to distribute.

Does this sound familiar? This thanksgiving and blessing and breaking of bread is the way Jesus prefigures the Eucharist over and over in the Gospels. As a prefiguring of the Eucharist, we see that Jesus does the blessing and his disciples take care of the distribution. And we see that there is always, always enough to satisfy all. There is always an abundance, for all. An OVERabundance, even.  When everyone has eaten and is satisfied, the disciples gather the fragments and fill seven baskets! This Living Bread that came down from Heaven may seem small, but it will never run out.

And we are reminded that the Eucharist we receive is a prefiguring of the Heavenly Banquet to which we are all called, even as it is our sustenance along the way. Without the Eucharist, we are in danger of collapsing on our way to the Wedding Feast, but Jesus has made certain that we will have all we need to arrive whole and prepared!

The next time we approach the altar to receive the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ, let’s recall with confidence that this is the same Jesus who fed the multitude because his heart had pity on them, and we can be confident that he feeds us his very SELF because his heart is beating with love for us as well.  

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Saul becomes Paul. Are they the same person? Yes and no.

We know that Christ has come to make us a new creation. He makes the whole world new, and each of us new. He proclaims in today’s Gospel that his disciples will do things that were hitherto unheard of, like driving out demons, speaking new languages, overcoming poison, and healing the sick.

And we know that when Saul was knocked to the ground surrounded by a brilliant light and the voice of Jesus asked him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” he was never the same again. Blinded and humbled and stopped in his tracks from arresting followers of “the Way,” Saul was profoundly changed. So profound was this change that on recovering his strength he immediately began to proclaim in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God!

He is made new. In one moment, his cramped and somewhat self-righteous zeal for the Jewish faith has him chasing down Christians to arrest them. In the next moment, his radical new (Christian) self is worshipping with them and proclaiming the Truth of Jesus Christ. He is, in essence, a new creation. Even though he is the same man, he has been made new.

Did he receive a new name? Actually, he didn’t! We often think he did (and Jesus DID sometimes re-name people) because when we first encounter him in Acts he is called Saul, and we know him as Paul. Like many people in the Bible, he had two names: Saul was his Hebrew name, but he was also known by his Roman/Latin name, Paul. It seems he began to use his Roman name because it was the name the Gentiles would have been familiar with, and he felt called to preach to the Gentiles.

But he was certainly made new in Christ Jesus, as we all are!

We may not see a bright light or get knocked to the ground, but the Lord is always calling to us and always coming to us! He wants to convert our hearts and transform them to be like His Holy Heart, so that we become love, like Him. Where are the points in your life that God has stopped you in your tracks, prevented you from doing something, or changed your course? Has God ever blinded you by His Presence, given you a word or a question, directed your heart in a surprising direction?

There are many ways that God uses to confirm us in the faith and invite us into His glorious will for us. On this celebration of the Conversion of St. Paul, let’s ask him to help us make the small and large changes that will make us truly new in Christ.

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Pharisees. As we read through Mark’s Gospel, we see Jesus making enemies when he is only trying to hold out the truth to them (have you ever felt like this?). The Pharisees are the ones who hold themselves above everyone else because they know the law up and down, inside and out. And they follow the law. Scrupulously. Not just the Scriptural law, but the hundreds – HUNDREDS – of traditional interpretations of that law. In their (self-determined) superiority, they ruled over the people and in their (self-determined) self-righteousness, they looked down on all others.

This is what humans will do. Because we are fallen, and we are free. So wherever there are rules, there will be a tendency for some to act like the Pharisees. There will always be some who assure themselves that they are doing things properly because they are obeying the precise letter of “the law.” And it never ends there! For those who think and operate like the Pharisees, there will always be a tendency to nitpick the (self-determined) failures of others.

At some point on the spiritual journey, most of us become hyper-aware of “the rules” and work hard to conform ourselves, our behavior, our habits, to those rules. Saying specific prayers, attending Mass, confessing our sins, and practicing other devotions are good things! But the enemy can turn these good things into emblems of (self-determined) righteousness, and even tempt us to think we are better than others. We may even be tempted to look down on others or begin to nitpick inessential details. This is not the point of the rules the Church gives us!

If we do these “good things” just to “be good Catholics”, we are missing the essential thing. Religion is not about following rules (though the rules are certainly the guardrails that keep us on the road and not in the ditch!). All of the many practices and devotions in the Church have one essential goal: to help us encounter and love Jesus Christ, who alone is holy!

We are made to glorify HIM, and not ourselves.

The Pharisees were glorifying THEMSELVES, and not God.

In their (self-determined) righteousness, the Pharisees refused to let Jesus’ transforming love heal their hardened hearts so that their lives could open up to the unimaginably broad horizons of God’s will for them. We can do the same thing – God has given us a free will that makes self-determination possible, but what we determine for ourselves will always be so much smaller, so cramped and limited, compared to what God wills for us. Let’s determine to open ourselves and offer ourselves as completely as we can to Him, trusting that He wants more for us than we can imagine!

Lord, I give everything to you and I accept everything that You send, knowing that Your love for me is greater than my weakness and littleness, and will never fail me. Amen.

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“The whole town was gathered at the door.” What would this look like if it happened at your house? “After sunset, they brought to him all who were ill or possessed by demons.” What would you think about this? What would your friends think about this? What would you do?

Jesus responded by curing many and driving out demons. If we had that ability, maybe we would do this too. But then, Jesus does something we probably would not do – he leaves and goes far away from all the people clamoring for his help, celebrating him, undoubtedly wanting more from him.

He goes away to pray. He leaves the crowd so that he can be alone with his Father.

This is a recurring pattern in the Gospel, so it must have happened often. Jesus, who alone is the Holy One, who alone is the Lord, who alone is the Son of God, goes to be alone with his Father. In his singular power and steadfastness, in his spiritual perfection, in his emotional and psychological integrity, he is utterly independent of every inordinate human influence. He is focused on the Mission from his Father, and neither the criticism of others nor their adulation can move him unless it is the will of the Father. And so, he returns to communion with the Father repeatedly, even when he must get up very early or stay up very late to do so.

His friends go looking for him (in another passage, they seem to think he is losing his mind because they cannot understand his actions). When they tell him “everyone is looking for you,” he responds that he needs to keep moving, to preach in other places, so that others can experience the Good News. Was this the message he received from the Father in prayer? It seems so, by his words, “For this purpose have I come.”

And then he preaches and heals throughout all of Galilee, to fulfill the Mission given to him by the Father.

When we remain firmly in the Truth of our own mission, we too can be less disrupted by the criticism or adulation or advice of others. We all have a mission, we all have tasks put before us by the Father. How do we know what they are? They are usually revealed in the duties, interruptions, and inspirations of the moment: our family, our parish, our job, those in need before us. It is only when we spend quiet time with the Lord, as Jesus did, that our purpose can become clearer to us, and we can fulfill our mission with courage and confidence. Otherwise, we can be like snowflakes in the wind, being blown in every direction by influences that are not holy.

In 2022, let’s resolve to imitate Christ by spending more time in solitary prayer, receiving our mission and the grace to fulfill it from the Father Who loves us.

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If you give too much attention to the news, to social media, or to the murmurings of the masses, you will find endless reasons to be confused, afraid, even despondent. But if you contemplate the Lord’s Presence in the tabernacle or open the Scriptures, you will hear a Sovereign God say, “Be not afraid!”

Today, we celebrate the Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of the Universe, and are invited to contemplate the radiant Truth that the victory is already won, Our Lord and Savior is already seated at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty. As Priest, Prophet, and King, Jesus in constantly offering Himself and interceding in the name of, and on behalf of, His people. This is why we need fear nothing, this is why Jesus tells us that when things seem to be at their worst, his people should “stand erect and raise your heads because your redemption is at hand” (Luke 21:28).

We can rejoice no matter how things seem. Not simply because we have been saved – Catholicism is so much richer than that! Our Faith is about encounter, relationship, and union. In Christ, we are able to encounter the loving, living God (on the altar, in the Word, and in each other), and from that encounter we are transformed and empowered to bring the Good News to others. God is always calling us in love to deeper relationship, to a loving union with Him, and God is always coming to us in love, to transform us and empower us to be the bright lights of His love to others. We share in the very work of the King of the Universe.

Our union with the divine changes us from who we are to who we are created to be. And we are here, living in a world that is in desperate need that we BE who God created us to be. We are created to be disciples and friends of this compassionate King. We are created to be, like him, arrows pointing to the Father with our lives. We are created and called to be leaven for world enervated and deflated by sin and selfwardness; to be the salt that enhances and preserves what would otherwise rot; to be light in every darkened place. We are anointed into the very mission of Christ, to be – IN HIM – God’s priests, prophets, and kings.

We are created to be radiantly awesome; and this culture has a huge need for our awesomeness. We are created to be holy, and this world has a deep need for our holiness.

We are lifted up by bowing low before our Lord Jesus Christ, because he alone is the holy One, he alone is the Lord, he alone is the Most High! What a gift we have been given, to know and be loved by the King of the Universe, and to share in the mission of salvation.

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I love the widow’s mite, even as it challenges me every time to give of my substance and not my surplus. It is no act of great trust to give only what is left over AFTER I take care of my needs and probably my wants, and then, once I’m sure my own situation is provided for, give some of the surplus.

As I write this, I am on the couch with one of the most famous illnesses in the history of the world (after Bubonic Plague and the Spanish Flu, I’d guess) and unable to do much of anything. It is hard to be immobilized when you have several jobs, children, grandchildren, charitable activities, writing deadlines. There is a moment when you wonder, “What will happen?!” And then you recognize how the Lord reaches in, fills in the gaps, and makes sure that all the necessaries are actually attended to, that people are generous with their various assistances, and patience is the virtue that will win the day/week.

I also realized that very often the objective tasks we do (and we are definitely called to certain tasks, by our duties and responsibilities, the needs of the people before us, and the movements of the Spirit within us) can keep us from the deep self-examination that is the call to ongoing conversion. Being forced to hold still can bring this reality to the forefront.

So, as I wrestled a fever for what seemed like endless days, I felt that I “wasn’t doing anything.” But of course, I could be doing something if I accept this unavoidable difficulty as a gift from the Hand of God and offer it back to Him in love. Like the widow who dropped her few pennies into the temple treasury, I am able to give nothing more. It’s all I have. And it’s all God wants. Because it takes great trust to give something that seems so insignificant and know God can do great things with it.

So, the meditation for each of us is about how generously we give. Do we give of our surplus, or do we give to the Lord first, and then trust that the rest will be enough for us? Do we give what we choose to give, what is satisfying to us, or do we give in each moment whatever the Lord is asking us to give? Today it may be to endure this fever with patience, tomorrow it may be to do some great act of charity. Does our giving cost us anything? Or does it simply prop up our own idea of ourselves as generous (which is to make ourselves the actual recipient of our gift… which is no gift at all…)?

Lord, teach us to walk with you in every moment, so that we give of our substance, and give what you are inviting us to give, so that we are truly free.

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Peace and harmony, love and unity and every good thing. Isn’t that what we all hope for, what we pray for, what we sing hymns about?  Isn’t that what Jesus came to bring to earth?

Apparently not.

Jesus says he came to bring fire and division. “I have come to set the earth on fire…! Do you think that I have come to establish peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division.”

Wait. What?

Fire and division? What kind of fire? What causes the division?

The fire that Jesus wants to set on the earth is not a destructive fire, but a creative fire, the Fire of Love, the Fire that is the Spirit – the Spirit that IS the Fire of Jesus, sent from the Father and the Son. The Spirit that sheds the light of Truth on everything, the Spirit that is the Word that is a Lantern to our path, the Spirit that comes from the Father and the Son and allows God to be “over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:6), the Spirit that consumes everything that is not Love so that Love can reign. The Spirit of Love that draws all souls to the Good, the True, and the Beautiful. That is the Fire that Jesus came to set on the earth, and why he was in anguish; without this spiritual fire, we are dull and lifeless.

And those who choose this Spirit, those who allow themselves to be ignited with the life-giving Love of God, will be opposed by those who do not! Even within families, there will be division because those who resist the Spirit cannot understand those who surrender to the Spirit; those who are living only a natural life cannot understand those who are living a supernatural life. Households will be in disagreement, but the patience of those who are filled with the Spirit can eventually share that radiant joy and love and unity with others!

So, Jesus ultimately DOES want peace and unity, in love. But not a shallow and superficial unity that is no more than mutual tolerance in order to avoid confrontation or authentic conversion. Jesus wants a communion that is true and deep and bubbling up from the Springs of the Spirit, a communion that is only possible when we are whole and free, a communion that it is everlasting.

In this world, that kind of communion will always encounter opposition. It is our task to reach out to the opposition in patience and love, knowing that the Spirit can make all things new. 

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**Post for 10-10-2021**

Is it easy to get to Heaven? Does everyone get in, in the end? What does it cost?

These are important questions for framing our worldview, our outlook on life, the way we approach decisions and choices in our daily life. Because if it is easy to get into the heavenly Kingdom, if everyone is admitted in the end, if it costs little, then the little decisions of our daily lives aren’t that important.

If, on the other hand, it is hard to enter the kingdom of God, if it is, in Jesus’ own words, IMPOSSIBLE for human beings to be saved, then we’d better have a good plan.

The Good News is that WE don’t actually need to come up with a plan on our own. Since the beginning, God Himself has had a Plan in place, because “all things are possible for God,” even – especially – things that are utterly impossible for us.

The rich young man has a poor plan. He seems to think that obeying the commandments is enough to get into the kingdom; he may even be asking Jesus the question about what he must do to inherit eternal life so that he can go away feeling justified after declaring that he observes all the rules. But instead he goes away sad, because Jesus tells him there is more. “You are lacking in one thing,” and directs him to sell everything so that he is free to follow Him.

“He had many possessions,” and he was not ready to let go of them. Possessions (material and immaterial) give security, comfort, prestige, even popularity and power. Following Jesus without clinging to stuff requires us to let go of the superficial securities and comforts of our stuff; letting go means trusting Jesus completely, and not our own resources.

Jesus was giving the man the opportunity of a lifetime – to jettison all the stuff he was hanging onto so that his hands would be free to embrace all that the Lord wanted to give him. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let go. So he went away sad.

But there’s still Good News, because the man was not lost forever. Jesus didn’t say, “FAIL! You’ve missed your chance, and now you are forever excluded from the Kingdom.” He never does, because Jesus never runs out of options. The Lord is infinitely creative in opening opportunities for us to see what we are and holding up a vision of what He calls us to be, inviting us to let go of what we think is valuable so that we can open our arms to embrace all He longs to give us.

We can hope that this man who went away sad thought again returned to receive what he was being offered.

And we can too. Missed opportunities are not the end of our story. The Lord is still offering us opportunities to say YES to Him! Today, let’s say YES anew! 

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The starkness of today’s readings is in sharp contrast to the saint we celebrate today. Against the readings of Babylonian captivity and the Psalmist’s lament over the defiling of the Temple and Jerusalem, and Jesus’ words of condemnation of the cities who refused to hear the Good News, we celebrate the Memorial of St. Therese of the Child Jesus, the 24-year-old Carmelite nun from Lisieux, often referred to as “The Little Flower” for her humility and childlikeness. This charming nickname may obscure the truth that Therese, though young, was a mighty and heroic spiritual warrior, who fought victoriously against temptations to doubt and despair amidst a prolonged interior dryness and desolation. A little flower with the tenacity of a Saguaro cactus in the desert, growing and blossoming.

Many of us have St. Therese tales, but let me share one with a lesson. Once, when I had a serious decision to make, one that would affect a big project and many other people as well, I did my due diligence: prayed for light and peace, sought spiritual direction, talked with other people involved, etc. There was mixed feedback, but it seemed clear that Choice B was better than Choice A, even though it would be very difficult. In spiritual direction, I was told “If X doesn’t happen, then you will need to choose B.” Well, X did not happen, but I really didn’t want to choose B, because I knew it would have a negative affect on this good project. 

I had to decide by the end of the day. So I prayed to St. Therese: “I don’t usually ask for a sign, but this is really serious, and really difficult. So could I please receive some of those roses you promised to shower from heaven?” Then I prayed my “cheater novena” – every hour for nine hours I prayed, “St. Therese the Little Flower, show me your power within the hour.” No roses came. The moment of decision arrived, and I was in knots of confusion; either choice would involve some hardship for me and my family and others. “St. Therese, help me see this with your simplicity!” I prayed, and then gently knew I had to simply follow the spiritual direction I’d been given. So, I chose B, let all the people involved know of my decision, and drove home, weary and stressed. And there, on the kitchen table were a dozen roses! My first thought was, “What? Why didn’t these come an hour ago?!” But the answer came in the second thought: I had to learn to OBEY the spiritual direction I receive, even when it’s truly confusing, but St. Therese sent those roses as a confirmation of my decision. This confirmation brought me the peace I needed to endure the difficult repercussions of that difficult decision.

St. Therese, with her tender heart, hears our prayers and intercedes for our tender hearts, so that we receive just what we need to get us through difficult times.

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Getting up can be difficult – getting up in the morning, getting up from the couch, getting up to help someone. I like sitting down myself. Getting up is a big change; a change of posture, certainly, but also a change of ATTENTION, a change of INTENTION. One moment I am doing one thing, the next moment I have gotten up to do SOMETHING ELSE. It’s human nature to want to remain where we are, to be undisturbed from whatever we are doing. Change is hard. Change requires a decision and a choice.

Matthew was sitting. He was at his customs post, waiting to collect more money, probably counting the money he had. Maybe he was figuring sums as he sat. Maybe he was sitting there figuring out how to find real fulfillment in his life, we don’t know. His Gospel doesn’t tell us, and doesn’t flatter him in any way. It tells the truth in such simplicity we might miss the monumentalness of it all:

“As Jesus passed by, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.”

He GOT UP. He made a decision and a choice to change. He changed his attention and his intention. One moment he was doing one thing, the next moment he got up to do something else. He responded to a call. He literally rose to the occasion.

Clearly, he was moved by grace to do this. Clearly, he saw something in this carpenter from Galilee that promised more than the money he had been counting. And clearly, he wanted to share this with his friends (who were clearly tax collectors and sinners) because he invited them to dinner with Jesus. And Jesus’ answer to the ever-skeptical Pharisees gives us some insight into the reason for the calling of Matthew: “Go and learn the meaning of the words, I desire mercy, and not sacrifice. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.” Matthew wasn’t perfect; but Jesus would perfect him.

Three lessons blaze up like fire from this short Gospel:

First, God does not wait for us to get all our spiritual affairs in order and to do everything right before he calls us! He calls us, the spiritually sick and imperfect, to follow him so that we can be healed and perfected by his Presence.

Second, we must respond to the call of Christ by GETTING UP and making a decision and a choice to change our attention and our intention. We must turn from one thing to another, from a lesser thing to the best thing, which is the will of God for our lives.

Third, others may question this change in us. No matter. Our witness to the mercy of God will outshine any ridicule or questions. For our part, when we are called, we must GET UP and follow wherever He leads. This is our YES to God.

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