We live in a more virtual world than ever before. Online meetings, emails, and videos are now the primary means of communication. Partially due to this, I have realized that it has been tough for me to be present to my husband and ultimately to Jesus, even though I have all the time in the world to spend in prayer and community with him.
I once read a book that I feel has helped me grow in my vocation called Marriage: The Mystery of Faithful Love by Dietrich von Hildebrand. He talks about how important it is to nourish love, how part of the vocation as husband and wife is to intentionally put your spouse first (and ultimately your relationship together with Christ). I would like to share a quote from his text below:
Because our laziness, our dullness, and our constant falling back into the periphery stultifies our vision, it is difficult always to keep before us in all its same clarity and splendor the image of the other person so wonderfully revealed by love. We should and must fight against this dullness, for it constitutes a sin against the temple which we erected in our marriage. (von Hildebrand, 1984)
After reading this passage in the text, I realized just what it means to truly put your spouse first. I am thankful for the gift to realize how much my spouse means to me and how I have been taking him for granted. With this realization comes the fact that I have not been loving Jesus the way I should be striving to love Him. In our Gospel today, Jesus reminds us: “Remain in me, as I remain in you.” But I have been falling asleep in the garden, my laziness has taken over, and I am at the point where I am tired of making excuses.
With the grace of God, present and given freely to us all, I am choosing, as von Hildebrand states, to “fight against this dullness” and utilize the free will God gave me to love my husband and God the way it was meant to be from the beginning. My flesh may be weak, and I know I will fall many times in the journey of life, but God will remain in me, as I strive to love others.
No matter the ways you are struggling to be present to others and ultimately be present to God, know that if you ask for the grace to love others and love Him more perfectly, He will give you the strength. He will help you overcome your vices and look further into yourself, so you may then see His presence in yourself and those around you. No matter if you are married, single, or consecrated to Christ, know that we are in this together – it all comes down to our human vocation, and that is to love.
“My vocation, at last I have found it; my vocation is love.”
-St. Thérèse of Lisieux
Vivimos en un mundo más virtual que nunca. Las reuniones en línea, los correos electrónicos y los videos ahora son los principales medios de comunicación. En parte debido a esto, me he dado cuenta de que ha sido difícil para mí estar presente con mi esposo y, en última instancia, con Jesús, aunque tengo todo el tiempo del mundo para pasarlo en oración y en comunidad con él.
Hace tiempo leí un libro que siento que me ha ayudado a crecer en mi vocación llamado Matrimonio: El Misterio del Amor Fiel por Dietrich von Hildebrand. Habla sobre lo importante que es alimentar el amor, cómo parte de la vocación de esposo es poner intencionalmente a su cónyuge primero (y en última instancia, su relación con Cristo). Me gustaría compartir una cita de su texto a continuación:
“Debido a que nuestra pereza, nuestra torpeza y nuestra constante caída en la periferia obstaculiza nuestra visión, es difícil mantener siempre ante nosotros en toda su claridad y esplendor la imagen de la otra persona tan maravillosamente revelada por el amor. Debemos y tenemos que luchar contra este embotamiento, pues constituye un pecado contra el templo que erigimos en nuestro matrimonio.” (von Hildebrand, 1984)
Después de leer este pasaje en el texto, me di cuenta de lo que significa realmente poner primero a tu cónyuge. Estoy agradecida por el regalo de darme cuenta de cuánto significa mi cónyuge para mí y de cómo lo he estado tomando por hecho. Con esta comprensión viene el hecho de que no he estado amando a Jesús de la manera en que debería esforzarme por amarlo. En nuestro Evangelio de hoy, Jesús nos recuerda: “Permanezcan en mí y yo en ustedes”. Pero me he estado quedando dormida en el jardín, mi pereza se ha apoderado de mí y ya estoy cansada de poner excusas.
Con la gracia de Dios, presente y dada gratuitamente a todos nosotros, elijo, como dice von Hildebrand, “luchar contra este aburrimiento” y utilizar el libre albedrío que Dios me dio para amar a mi esposo y a Dios de la manera en que debía hacerlo. Mi carne puede ser débil, y sé que caeré muchas veces en el camino de la vida, pero Dios permanecerá en mí, mientras me esfuerzo por amar a los demás.
No importa las formas en que estés luchando por estar presente para los demás y, en última instancia, estar presente para Dios, si pides la gracia de amar a los demás y amarlo más perfectamente, Él te dará la fuerza. Te ayudará a superar tus vicios y a mirarte más adentro, para que luego puedas ver Su presencia en ti y en los que te rodean. No importa si estás casado, soltero o consagrado a Cristo, sepa que estamos juntos en esto: todo se reduce a nuestra vocación humana, y eso es amar.
“Mi vocación, por fin la he encontrado; mi vocación es el amor.” (Sta. Teresa de Lisieux)
This reflection was reposted from Diocesan Archives. Author: Nathalie Shultz
Feature Image Credit: Michael Fenton, unsplash.com/photos/0ZQ8vojHNuc
Kathryn Mulderink, MA, is married to Robert, Station Manager for Holy Family Radio. Together they have seven children (including Father Rob), and seven grandchildren. She is President of the local community of Secular Discalced Carmelites and has published five books and many articles. Over the last 30 years, she has worked as a teacher, headmistress, catechist, Pastoral Associate, and DRE, and as a writer and voice talent for Catholic Radio. Currently, she serves the Church by writing and speaking, and by collaborating with various parishes and to lead others to encounter Christ and engage their faith. Her website is
Kate Taliaferro is an Air Force wife and mother. She is blessed to be able to homeschool, bake bread and fold endless piles of laundry. When not planning a school day, writing a blog post or cooking pasta, Kate can be found curled up with a book or working with some kind of fiber craft. Kate blogs at



Sheryl is happy to be the number 1 cheerleader and supporter for her husband, Tom who is a candidate for the Permanent Diaconate in the Diocese of Kalamazoo. They are so grateful for the opportunity to grow together in this process. Sheryl’s day job is serving her community as the principal for St. Therese Catholic School in Wayland, Michigan. Since every time she thinks she gets life all figured out, she realizes just how far she has to go, St. Rita of Cascia is her go-to Saint for intercession and help. Home includes Carlyn, a very, very goofy Golden Retriever and Lucy, our not-so-little rescue puppy.
Dakota lives in Denver, CO with her husband, Ralph, and their two sons, Alfie & Theophilus. She is the Dean of Enrollment Management for Bishop Machebeuf High School where her husband also teaches. You can find Dakota at the zoo or a brewery with her family or with her nose in a book at home. For more of Dakota’s writing check out
David Dashiell is a freelance author and editor in Nashville, Tennessee. He has a master’s degree in theology from Franciscan University, and is the editor of the anthology

