Each and every one of us is a complex being made up of not only a body but sometimes a very complicated soul. We all have a past, circumstances that have marked us and caused us to act and react in certain ways. Some of us were deeply loved as a child, some of us were unwanted and simply put up with. Some of us were listened to, others were expected to be seen and not heard. Some have been burned in relationships, at former jobs or in former vocations. Each and every one of us is highly unique and has never experienced exactly what the person next to us has. Even if we grew up in the same household, the way we internalized things was different.
A few months ago a sad memory resurfaced in my mind. I was in Rome at a grandiose millennial celebration. We were at Mass with the founder of the religious organization I was with at the time. It was a person who was highly respected and revered. At this special Mass, some of my companions were allowed to make the solemn renewal of their promises early. Normally this step was taken after two years, but since it was the year 2000 and we were all together in Italy, it was decided that those who were deemed ready would be allowed to renew early. Yet, there I sat after two and a half years and still not permitted to renew my promises. I remember staring at one of the youngest members of the bunch, just filled with envy and anger and I couldn’t stop crying. I wept through the whole Mass, wiping my nose on my shirt sleeve since, of course, I didn’t have a single tissue with me. I was a mess.
Little did I know at the time that just a few months later I would be leaving that life after discovering that it wasn’t my vocation. Little did I know that a decade later, that person that was so highly respected and revered was discovered to have been leading a double life and died in shame. Little did I know that two decades later I would have five children and a husband I adore, fulfilled in my new calling as wife and mother.
The moral of the story is that while that experience was deeply hurtful, it also forged me into a stronger person who realized that God is my only rock, my only salvation.
1 Peter sums it up beautifully: “Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you…The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ Jesus will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little.”
Jesus suffered, so we, as his followers, will suffer as well. We are not promised a life without suffering. We all have sad memories. But he does promise to “restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish” us. We are assured that he cares for us. We are invited to cast our worries upon him.
Whenever a difficult memory arises in your mind, try casting it upon the Lord and asking him to walk through it with you step by step. Ask him to help you learn from it and to heal you from it. For he cares for you, every deep and complex aspect of you.
Todos y cada uno de nosotros somos un ser complejo formado no solo por un cuerpo, sino a veces por un alma muy complicada. Todos tenemos un pasado, circunstancias que nos han marcado y provocado que actuemos y reaccionemos de determinada forma. Algunos de nosotros fuimos profundamente amados cuando éramos niños, algunos de nosotros no éramos queridos y simplemente nos soportaron. A algunos se nos escuchaba, a otros se esperaba que se nos viera y no se escuchara. Algunos han sido dañados en relaciones, en trabajos o vocaciones anteriores. Todos y cada uno de nosotros somos únicos y nunca hemos experimentado exactamente lo mismo que otra persona. Incluso si nos criamos en el mismo hogar, la forma en que internalizamos las cosas era diferente.
Hace unos meses un recuerdo triste resurgió en mi mente. Estuve en Roma en una grandiosa celebración milenial. Estábamos en misa con el fundador de la organización religiosa con la que era miembro en ese momento. Era una persona muy respetada y venerada. En esta Misa especial, a algunos de mis compañeros se les permitió adelantar la solemne renovación de sus promesas. Normalmente este paso se daba después de dos años, pero como era el año 2000 y estábamos todos juntos en Italia, se decidió que los que se consideraban listos podían renovar antes de tiempo. Sin embargo, allí me senté después de dos años y medio y todavía no me permitieron renovar mis promesas. Recuerdo mirar a uno de los miembros más jóvenes del grupo, llena de envidia y enfadada, no podía dejar de llorar. Lloré durante toda la Misa, limpiándome la nariz con la manga de la camisa ya que, por supuesto, no traía pañuelo conmigo. Era un desastre.
No sabía en ese momento que tan solo unos meses después dejaría esa vida después de descubrir que no era mi vocación. No sabía que una década después, se descubrió que esa persona tan respetada y reverenciada había estado llevando una doble vida y murió avergonzada. Poco sabía que dos décadas después tendría cinco hijos y un esposo al que adoro, realizada en mi nueva vocación como esposa y madre.
La moraleja de la historia es que si bien esa experiencia fue profundamente dolorosa, también me convirtió en una persona más fuerte que se dio cuenta de que Dios es mi única roca, mi única salvación.
1 Pedro lo resume hermosamente: “Dejen en sus manos todas sus preocupaciones, pues él cuida de ustedes… Dios, que es la fuente de todos los bienes, nos ha llamado a participar de su gloria eterna en unión con Cristo, y después de estos sufrimientos tan breves, los restaurará a ustedes, los afianzará, fortalecerá y hará inconmovibles.”
Jesús sufrió, así que nosotros, como sus seguidores, también sufriremos. No se nos promete una vida sin sufrimiento. Todos tenemos recuerdos tristes. Pero sí nos promete “restaurar, afianzar, y fortalecer”. Estamos seguros de que él se cuida de nosotros. Estamos invitados a dejar en sus manos todas nuestras preocupaciones.
Cada vez que surja un recuerdo difícil en tu mente, trate de dejarlo en los manos del Señor y pídale que lo acompañe paso a paso. Pídele que te ayude a aprender de él y que te sane. Porque él se cuida de ti, cada aspecto profundo y complejo de ti.
Feature Image Credit: Steven Van Loy, unsplash.com/photos/oUhSla4L_98
Tami Urcia grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. She loves tackling projects, finding fun ways to keep her little ones occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby and finding unique ways to love. She works at for Christian Healthcare Centers, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for over 20 years.
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