Tag: Merridith Frediani

In addition to giving himself in the Eucharist, Jesus shared his mother with us too. When he told John, “Behold your mother,” we all received a spiritual mother and she’s a good one. 

Mary loves us and points us toward her Son. She doesn’t  judge the cleanliness of our house or our appearance or our life choices. She accepts us and welcomes us into her heart. She intercedes for us, bringing our petitions to Jesus herself. Who better to bring them than his mother?

Mary also models for us how to be a mother. In her quiet, humble way she raised the Savior of the world. We know her to be meek, gentle, and good. She is also strong and protective and I’ve learned that she loves my kids as much as I do. 

When my oldest was stumbling through his senior year of high school filled with indecision I felt like I was not being the mother he needed me to be. I decided to give him to Mary. I asked for her help and stepped back. I felt relieved knowing he was in her loving hands. After a year commuting to college from home he announced that he found a school he wanted to attend – the University of Mary. It was the perfect place for him. I believe it was Mary’s intercession that helped him find his path. 

God knows we sometimes struggle with our earthly parents and we sometimes struggle being parents so he gives us help. Whether you have a great or not so great relationship with your mother, you can be assured that Mary is always there loving you and willing to help. 

Where do you need your mother Mary’s intercession right now?

Mary, I ask for your prayers for my special intentions (name them) and trust that all will be well.

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Being ashamed of someone implies a familial relationship, a deep level of caring.  We can get mad at people in whom we have no emotional investment.  Being ashamed is reserved for those for whom we love. 

In today’s Gospel, Jesus reveals that he will be ashamed of whoever is ashamed of him. How painful to see that shame on his face. I want to avoid doing anything that would lead to it but I find sometimes I am ashamed.

 I am ashamed of him when I am too embarrassed to give thanks for my food when in a restaurant.

I am ashamed when I implicitly agree with something wrong because I don’t want to be seen as a weirdo.

I am ashamed when I don’t tell people how profoundly my life has changed for the better because of his love.

I am ashamed when I don’t defend the teachings of the Church as Truth.

It is what I refrain from  doing or saying because I am still too concerned with what others think. The only one whose opinion matters is the Lord’s.

I need to be ok with being judged by strangers, and given today’s faithless and sinful generation, probably mocked or criticized or called names. In this divisive time, secular society has decided what we can and cannot believe and say. Even if we quietly live our Catholic faith, we experience the judgment. As my husband and I went through a deepening of our faith over the past six years or so, we have grown closer to Jesus and farther from some friends. We know that our decision to embrace our Catholicity has turned them off. We don’t preach or condemn but we also don’t hide decisions we have made for ourselves and our family. 

But more and more just living our faith is not enough. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older but I fear for our society. We ran into some neighbors who were telling us how diverse our old block had become but when they described the Orthodox Jewish family as part of a cult, we realized that diversity only applies to lifestyle not religious beliefs. 

I do not ever want Jesus to be ashamed of me – he died to save my soul – so words need to be used. I pray for the courage to use those words and not be ashamed of our Savior.

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One of my daughter’s friends announced that she is non-binary, changing her name to Shawn, and using they/them pronouns. In response to questions she said she is more comfortable with these words in identifying who she feels she is. 

How did we get here?

In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve. They lived happily in the garden until the evil one got involved and cast seeds of doubt. God told them that if they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil they would die. Satan invited them to doubt the truth of God’s words and death entered in.. 

“But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not die. For God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Gen 3:4-5)

Satan is at it again. This time he is sowing seeds of doubt about our identity. The creation story tells us we are made male and female. This is our identity. The gender fluidity movement says that’s a lie – our gender is what we say it is not what God says it is.

He whispers, “You aren’t a female just because your biology is female. You are what you think you are. You are what feels comfortable.” 

In today’s Gospel we hear about who we really are. Our identity is as a fellow citizen with the holy ones. We are members of God’s household. The truth of who we are, our true identity, is that we are His. We are his sons and daughters. We are male and female parts of a large family spanning time and space. We are part of something built upon and held together by Jesus Christ. We are a place where the Spirit dwells.

When we embrace our place as children of God we come to see the beauty of our created bodies and we value that creation. We don’t pick our gender, we are blessed with our gender. Our gender is how we generate new life and God chooses whether we do that generating by creating seed or growing the new life inside us. It’s one or the other and we can look at our bodies to figure out which it is. 

Today we are reminded: we are not strangers to God. We belong to him. Our identity is as his children. We are not what the world says we are. We may not even be what we think we are. The truth is that we are who God says we are – beautiful children who belong to him. If we stay close to him, he will reveal more to us and we won’t have to listen to any lies.

Claim your place in his household. Number yourself with the holy ones. Stand firm upon his foundation and let his spirit dwell within you. 

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In today’s reading from 1 Peter for the memorial of St. Wenceslaus, we hear about righteousness and suffering. “Righteous” is a tricky word. It’s associated with surfers and the ‘70s and, in my mind, has an air of insincerity as if someone is acting righteous more for applause than because it’s the right thing to do. 

Merriam Webster defines it differently – “acting in accord with divine or moral law” – and it’s that definition that makes the Biblical use of it make sense. Paul warns Peter that righteousness may lead to suffering but that’s okay. The one who suffers for doing good is blessed. This can be hard to hear. We’d like to think that if we do good we will be rewarded with good – as if there is some sort of karmic bank into which we make deposits and withdrawals. If we treat others well, we will be treated well.

It’s not like that though. The reality, especially in today’s combative culture, is that being righteous – acting in accord with divine law – is going to bring some suffering. It may not be big. It may not be public mockery or losing a job. It will most likely come from people we know and love and it may be small comments or little jabs.

Pursuing holiness comes with a cost. In choosing to follow Christ’s teachings, we are choosing to live differently from the majority of people around us. As much as people can be inspired by being around someone who pursues goodness, people can also find fault with it. If you’re a regular Sunday Mass attendee, you may have heard comments from people about how “holy” and “good” you are. If you leave work early to go to adoration, someone may say something slightly snide. When it’s a stranger, we let it roll; when it’s a friend, it hurts. 

If you prioritize your faith and your relationship with Jesus, people will have comments and opinions and you may suffer. Today’s culture is not righteous, so when we try to live those values, it is brought to our attention how others feel.

But St. Paul tells us we will be blessed and because of that we can rejoice. It’s hard to hear the comments or see the looks that cross people’s faces but if it means we are doing the righteous thing then we can rest with Jesus in that. 

In the end, the only one whose opinion matters is God’s and he will be generous in his blessings. 

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Imagine “nothing.” In the beginning there was nothing. From nothing God brought into existence everything. When I try to imagine what nothing is, I envision complete darkness, but even darkness is something.  Nothing is not a thing. This is what God started with and from it he created, he willed into existence, all that we see and know – from the molten core of the earth to the stars in the galaxy; from dirt to trees to rivers to animals. All of it came from the God of lights, the unchanging Creator. 

We read today that every perfect gift comes from God and we know from Genesis that everything God created is good. The sand, the rocks, the clouds and the elephants are good. The lions, bees, cows, and plants are good. God’s imagination is boundless and it is all good.

Take a moment to recognize all God created and then reflect on your place in it. Not only are you good by virtue of being a creature of God, but you, according to James, are a first fruit of God’s creation. The first fruit is the fruit of the harvest offered to God in thanksgiving. It’s the best and it’s offered in recognition that God deserves the best. 

Here, James is positing that humans are the first fruits of creation – the best. This includes all of us. By his will he created you just as you are and you are a first fruit. It’s hard to remember this. It’s easy to find fault with ourselves. When I look in the mirror I see what’s wrong more often than what’s right. When I reflect on my actions, I see where I could have done better instead of what I did well. I forget that by nature of being willed by God that I am good. He made me as I am and he loves me as I am. To tell myself otherwise is an insult to the One who made me because he only makes good.

I am a first fruit. As are you. We are good. We are loved. We are enough. 

Why?

Because God made us that way.

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It is good for me to remind myself, when I get mired down in the daily mess of life, that my time on earth is transitory. In the entirety of my existence, beginning with conception and continuing forever, life on earth is a tiny blip. It feels huge but it is a mere speck. That’s hard to imagine being bound by time as we are. Never ending eternity, whether in heaven or hell, is impossible to grasp. 

It is good to remember this truth though because it helps to more rightly frame time on earth. In today’s Gospel we hear of two instances of a man selling all he has with joy in pursuit of the kingdom of heaven. I ask myself if I am willing to not just sell all I have, but give all I have because I think that is what Jesus asks of us – give all we have, surrender all we are to the Father. Giving it all and doing it joyfully feels big. 

Am I able to do this? Is there something I value so much that would be hard to give? Do I trust that I’ll still have what I need? 

Several years ago I gave God permission to do what he wanted with my life. It felt at first as if I made a mistake because I was stripped of what I thought was his will. I believe that initially I was doing his will because it led me to a place where I could give him this permission but what he allowed to happen confused me. I ended up giving it all – or as much as I could. At first there was no joy but our God is a patient and gentle teacher and he showed me how to find joy in a place where I had no control, just a lot of uncertainty. 

In going from a rowboat, rowing against the waves to a sailboat powered by the Holy Spirit, I learned that giving it all can be done joyfully. And I learned that while my life’s purpose is to get to heaven, I am not pursuing God as much as God is pursuing me. 

So I’m not alone with nothing, rather I’m growing in communion with the perfect friend – Jesus. I’ve received a hundred times more than I gave. It’s true that God is never outdone in generosity and what he had in store was more than I dreamed. 

Giving God permission may feel scary, but in doing so, we make space for him and we become filled with his grace. The more we give, the more he comes crashing in. And he is greater than a field of treasure or a pearl of great price – he is the glory of the universe, the almighty God and he is so good. 

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